.....

Still ... page by page!!! The last guy whose books I said that he didn't give everything out about his personal experiences either. Well, there's so much out there that you can keep them as your own valued experiences can't you and there's still enough for everyone to read.

I think everyone has them ... but some people just let them go. I found out back in my 30s that the next stage will go if you ask them too. Well, I was so scared I didn't so much as ask .. as tell in rather blunt language after coming home one day ... just a wee bit frazzled.

So ... I probably did believe in something .. or, at least I did by the end of those few weeks .. and I wasn't pleased .. at least not at what was happening. There I was just a pottering through life and then ......... it started to change direction .. and not at my request!!!! But went back after the hissy fit blown when I arrived back home that day.

Um ... "go away" ... I said.

I've found out since then that what I was experiencing isn't that unusual as being something a person notices first. Well, I've come across three people who've experienced more or less the same. My experience back then makes me wonder now just how easy it is to stop it ... possibly unwittingly too ..... just by a reaction.

I'd've thought that if I'd thought about it properly I'd've wanted to be able to explore. Somewhere along the line I must've realised that something was going on by how I responded.

Anyway .. talking about things last night and the availability of material just like my experiences out there and the authors .. if it just HAS to be yours .. regardless of how personal .. then it's forraging for gossip. Different if you're talking to people you know and trust and who know and trust you.

I've given a few of mine out for people so that they won't be scared if something like that happens to them. I have to say that I'm someone who doesn't hallucinate generally .. and if I did anyway .. what I saw was rather different in as much as there were facets to it that I couldn't place which were very obvious. I was wide awake when I saw it .. and sat up while it was still there. I felt quite ill for about a month afterwards and very, very tired. It's something I would rather didn't happen again. And .. to be honest .. I don't think it was the start of an out of the body experience even though I know of one person who had one who too saw colours that she didn't recognise and who had no way of describing them because there was no comparative knowledge in her brain. There was more than that though .. more that I didn't recognise and now have no way of really

I have got someone quite close to me who's had an out of the body experience and disliked it intensely .. just wanted it to be over. Think I've mentioned it a couple of times .. therre was nothing much to it .. I've heard that fear can stop an OBE pretty much in its tracks. Which is reassuring. I wouldn't mind now anyway.

I've spoken to one person whose had a NDE .. pretty emotive experience as it happened in childbirth. What she had to say was pretty much what I'd read about other people .. though very much on the short side. Like most other people who've had this experience it changed her outlook on life profoundly. Though she was pretty cool before and had guided herself through some very hard times.

It's interesting.