Hmmmmmmm

Still haven't started my book .. the Gordon Smith one. Once I'd've been burrowing through it as if there was no tomorrow .. literally!!!! Well, I guess I would. Think I read three of his before settling down around them. They were the first medium type books I'd read and I was quite interested as two of them mentioned here .. well, it was the same incident .. one referring to the location by the town name, the other by region. Found them in the works and then discovered he was soon due to visit here .. didn't go .. wish I had now. He did some book publicity in Coventry .. I was offered a lift to the first one but I decided not to go. As I said, wish I had now.

Still believe the three things I mentioned before .. but more strongly now .. all three things. I'm happy about it overall .. but saddened by something on a personal basis. Something happened that's associated with my experiences and I have to decide where to go from how things are at the moment. Actually, I don't really .. she's kinda sorted that out for herself unwittingly .. though she doesn't know it at the moment .. and there ain't nought I can do about it.

Actually, that's rather cool!!! It has. to a degree, been taken out of my hands unless I really go out of my way to change things that I really don't want to. So, it's no dice really and, in the circumstances that seems fairy nuff.

And it is kinda illustrating what I was saying about people viewing their experiences through their own morals and beliefs. I was a bit perplexed for a few hours but I'm not now .. bit saddened though I guess.

Anyway, see what happens. She'll still be able to make choices though .. but it is rather sad .. not quite sure what I'd've done if the matter hadn't more or less been taken out of my hands. There really is very little I can do in the circumstances so changing the situation is upto her I guess. It's not 100% that way but more or less, and. in my state of health and the situation, it puts it a bit more on her rather than me .. so we shall see.

I will probably talk it over with a few people too to get their perspective on it but I'm pretty sure they'll think the same as me.

Though her selfishness gave me something in the knowledge line that's very precious to me .. but that knowledge also gave her the chance to show to me how selfish and manipulative she can be. It's a strange situation.

Best to just let things mozzie on I guess. It'll be very interesting to see what she does. I will chat about it to other people though. Have already but that was before today when things have moved on another step. The reaction then was .. "Stupid ******." I think it'll be even more so now.

Oh well ..............

We'll see what happens.