Sunday
After finishing the bit on meditation I meditated for half an hour .. think the most I've done for years!!! Just clearing my mind .. think that will take a while .. so, if that's all I do from the book it's great. Hope I'll keep it going now .. might try another five or ten minutes before bed.
Right, better go and do me meds. I'm going to have to have another chat about pain relief. I think the bugs have made me a bit more tender ot something .. or I might need a change from the morphine for a while. Probably a bit of both .. mainly the latter though.
There is an irony in this in a way .. I believe in life after life so think there is a reason to continue through this .. lol!!! As far as I know everyone I've met who believes in life after life feels this way. Though, having said that .. I appear to be terminally ill and I know that, if the pain did get unbearable, and, I decided to go to one of these clinics, it would be almost the same in time relatively speaking .. so I think that I'd be fine with that. Just my beliefs again. Anyway, without modern meds I wouldn't be here at all now .. so I think, if the pain did get that bad I should be allowed to say enough is enough because it would be unlikely that things could get any better and I wouldn't have too long to go anyway!!!
You know I never did get to chase that doc up who said that nobody should be in enough pain to make them consider going to one of these clinics .. suppose I should start thinking about it.
From what people have told me I might have to consider mixing synthetic opiates in with my morphine for a while until my tolerance for the morphine decreases and they can start uping the dose again.
Very slowly decrease the morphine and putting something else in its place for a while until my tolerance decreases and then we start the whole procedure over again it seems.
I was discussing the woman who refuses to take ANY pain relief because she's afraid of what it'll do to her body with someone .. so she can stay awake for 3 days on the trot and just kind of dozes here and there when she does sleep. My friend said he thought that the damage she's doing by not sleeping probably outweighs what taking enough pain relief to at least let her sleep would do .. she won't take sleeping pills either. She has lupus .. another auto immune illness which they think can be caused by solar radiation. Maybe lack of sleep isn't letting her really think this through very clearly.
Me MST has taken the edge off the pain .. but it's bot as it was before .. sometimes I wonder if the day would be better with lots of oramorph rather than the MST and, just have oramorph in the evening .. but they have a 12 hour release formula .. so, how things are at the moment, it wouldn't be possible. There seemed to be a feeling that the MST was physically better for me than taking loads of oramorph anyway.
ght .. gonna start thinking about going to bed.
Right, better go and do me meds. I'm going to have to have another chat about pain relief. I think the bugs have made me a bit more tender ot something .. or I might need a change from the morphine for a while. Probably a bit of both .. mainly the latter though.
There is an irony in this in a way .. I believe in life after life so think there is a reason to continue through this .. lol!!! As far as I know everyone I've met who believes in life after life feels this way. Though, having said that .. I appear to be terminally ill and I know that, if the pain did get unbearable, and, I decided to go to one of these clinics, it would be almost the same in time relatively speaking .. so I think that I'd be fine with that. Just my beliefs again. Anyway, without modern meds I wouldn't be here at all now .. so I think, if the pain did get that bad I should be allowed to say enough is enough because it would be unlikely that things could get any better and I wouldn't have too long to go anyway!!!
You know I never did get to chase that doc up who said that nobody should be in enough pain to make them consider going to one of these clinics .. suppose I should start thinking about it.
From what people have told me I might have to consider mixing synthetic opiates in with my morphine for a while until my tolerance for the morphine decreases and they can start uping the dose again.
Very slowly decrease the morphine and putting something else in its place for a while until my tolerance decreases and then we start the whole procedure over again it seems.
I was discussing the woman who refuses to take ANY pain relief because she's afraid of what it'll do to her body with someone .. so she can stay awake for 3 days on the trot and just kind of dozes here and there when she does sleep. My friend said he thought that the damage she's doing by not sleeping probably outweighs what taking enough pain relief to at least let her sleep would do .. she won't take sleeping pills either. She has lupus .. another auto immune illness which they think can be caused by solar radiation. Maybe lack of sleep isn't letting her really think this through very clearly.
Me MST has taken the edge off the pain .. but it's bot as it was before .. sometimes I wonder if the day would be better with lots of oramorph rather than the MST and, just have oramorph in the evening .. but they have a 12 hour release formula .. so, how things are at the moment, it wouldn't be possible. There seemed to be a feeling that the MST was physically better for me than taking loads of oramorph anyway.
ght .. gonna start thinking about going to bed.
posted by Zeb at 1:35 PM
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