The morning after .....

Well, up, fed and medicated!! Meditated last night but not today so far. I will sort that out but this week has been difficult .. I keep on having these spasms though they're not as long lasting as they used to be .. a friend miscarried and lost her babies .. and someone else has left her marriage which could be a good thing .. he'd become very controlling .. we shall see .. someone else has a growth which I hope will be benign but there have been a few so ofcourse people are worried.

For myself I hope that the pain will get less that's my main priority and that my auto immune illness goes into remission .. thought I better add that though in one respect they are tied but not all .. not with the breathing problems etc. I'll support my friend who's lost the babies ... she's in a difficult place right now and not quite sure how to respond to things. People are often lost for words.

I've got to do a bit more tidying up .. rubbish doon the stairs .. not that easy at times but it needs to be sorted and I can do it on me better days.

I know the muscles are releasing a bit .. that's why I can walk further again .. well, down to the docs or back .. I've done it once both ways. Didn't think I'd manage to walk that far again .. there are plenty of stops and it takes a while but I've done it a few times now!!

Me friends think I'm amazingly strong !!!! The way I see it is that it's best to do what I can .. got to bed earlier last night too!!! People I know seem to think that it's best to just get on with things cause moaning just brings you down .. not, ofcourse, that you don't have the odd day, but it's best to try and keep urself occupied and enjoying what you can. Though ofcourse it is quite natural to go through periods of grief at times like this when you're adapting to the loss of the life you had before.

Anyway .. to bed at a reasonable time again tonight. I'll wake up .. but I do get back to sleep quickly on the whole.

Yesterday wasn't really that much of a surprise .. there was just so much going on that you could never really tell what was I guess .. many different facets. I still don't know the underlying issues really. Too complicated to ever work out. You'd just have to surmise a lot. I'd challenge any psychologist!!! What a waste of life though. Not the psychologist's!!! Just the general mess up there was. Still life can be complicated in that way with different peoples personalities and intentions.

Just taken some more pain relief so see how it goes.

Comes back to put the k in taken .. this keyboard has a few duff keys .. much more so than the last one .. k is the worse. Comes back to put the k in k and keyboard. etc, etc.