Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh .. well .. off to bed now!!! I fell asleep here again last night and I know it wasn't good for me. So .. off to get some sleep.

I feel so relaxed tonight .. don't now why .. possibly because I know I'm heading off for bed at the proper time. Have been in quite a bit of pain though today. Was going out to eat but changed my mind .. I think I'm training myself back into some kind of better eating ... can't wait til I'm making me one pan meals again of lentils, tomatoes and spinnach .. the spinnach will be great for me because of the iron too .. with a bit of bread to go with it all.

And maybe a mug of hot chocolate. Does chocolate have iron in it .. I have some recollection .... but, maybe that's just wistfull thinking.

I have a large bag of butter beans to start soaking bit by bit as soon as the urge gets me .. lentils, butter beans .. doesn't really matter which .. and some millet flakes!!!

I haven't felt so tired the last two nights .. though the sickness and pain has been a bit on the rough side today .. didn't go out. Think I've had a bit of a cold and that can make you a bit achey .. think it's just tenderised the pain that's already there a bit.

They can't really put the pain relief up anymore at the moment as I'm taking a gram of morphine a day plus other pain relief. It's a lot.

Still following the blog of the guy who has cancer that hopefully has gone into remission. I haven't contacted him cause only family and friends are writing there. I just want to add my best wishes but maybe I'll leave it, I have so many good wishes on one part of the net I'm on and it's cool .. I have trouble writing to people to thank them .. but I do .. and I just thought it'd be nice if we went over to wish him the very best too .. we seem to have quite a similar outlook about our illnesses. But then I've often found that those who are really having a hard time have a pretty good outlook on life, Not all the time ofcourse .. but, quite often. Best wishes are being sent anyway I guess .. but it'd be better if he knew about them!!! Anyway, he's still in remission .. whoot!!!!

Still reading the book .. it's a sad read .. but, only one bit has come as a shock to me .. and that's where she describes a scene in Italy as a little girl when they visited there .. and I'm not talking about the storm.

Our beliefs are very different. I keep on coming across people who think that we create our own next life while we're here. Well, keep on, is a bit of an exaggeration maybe, but more than I'd expected .. and from what people have experienced it does seem a possibility. All of it is just trying to make sense of the little people seem to know. But, going back to Dr Moody's books in the 70s that was the impression I got there too. I've little doubt that we do go on to something .. though I've been pushing the idea away again a bit the last couple of weeks. No fear though. Because I know they can't be pushed away really I guess.

As I said .. our beliefs are very different ... I don't believe in astrology, pastlife regression, cosmic ordering and things along that line. I know that the readers on phone lines are often trained up not just in reading but also in how to keep people on the phone for as long as possible .. but I met a couple of people who were there .. as I've said before.

I believe we all have pointers along the way ... cause I can't believe that some do and some don't and it's what you do with them that makes a difference. I've heard stories from very down to earth people which seem to suggest that some very young children seem to have some form of instinct sometimes .. well, ok .. not instinct .. they know!!!! But, as I said, I've been going through a phase of pushing things away a bit. Even though to do so stops things making sense!!!

I hope I get out tomorrow evening ... but I probably won't .. and, no, I'm not taking my b vits yet!!! But I have the honey patches thanks to the nurses at my GPs, and prior to that, the nurses at the hospital, and I'm told they seem to be doing a good job already!!!!!

Haven't meditated yet today. Off to do that now. Found a Richard Hittleman yoga book in a second hand bookshop in Warwick on one of my hospital trips. Took me back to me yoof!!! Though it wasn't the book I had.

You only have to read the book I'm reading now to know that things weren't a bundle of laughs then .. she's younger than me .. but going back further they weren't a bundle of laughs either. I'm glad she made it through.

And then to sleep .. cause that's what matters .. though I still don't feel as tired as I have been doing. Must have me Fortesip too.

Now .. Fortesip, meditation and zzzzzzzzz!!!!