Flip, last night

Now, I know I shouldn't be complaining. I'm not in really bad pain or anything like that, though what's happening is pretty unpleasant, but last night just got to me a bit. I realised that this isn't going to be easy, that it's affected every cell in my body and I'm going to feel it as the inflamation and stiffness goes away. It's happening so slowly.

Last night I woke up as a whole muscle group suddenly moved. Good news I know, but it felt so strange, and there was the usual accompanying pain, though by the time I drifted back to sleep that had gone and had been replaced by a feeling of calm, probably due to the fact that the pain had gone. There'd been more muscle moving as well, but it settled down after a while and I got back to sleep. There's a general feeling of rawness though that's there all the time and is controlled with pain relief. That's due to the fact that the muscles have been in this condition for a while and have started to move again.

When it got bad, as it did for a while, I thought of Noor Anayat Khan and that soon brought things into perspective and I found it much easier to cope with. I thought a bit about the things I'd been through too and realised that I'll get through this. It's just that this is a bit different I guess.

I guess too that I am still the master of understatement. But I'm doing ok here really.

And it strengthens you working your way through something like this. Builds up coping mechanisms I guess. And maybe little neural pathways in the brain.

Considering I'm so freaking tired too, I'm doing fine.