Too tired
I was going to potter off to somewhere new I'd been invited to this evening but I'd had a latish appointment at the doctors and felt shattered when I got in.
T'other place I used to go to on Fridays .. well, they have things on during the day .. can't remember if coffee mornings are still on .. if not they have an afternoon service .. it doesn't matter if you're not religious .. as I've mentioned before there are two different paths .. the religious and the philisophical. I belong to the latter.
Haven't given the prints to me brother yet ... sort that out next week .. I suppose quite a number of people have one round here.
I've had a Fortisip for dinner tonight .. those things are invaluable when u don't feel like making a meal or eating one .. 30g of protein and vitamins and minerals .. and a breakfast type bar and some fruit juice. I've put a Fortisip in the fridge for tomorrow too.
Haven't meditated today .. but will this evening for about 10 minutes.
I would've liked to have had a hot chocolate to sit outside for a while today again even if I didn't feel like being somewhere and chatting. This will come as surprize to some people reading this .. wish it was now that I'm sort of back on me feet (just a bit) that there was no stopping me. .. but it ain't how it is. I don't feel well enough to be out fer long times in the evenings yet. I'm sitting here yawning quite a bit. And, I guess, especially after the tummy spasms earlier in the week I should be staying in and resting some. Anyway .. guess I better be moving towards getting some sleep. Trouble is .... I just wake up again when the pain comes back.
I take a very high dose of morphine .. and while I wish that I didn't need to I'm very grateful for it .. both the MST and the oramorph. Having it quite late or missing it lets me know how it helps. Feeling the edge of the pain ebbing away. I was surprised how little some people seem to need .. I've been reading about the pain meds .. it helps me understand just how severe my pain is on the scale. I've had a bit of a hard time takng it in really .. and, I guess, I hoped that I wasn't taing so high a dose cause it'd mean there wouldn't be so many problems adding to it cause obviously what I'd really like is for the pain to go.
Most of me life I've taken no more than a couple of paracetamols a year .. if that. I just don't like putting stuff like that in my body ..as a nurse said .. everything has side effects .. rather save the brain cells etc than destroy them. Someone I know was bemoaning the fact that his friends are starting to pass over .. he was heavily on booze and other drugs back in the 70s and early 80s .. I mean .. he's lost lots along the way .. but this is more the past seeming to be coming back to show himself. Ofcourse some people are lucky.
I've been unlucky I guess .. but I'd've been even unluckier if my body wasn't strong to start off with. At least I can fight back. I hate to think what now would be like if it wasn't.
On the other hand it's daft to tell people to come off medication they need to stay well and I don't know why they do. And still do after they see the person showing signs of becoming ill again after the medication has stabilized the condition.
I'm off anyway. Gotta get that rest. I'll keep me specs, book and pain relief by the bed.
T'other place I used to go to on Fridays .. well, they have things on during the day .. can't remember if coffee mornings are still on .. if not they have an afternoon service .. it doesn't matter if you're not religious .. as I've mentioned before there are two different paths .. the religious and the philisophical. I belong to the latter.
Haven't given the prints to me brother yet ... sort that out next week .. I suppose quite a number of people have one round here.
I've had a Fortisip for dinner tonight .. those things are invaluable when u don't feel like making a meal or eating one .. 30g of protein and vitamins and minerals .. and a breakfast type bar and some fruit juice. I've put a Fortisip in the fridge for tomorrow too.
Haven't meditated today .. but will this evening for about 10 minutes.
I would've liked to have had a hot chocolate to sit outside for a while today again even if I didn't feel like being somewhere and chatting. This will come as surprize to some people reading this .. wish it was now that I'm sort of back on me feet (just a bit) that there was no stopping me. .. but it ain't how it is. I don't feel well enough to be out fer long times in the evenings yet. I'm sitting here yawning quite a bit. And, I guess, especially after the tummy spasms earlier in the week I should be staying in and resting some. Anyway .. guess I better be moving towards getting some sleep. Trouble is .... I just wake up again when the pain comes back.
I take a very high dose of morphine .. and while I wish that I didn't need to I'm very grateful for it .. both the MST and the oramorph. Having it quite late or missing it lets me know how it helps. Feeling the edge of the pain ebbing away. I was surprised how little some people seem to need .. I've been reading about the pain meds .. it helps me understand just how severe my pain is on the scale. I've had a bit of a hard time takng it in really .. and, I guess, I hoped that I wasn't taing so high a dose cause it'd mean there wouldn't be so many problems adding to it cause obviously what I'd really like is for the pain to go.
Most of me life I've taken no more than a couple of paracetamols a year .. if that. I just don't like putting stuff like that in my body ..as a nurse said .. everything has side effects .. rather save the brain cells etc than destroy them. Someone I know was bemoaning the fact that his friends are starting to pass over .. he was heavily on booze and other drugs back in the 70s and early 80s .. I mean .. he's lost lots along the way .. but this is more the past seeming to be coming back to show himself. Ofcourse some people are lucky.
I've been unlucky I guess .. but I'd've been even unluckier if my body wasn't strong to start off with. At least I can fight back. I hate to think what now would be like if it wasn't.
On the other hand it's daft to tell people to come off medication they need to stay well and I don't know why they do. And still do after they see the person showing signs of becoming ill again after the medication has stabilized the condition.
I'm off anyway. Gotta get that rest. I'll keep me specs, book and pain relief by the bed.
posted by Zeb at 1:22 PM
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