Differences

I've posted this on a board I belong to. I'd mentioned the incident that started me really thinking again away because it just annoyed me so much and started me thinking about what I was doing. Also my signature brought it home to me that I wasn't really doing anything much about these problems and I feel that I should.

This is what I wrote.

I wasn't sure where to put this topic but I'll put it in here because it kind of follows on from some of the points raised in the abstinence thread. And it certainly is about raising the consciousness.

My mind has gone back because of the unpleasant racist incident that I witnessed here earlier this week.

I don't fit in easily with society. Partially this is because of my sexuality. I am poly and bisexual and really feel as if there's something missing in my life if I am just with one person. And that's both emotionally and physically. I can love two people at the same time but am monogamous in my relationship if you know what I mean. I don't want two men or two women, or more .... just one of each.

I find myself when I'm in relationships with one person wondering what's missing and then I form an emotional attachment out of the relationship though stay physically monogamous.

With the right people it makes for good friendship and quite a relaxed time if you're happy like that and jealousy doesn't creep in. It doesn't for me because I'm happy with both people and find that kind of bonds all three people together.

Providing you all get on!!!!!!!!!!

I had relationships like this long before I would admit that I was happiest this way. It took being left by my girlfriend of the time, because she said it was obvious to everyone that this is how I am, for me to accept it.

I'm happy with being like this. To me it just seems really nice as it involves all kinds of friendship and love in a lovely way.

I don't even understand what jealousy is in this kind of setting providing it's a healthy relationship.

But, the incident the other day just brought the outside back into my head again. Seeing someone abused for being a different nationality. It was an unpleasant incident, though no one was hurt, though they could have been.

I just don't get why people have to do this. What goes on in their heads.

I am white, though have other ethnic origins. But, I know the colour of a person's skin isn't really the focus as Irish people used to get a lot of racism here, and it can be directed to Jewish people too and others.

I just felt sickened by what I saw and have been thinking about people's differences, like sexuality and race, and knowing there's a lot of others as well, and the stupid dreadful way other people will behave because of them. It's so cruel.

I just wish that cruelty is what people would question but so many don't.

Blogger is all over the place again.

Anyway as posts aren't posting on the blog I was writing on this morning I'll carry on here and just say that the problem was easily sorted out.

Cry Freedom

Read this too. Infact I could write quite a lot on the topics in todays BBC's magazine but will prudently leave it at these two.

Cry Freedom

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4905628.stm


It's about the psychological effects of being a hostage. I was never a hostage in the true sense of the word. Just a captive for a little time with my life at risk on two occasions. On one occasion I was in the process of being killed when I was rescued. I can remember exactly what was going through my mind at the time. Virtually never think about it now though.

My first reaction was surprize was that it was actually happening. You know it's difficult to comprehend that people actually will go through with it. Survival was on my mind but there was little chance of escape, and as I saw it, once what was to be the final attack started, none at all. Still the thought was there for a while again in a thought or two. When I realised that there would be no escape I felt sadness for all the things I wouldn't do that I wanted to and the people I wouldn't see again and how they'd cope. Surprizingly I wasn't in any pain though I ended up badly injured. Don't know why but I figure they hit something that controlled feeling or pain in my body. I really don't know and no one's ever told me. But I do know that other people have had similar experiences, Donald Campbell being one. And I've met someone else who felt no pain after being badly injured. I never thought to ask if she'd felt any pain at all, because I felt none at all. It must've been a lucky first blow.

I was rescued, which was beyond belief, I'd reckon within seconds to a minute of losing my life. I don't know but things were getting to a stage where it wouldn't have needed to go on for much longer. I was still aware of what was happening.

After a few thoughts of grieving for the things I wouldn't do and for people I thought I wouldn't see again and realising that I wouldn't escape I relaxed totally, slumped into a relaxation in body and mind and just thought sadly, oh well.

Seconds later I was rescued. I was glad then that I was still conscious as I saw the faces of the guys who were there.

How did it affect me. Well, apart from having to cope with getting my injuries sorted, on the surface for quite a time you'd think nothing had happened to me. (The month's drinking followed being injured some other time) I carried on with quite a few aspects of my life. Didn't even think of hiding away with my injuries, infact rather the opposite. I was lucky though because I knew people who'd been through similar experiences and I didn't feel anything but my usual self when I was with them. They just treated me as me. And no one was fazed by the extent of my injuries, sad about them, but I was treated as usual with no one even seeming to even notice that I was rather different from how I had been. We talked about getting it all sorted out and things. And people touched me lots, hugs and back patting etc.

On the surface I was just myself though I was obviously having to cope with the injuries. I know it would have been very different if there had been any pain. But, no pain at all. But I know inside that my attitude had changed. I'd experienced a lot of life and seen a lot too and had kind of filed a lot of it away in my head to call on if it was needed but this did change me .... for a while. I became much more insular. People were wonderful to me on the whole and that saw me through a lot of it because that stopped me becoming too suspicious of people, though later on I went through a period of not liking being touched which I knew was related to what had happened, but that has gone, again thanks to other people.

I suppose because I was only to aware that events like this happened I wasn't as traumatised as I would've been if I hadn't been prepared to some extent by experience.

