A latish zzzzzzzzzzzzz

I finished reading the autobiography while my internet service provider was down. I was still left feeling that the incident in Italy was the worst .. if she read it right .. it wasn't hands on like the other abuse .. I'll go back to read it again .. maybe I'm reading her wrong .. but then why mention it. Maybe she's as confused as I am. I presume she spoke about it with her mother. It was the openess about it that got me .. just what was going on there??? With what she was experiencing as a little girl there was no reason for her to think otherwise .. and finding out about her mothers family history later on would have made it even more concrete in her mind.



I will go back and read it again. As for the rest of the abuse from babyhood upwards ... I can only assume that there was some kind of network out there where knowledge was passed on between these people .. something she says makes me wonder if there was some kind of ring involved. But, then again ...... who knows.

Moving on .. to after she'd left home .. I probably used to see her around. I remember the squat in Nursery Road .. I almost dropped the book .. figuratively speaking when I read that .. I used to think the women there were really right on feminists/lesbian feminists .. you know the scene .. and I wished I knew them, It was the house about two minutes walk (at the most) from the back of Marks and Spencers, on the sports centre side, if you turned up that way instead of going along towards the Post Office.

I'm sorry to say I changed my mind after hearing one of them being incredibly nasty .. totally unnecessarilly. There were two women, I always thought they were going out together .. though I may have been wrong. One was very tall with shortish brown hair and the other, about 5' 6'' .. had longer dyed black hair, usually wore a line skirts and quite a bit of make up and jewellry. It was the taller one who was being so nasty .. the other one, to her credit, didn't join in, but, even so it kinda put me off the place. It was just being nasty for the sake of being nasty and I just disliked her there and then .. not the other one though. So .. they weren't all right on. Dunno if the author knew these two or if they were before or after her time there. Maybe they didn't live in that bit .. I think there might've been a lesbian/feminist house on the otherside of the road at one time too .. but they did go in and out of the other place.

Reading that brought back some memories though. Dunno if the mural right at the top of the street right at the top on that other little road was there then .. must've been I guess .. think it was all about the same time. Last time I was back it was still there .. though had lost some paint.

As for the spiritual side .. we all have different spiritual guidelines I guess .. I'm not one for astrology/past life regression and things like that. I remember Rodney Bewes in the Likely Lads had a line once ..something like .. I don't believe in astrology .. capricorns don't .. something like that!!! Well, there u go!! lol!!!

I firmly believe this is just a stop on a journey and that love is the answer.

I found her dismissal of mediums rather strange considering she employs a number. From what she says in the book you'd think she wouldn't incase she encouraged her clients to be rather depressed .. I found that rather strange and rather self contradictory. From what I've read people like Gordon Smith can give others the freedom to live their lives more hopefully. They are there to try to give proof nothing else.

I've spoken to students on the psychic phone line .. it was a number of years ago when I was going through a rough patch and phoned one up out of curiousity one day and got talking to a someone who passed me over to a college who was a psychology student .. we had quite a long talk about what was troubling me at the time .. he was quite knowledgeable .. and sparked an interest off in me too .. but it also opened my eyes to the psychic lines.

But, having said that, I did talk to a number of people who were really interested in this kind of thing when I went back to do a bit of research on them .. it was part of their lives. But, again, I met people who just about knew one end of a tarot pack from the other .. and I met a few game players par excellance if you know what I mean.

I said when I was blogging about this before that some of the people I spoke to had done counselling training and things like that and I thought that they were very good at what they did.

Anyway .. go off and get my Fortesip now and do a few minutes more meditation.

There was a book on yoga in the league of friends bookshop in the hospital today. ... Unisex yoga .. wasn't everything then .. I just knew it had to be a seventies book ... yoga for both men and women. It wasn't bad though .. but I thought all yoga was for both men and women!!! Didn't buy it .. came back with a book about the changing seasons in the year .. didn't look at the date .. maybe a 1970s book too .. an observer pocket book about trees .. I left the seaside one there .. and a book of legal jokes .. by that I mean .. judicial jokes .. um .. legal humour .. you know!!!

I still have a suitcase full of legal books here .. gave a few to the Oxfam bookshop here .. the guy said he'd sent some to another shop but the ones that had been put out here sold .. I still pop in there though not very often now. I have the books I'm happy with while I'm still here.

There's still quite a bit of movement in my muscles .. my hand actually froze around my mug today because the muscles there had moved to a new position and I couldn't move them again for a while. I don't know how it's going to go.

Anyway better go.

And .. yeah .. we get on fine now. Life changes .. neither of us have the slightest idea what will happen in the future except being in each others lives as friends will be good. In reality it might alway be in different countries .. the conversation goes on and on. We've known each other many, many years as I said before with a gap in between.

Anyway .. off to sort out me Fortesip .. have to stay up a bit longer to fit me meds in but there u go.