evening

I enjoy researching the possibility of having a soul and there being life after death but I get tired easily. I very rarely used to think about it before and it wasn't anything that was talked about much .. though a couple of people had told me about experiences they'd had .. which I'd just put aside. It's strange, in a way though, the first time I set off on a journey off exploration .. nobody talked about it then either. It's very difficult to know exactly what anybody thinks about the subject really .. well, except for myself.

I've said what I have to let people know that I think there's a good possibility that there us and where to look if they want to know why people think that there might be .. I wandered off in the wrong direction the first time.

I do believe .. though I do sometimes wonder if I do .. years of thinking the other way still intrudes sometimes .. but, obviously if something isn't tangible it's very difficult to maintain a belief. One thing that makes me know that I do believe is how I cope with this illness. If I didn't I think that I'd be very different and that would be something that I couldn't control consciously .. so subconsciously I obviously do .. which is good to know.

I don't have any religious beliefs to go with it .. some of my friends do and some don't. I do more or less belong to a group of people where some of them have religious beliefs in that they believe in a god but the word god is open to a wide interpretation. Some don't have beliefs like that at all. I believe in a soul and all the other things that go with being part of them. I think they're the nearest to my own beliefs. I also feel quite connected to Buddhism as I've said before but I don't really believe in reincarnation .. I tend to think that we just have one life here but that's just my way of interpretting things.

It's up to people to investigate and decide what they think. If they want to .. there's heaps of research and peoples stories out there.

I don't think logically that you can ever have a closed mind to the fact that it could be a possibility though .. just from the fact that anything exists at all. It's baffling far beyond anything the human mind can think of to explain why there should be anywhere at all .. not just anything but anywhere for anything to exist in. Totally baffling .. roll out ur equations. explain what we do know through mathmatics/science but that is still left totally puzzling.

It's a beautiful way of seeing and exploring the universe/s but that's still something that can't be touched on.

As the guy said in the programme on Horizon it may sound like science fiction but it's science fact when talking about quantum mechanics .. something else that's great to read about.

I know someone through a friend who's just learning to read a lot better than they could .. didn't learn much at school though not dyslexic .. but wants to read popular science books now so is off to learn. They've said thanks for opening up a whole new world for them. Not the first person I've heard about who really didn't think they needed to learn because they could get a job without being able to read and write. He's really happy about it and has already learnt from asking people to show him this and that.

Anyway, off to get something to eat ... same as usual!!! lol!!! I chop it up really small now and it's easier to deal with though it doesn't matter if I don't eat it as I can get Fortesips off the NHS if I need them but I'd prefer not to.