One thing it's left me with is empathy when I read about similar events. It's easy to relate to in a personal way because I've been there. Having said that I realise that everyone's different though I also know that there must be some common emotions.

The spiritual journey

Blogging after reading this on the BBC site.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4903424.stm

I suppose this has been brought up because it's Easter time which at least for Christians should be a time of thinking. Though it depends on how they interpret Christianity how they will interpret any Easter message.

Quote:

We're losing our sense of spirituality,which doesn't necessarily have to mean a belief in God. What it does have to mean is that there is more to life than material values. We're reluctant to talk about the human spirit, a process which began when the Enlightenment shook traditional opinions about Christianity.

Well, to start off with I find blanket looking at religion as having anything to do with spirituality. The amount of cruelty that has resulted from religious beliefs is so high and that kind of behaviour has nothing to do with spirituality at all. Any doubt I had about anything like this, and I had virtually none at all, maybe even none then, was totally lost when I read the excellent book A History Of The Trial, where religious cruelty was well documented.

Ofcourse being a woman and of an alternative sexuality has left me with nothing about scepticism and cyncism about the foundations of religion. I know not everyone belonging to different religions is closed minded and some are more accepting and loving than non religious people. But it still doesn't change the fact that most religions have part of their base well founded in hatred and othering other people to the point of ostracising and at times to death. And spirituality isn't even considered while these religions consider the people they are hounding or saying are less than equal to other people on the point of gender or sexuality .... or belief.

I read in A History Of The Trial that a whole village was burnt down in Germany because the people there had embraced what was seen as the wrong branch of Christianity by the people in power.

Spirituality? I think not.

I agree that spirituality is seeing more in life than the quest for material wealth in various ways. It doesn't have to exclude earning a good salary but there has to be a spiritual life enfolded within it.

Praying and performing various rituals is to me outside of spirituality if it doesn't involve a kindness of heart which in some ways trickles out into society.

Strangely I agree and disagree with this article. There is a lot more acceptance of people's differences these days than there was at a time when some people might consider society more "spiritual". It's about seeing people past the colour of their skin, past their gender, past whether they are heterosexual or not etc. Past a lot of things.

If you don't I guess you are practicing something like blind hate.

But at the same time there is definitely a feeling that what matters is social position to the point where designer clothes became almost a badge of acceptance in society and individual creativity was out of the door and mostly rejected.

I think that advancement of ideas is a good thing. Though science has us in an unhappy position at the moment. If spirituality was more advanced we could probably tackle the situation because we wouldn't be so scared about what might happen if we were left without the money to keep society stable or to protect ourselves from other regiemes.

Bird flu

I have to say that reading a report where a scientist was saying that he didn't think that bird flu was a threat/much of a threat to human beings probably didn't do the viral angst I was going through at the time an awful lot of good.

Ofcourse this was just one person's view and other scientists feel differently about the threat

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/health_medical/article357007.ece


As I see it that facts are basically that other known pandemics have stemmed from bird flu viruses. This new(ish) threat is a very dangerous virus that is showing mutations and is now spreading. No one can possibly know just where the mutations will take the virus but it is not showing signs that they are making it less dangerous.

There is a danger that close contact with infected birds or any species that is infected with the virus will spread the virus to people. The danger of a pandemic will come when someone who contracts the virus also has a flu virus and the two viruses merge into a new flu virus that will be able to be spread through coughing and sneezing between people.

This has happened before the start of other pandemics.

If there was a lot of data to show how long and in what way the older viruses took to mutate to become a virus that was capable of starting a dangerous pandemic then there might be more room for complaceny. But even then each virus is going to go ahead with its own system of mutation.

It's true that this present bird flu virus might not become the cause of the next pandemic. There is always the possibility that it might mutate itself into something harmless or that because of the low rate of transmission at the present that the mix of it and a flu virus won't happen. The later is just down to luck. There is also the chance that the mix of flu virus and bird flu virus won't be as dangerous as feared. This is an unknown.

Complacency isn't possible in the situation as it is. It is known that the situation that there is at the present has started other pandemics off. If there is a problem the resulting flu virus will gradually become less and less virulent over time but will cause problems to start off with as it will be a new strain of flu virus that people haven't had a chance to build up immunity to.

The sensible thing to do is to prepare for what history has told us might happen.

Hour to hour in Bagdad

"I used to live from day to day, now I live from hour to hour because I don't know what will happen next."

Bagdad resident Sawsan Al Sayyab

40 minute RNW programme,

http://www.radionetherlands.nl/features/amsterdamforum/090406af


It is obvious that the terrorists are trying to stir up hate between different groups in Iraq through violence. The most likely reason is to gain power for themselves. Everyone is on edge now, including the troops out there which is ofcourse part of what the terrorists are aiming for. But, if the troops leave there will be less security.


Quote "The security is the first priority for the people."


It's an interesting programme.

email warning

News item on BBC site.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4864072.stm

Or if you don't want to click on it at the moment Google BBC news and go to the technology leader page and read the article. People are sending out e mails with a fake BBC address that will take you to a malicious site which will install a piece of software on your computer if you use IE.

The BBC news site address always starts with

http://news.bbc.co.uk

and any individual news item starts with

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi

Bit aggravating that Microsoft are waiting til April 11th to supply patches for this problem. The article says that two other firms have already developed and are supplying patches.