anyway

I did wonder if I was going to die. I've been in quite a bit of pain over the last few days from time to time and I did just wonder. First my spine and when that cleared up, and it has to a great extent, a cold attacked internal organs. My thoughts were fuelled by the knowledge of someone else who'd died in what I felt to be similar circumstances.

Anyway, it seems that I'm getting better ..... again.



I'd said that I wouldn't talk about esoteric things on here again. But I think my mind is starting to internalise that there might be something. Instead of dismissing things as being scientifically unprovable even though I know they've happened, and with the coincidences and synchronicity becoming rather frequent for a while, I think my mind is becoming unable to keep on pushing it all away as possibly not meaning anything at all.

I seem to have gone through the f*ck off universe stage, through the well it could mean something but more than likely doesn't stage into a stage where my mind has internalised all that's happened, well, all it can remember anyway, and thinks that maybe it does mean something but really doesn't know what. Which is probably where most people are with things like this. And, I guess, is just the truth.

This time wondering about dying I didn't think much about losing consciousness I was more worried about who might meet me once I'd gone where ever it would be I'd go because there are certain people I really wouldn't feel comfortable about having around to say the least and just wanted to sort that out if possible.


Anyway, I'm ok.