Up .. then back t' bed

I'll be back off to bed soon .. just taking a drop more Oramorph.

I've been thinking .. I will start making notes and then make a book for myself. It'll only be a few pages long if I don't illustrate it .. maybe time has passed to do things like that .. I don't know. I'd like to make illustrated ones .. they're kind of more user friendly aren't they. Like some of those Victorian nature journals.

And there'll be more people to talk to .. it's not so easy over the net really .. not to ask indepth questions about such personal things. Generally I just let people talk and don't ask any questions .. and they've done the same.

I wish that I'd written everything down .. but it's too late for that now .. developing the illnesses, while not exactly making me forgetful .. has pushed some thingsto the back of my mind and I might have to forrage a bit to start really thining about them again .. I think some, just after mum's passing, will have gone for good. That actually is a bit of a blurr now as far as things like that go .. my mind was focused on other things rather unsurprizingly. Though, at the time, I did notice.

Still ... too late now.

I was advised to get in touch with some people who approach things like this from a scientific viewpoint .. and I might once I'm back in town. If they want to talk to me ... I'm not quite sure what exactly it is that they're looking for. I might talk to the lady again. It would be good to have some indepth discussions and to hear more about other people's experiences discussed in an environment like that.

There are a number of places to approach.

Just net wise .. it's interesting to board hop and read about people's experiences .. some are truly very, very interesting. Mine tend to be rather low key .. no doubles lying on beds for me. Or warnings or predictions or anything like that.

I think I've been lucky in some ways that I don't drink etc or things might have got lost along the way .. because you lose your"certainty" to some extent .. it's harder to be sure. Like that professor said .. he was sure he hadn't been drinking that night .. if he had it would have been harder to be sure the next morning.

On one of my boards they have nurses stories .. posted there long before I turned up. It's a shame people don't feel able to talk more .. but then, in other ways, because they don't and then confide in someone who's been there themselves, you can be more sure about what you're hearing.