This is just a little one I prepared earlier.

Up quite early this morning .. taken my bone sparing pill .. must remember that I'm taking it on Thursdays now rather than Sunday.

I didn't get to sleep easily last night and kept on almost falling asleep then waking up again. Eventually I just stayed awake for a while and tried again and slept through til this morning. Think I should have gone to sleep a bit earlier. I'd slept lots in hospital .. waking up at night as usual even though I'm on more oramorph now but still sleeping a lot at night and in the day.

I was sad that I missed the meeting but then on the other hand I now know of two more NDEs and one OBE .. though I can't remember much about the OBE as I was feeling too ill to really take much in when we were talking. I think the memory will come back though as a bit more did then when I was thinking about it. Think I'll just leave it and I guess when I'm feeling a bit better it'll just be there. It's all fascinating.

I had been pushing my own experiences away a bit and bordering on the cynical again .. though I couldn't quite make it however hard I seemed to be trying. There are so many people out there who have had experiences like this .. it's just that they usually don't talk about them except within their closest circles. I think I might've heard about more but the woman left the same day I moved next to her and as she was rather shy I didn't want to ask her. It was just that how she was talking made me think that something like that had probably happened in her life.

I have a copy of the latest BJN too which has a supplement on tissue viability in it with quite a bit about manuka honey. That'll be interesting to read. Didn't feel much like reading there. Also found quite a nice health magazine which isn't aimed at medical staff like the BJN. Will read that later too.

Forgot to post this earlier .. dozing .. then food shopping .. then dozing .. then doctors .. then food shopping .. then .. whoops!!! Thought I'd posted it up. Surprized I'd managed to write that much really. I'm very tired though not as tired as I thought I'd be given the extra morphine and my illnesses. I am on huge doses of morphine now .. though have cut back on the ibuprofen because my auto immune illness might be causing more problems when I take it. Ibuprofen can cause tummy problems in some people and obviously with my illness I'm susceptible .. so it's more morphine now and just two ibuprofen a day for the moment. See how that goes.

Other than that been trying to catch up with people .. I thought I'd posted this earlier so that people would know I is ok .. but I was told I hadn't .. and .. well, I must've dozed off. I thought I was on about the maximum dose of morphine but it seems that I can go a bit higher. I think it might have to be more of a cocktail with other drugs soon though. Amitriptyline was suggested a while back as another pain relief tablet that could be added. It controls nerve pain and I do have pain from crushed nerves. I'd said I didn't want to take it as it is an antidepressant too and would prefer to leave it for a later option when the morphine needs more of a boost because my body is so used to it. I am on huge doses of morphine though and it is only because of the amount of pain I'm in that my body can tolerate it. And apparently I shouldn't get addicted to it cause of the amount of pain I have because the body just uses it up as pain relief.

Well, off to bed now and I hope I get to sleep easier than last night.