Saturday

Regardless of the warming tomato soup I didn't have a good night's sleep last night .. just kept on drifting in and out of sleep again. I'd been a bit like that the night before as well but had still got a reasonable amount of sleep .. last night I didn't. Was up at half five . didn't feel any worse than usual then .. had a couple of hours sleep and then woke up feeling very ill .. there'd been quite a lot of muscle movement over night, while I was awake, with the muscles pushing this way and that but I didn't feel any the worse for it when I was up around 5.30 so I wasn't expecting to feel like I did a couple or so hours later.

I suppose it's my cold that's making me feel worse than usual. My eyes were very watery when I got up yesterday, still watery this morning though not quite as bad as yesterday, so I know that I've still got one .. or, at least I hope it's that .. my auto immune illness seems to have got a little worse again over the last few days. Think it's my cold though. Didn't eat very well yesterday either .. though did have a protein drink and a multi vit.

Thought of spirit and that helped me get through it .. didn't take the horrible feelings away but made me feel more relaxed in myself while coping with it. I'd imagine quite a number of people do the same as me in that respect .. depends what they've experienced or have come to believe in other ways I guess. I suppose that quite a few people do find it a comfort when they're feeling ill though. Apart from the times when I've been very, very bad and verging on being delirious with fever and not been that aware I've found it a great comfort .. did to a degree then but on a more subconscious level .. just not being frightened. I think of that book now too .. it helps ground me a little I think when I'm feeling worse than usual. I think of the two stories from it that I told my friend .. she'd said something the last time we met that made me think she'd like to hear them .. and she did .. so was very pleased that we met up again so quickly.

Got my meds down without bringing them up again .. always a worry that they won't stay down when I'm feeling worse than usual .. and am now going to get something to eat. I'm still feeling worse than usual but not as bad as when I got up. That was a surprize considering that I'd felt reasonable (for me) a couple of hours earlier after quite a lot (comparitively) of muscle movement that night.