?????????

I guess I want to hear more and more about other people's experiences and want more of my own because I'm still surprized by it all consciously and find it all very difficult to take in.

Sunday just gone was one of those times where I had to alter my thinking a bit .. in a good way. I was very pleased to have to because it was another doubt that I had floating around about something.

Ofcourse doubts do turn up .. because the subject isn't tangeable as such, is it. But the doubts always seem to be taken care of and that can't keep on happening and me ignoring it.. because of that I've come up with my conclusion. Ofcourse I would like something totally tangeable .. other people seem to feel that I've got it .. but there's always a part of me, while admitting that everything that's happened has happened and that little details make it even more likely. I know that I'm not scared by death and the reason is because of the experiences and that it's a subconscious thing now .. that subconsciously I believe in "spirit" (I just use that word as a description of life after death) but I'm still busy trying to rationalize it with my conscious mind. Subconsciously it's changed me.

It took a long time for the subconscious change to happen and it is a result of continually doubting and having that doubt being removed over and over again. On the surface I'm continually searching for more and more and new questions come into my mind.

I don't find the idea that difficult to take in anymore .. that changed once I really compared the idea of there being anything at all to the thought that there could be spirit. The latter was much easier to accept as a result of somehow there being anything at all.