Will I .... won't I

I think last time I was in hospital I met someone who was going to one of the events at the Spa Centre I think and I was thinking about going if I could cause I hadn't been to anything like that before. Obviously I didn't go ot the blogs would've been full of it. I can't remember if the woman I was talking to in hospital went or not. I think she was discharged in time. She'd said if she hadn't been she would just give her tickets to someone else. I know I told people I'd like to go .. probably said so on here too but I didn't think there was much chance that I'd be out in time .. and I wasn't.

I don't know who was here that time as I didn't know any of the names because I didn't watch the TV. Probably just as well because then I could come to my own conclusions about things without being affected by all the commercial stuff there is out there.

Mum was interested though she only spoke about her experiences a couple of times but I know she believed in this side of things though it was never talked about in any depth.

I know and know of the most cynical of people who've had their mind changed by events in their own life. I think, for me, it's had to be personal experiences that can be proven or followed up which've really made me think. The others I guess you get from talking with friends and like minded people if you're interested. If you're really interested that's how it goes isn't it or it has been for me anyway. I've pottered round chatting to people who seem to be on the same wave length who I don't know that well or I've been talking to people here I know reasonably well and other people have joined in to share as well. And I've spoken to people who I've known for a long time but haven't spoken about this type of thing to before .. or if I have it was a long time ago and things've changed. Almost sixty years on the planet and some of it looking into things like this though giving up as I explained before should've brought something to think about if there is anything. Hearing someone elses experience might make someone remember something or start looking.

I've written quite a bit about it in my blogs and on some boards. There was more in an earlier blog .. me just giving a little bit out there. Just for those that are interested .. those that aren't can easily pass it by or store it to think about at a later date maybe. But I've talked here and there about these things for people who have a real interest but I can't research or experience ur own experiences .. mine'll always be second hand for other people. People who aren't interested won't be whatever I say .. people who are might be. My friends are fascinated because they know what a cynic I am just as I've been when someone I know is cynical has said something or someone tells me about a cynical relative's experience that has changed his/her mind. Well, as an ex cynic I've put a couple of stories out there too.

I guess I'll carry on talking about it for the rest of my life. When I've left here I'll attend meetings and'll probably go to the healing place that's near where I live .... guess it'll be nice and peaceful to go sit there now and then. And chat!!!!!!

I'll see some of u then ...... and will pop over and chat later on this evening.

I don't think I'll go to the meeting though ... maybe the tickets have gone. Maybe I'll just carry on as usual and then go to local things .. and there appear to be quite a few of them when I get back. I had no idea there was so much to attend .. or for that matter anything at all because it wasn't something that did much more than flit across my mind very, very occasionally. Usually in regards to Lin and her family. I hadn't really understood what it was about ... well, I never really talked about it with her. She'd say something and I never really followed it up ... guess I was too young and a million miles away from thinking much about those kind of things at the time. I sure had a lot of other ideas to follow up all over the placeat the time. We were only 15 when we met and it was something I knew ziltch about. I'm glad she did talk a bit about it though to me .. I guess I wish I'd listened a bit more though how much I'd've really taken in and understood or believed if all of it was on hearsay at the time I don't know. Just knowing her then has been a help now though.