...........
I had a couple of days sadness amd very slight panic at the thought of this flu. I don't reallywant to die from the flu .. thought it'd be from the auto immune illness or the effects of the medication .. the medication has caused a lot of problems ... me muscle and bone probs for a start and there are others.
But I am kinda coming round .. the fear and sadness is wearing off for myself .. it is a horrible thing though. My brother accepts it .. surprizingly because of spirit .. he's had a couple of OBEs as I've mentioned before so he knows that the consciousness can appear to leave the body .. didn't like them but that's different from having had the experience. I am surprized by how he seems to think now though, Most of my other friends seem to've been a bit like me .. a few days sadness then coming to terms with it all and thinking about it away from the sadness and panic. Ofcourse there's the sadness of being parted from loved ones if anyone does pass over but that's different from the other fear.
I was wondering how Gordon Smith was thinking about it .. if he's for real I expect he'll be rather like me .. if not .. well, who knows. Must read his book .. I've read a number before and, on the whole, don't expect this to be all that much different. Wonder if he'll mention this town in it again .. he has in two of them. I remember the pleasure of picking a couple of his books up cheaply at The Works.
Guess I really need to catch up on my sleep after going all those 24/48 hours stints without sleeping at all .. well, if I can. Just taken my evening pain relief so I should be in bed by 12 I've dozed a bit today again so resting's ok .. but I do need to have turned in by midnight,
Tomorrow I expect I'll have taken the news in and be back to my own self as usual as far as the life after life thing goes. Will be sad in general .. but hopefully people will be ok. Shame that governments weren't ready. They were talking about getting the face masks ready years ago .. guess it got back shelved. As for getting the anti viral drugs back into production .. they are at the expense of winter flu jabs I think and it's fortunate that one chemical doesn't take a year to develop anymore.
E has been totally caught out now .. well, we already had the info but she hadn't done it publically .. the woman I mentioned before found it ..lol!!! So just as well she carried on her detective work. Her memory is going to pot though and I do suspect, in the evenings, that it's helped on by a glass or two of wine. It's quite possible that she thinks it's helping her .. opening the blood vessels .. but it is making it very obvious. Very sad.
Through what she found I also discovered more news about my old friend .. the alcoholic that my brother thought might be starting to suffer from early onset wet brain .. she spends most of her day in bed now .. just gets up when the kids come home from school. Very sad .. was wondering whether to get back in touch with her .. but guess it's not a good idea really .. did leave me with a bit of a dilemma .. but think it's best to leave it .. she did sound ok .. but to be honest that doesn't mean anything. Guess she could hold things together for a little while and I don't want to get involved with any more games at the moment .. she has kids .. the kids need help too .. especially the oldest one last time I heard but she could generally hold things together outside the house then change indoors so it wasn't going to happen.
Suppose I have to just walk away .. tried to help but it was impossible in the end because of the games she was playing with everyone. Because of the booze I guess. Was sad though.
Anyway going to put dinner on now .. oven must have heated up.
But I am kinda coming round .. the fear and sadness is wearing off for myself .. it is a horrible thing though. My brother accepts it .. surprizingly because of spirit .. he's had a couple of OBEs as I've mentioned before so he knows that the consciousness can appear to leave the body .. didn't like them but that's different from having had the experience. I am surprized by how he seems to think now though, Most of my other friends seem to've been a bit like me .. a few days sadness then coming to terms with it all and thinking about it away from the sadness and panic. Ofcourse there's the sadness of being parted from loved ones if anyone does pass over but that's different from the other fear.
I was wondering how Gordon Smith was thinking about it .. if he's for real I expect he'll be rather like me .. if not .. well, who knows. Must read his book .. I've read a number before and, on the whole, don't expect this to be all that much different. Wonder if he'll mention this town in it again .. he has in two of them. I remember the pleasure of picking a couple of his books up cheaply at The Works.
Guess I really need to catch up on my sleep after going all those 24/48 hours stints without sleeping at all .. well, if I can. Just taken my evening pain relief so I should be in bed by 12 I've dozed a bit today again so resting's ok .. but I do need to have turned in by midnight,
Tomorrow I expect I'll have taken the news in and be back to my own self as usual as far as the life after life thing goes. Will be sad in general .. but hopefully people will be ok. Shame that governments weren't ready. They were talking about getting the face masks ready years ago .. guess it got back shelved. As for getting the anti viral drugs back into production .. they are at the expense of winter flu jabs I think and it's fortunate that one chemical doesn't take a year to develop anymore.
E has been totally caught out now .. well, we already had the info but she hadn't done it publically .. the woman I mentioned before found it ..lol!!! So just as well she carried on her detective work. Her memory is going to pot though and I do suspect, in the evenings, that it's helped on by a glass or two of wine. It's quite possible that she thinks it's helping her .. opening the blood vessels .. but it is making it very obvious. Very sad.
Through what she found I also discovered more news about my old friend .. the alcoholic that my brother thought might be starting to suffer from early onset wet brain .. she spends most of her day in bed now .. just gets up when the kids come home from school. Very sad .. was wondering whether to get back in touch with her .. but guess it's not a good idea really .. did leave me with a bit of a dilemma .. but think it's best to leave it .. she did sound ok .. but to be honest that doesn't mean anything. Guess she could hold things together for a little while and I don't want to get involved with any more games at the moment .. she has kids .. the kids need help too .. especially the oldest one last time I heard but she could generally hold things together outside the house then change indoors so it wasn't going to happen.
Suppose I have to just walk away .. tried to help but it was impossible in the end because of the games she was playing with everyone. Because of the booze I guess. Was sad though.
Anyway going to put dinner on now .. oven must have heated up.
posted by Zeb at 11:01 AM
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