....................

You do just have to love Google Translate though, don't ya!!! This isn't a funny example but I liked it cause it said """"" once said ... Yeah .. Nietzsche once said "music is the art more direct, enters the ear and goes straight to the heart."

It's the guy's first post .. I think he's part of a group of people though .. a club maybe. Might stay around for a while and see what happens.

Will have to cut down on me blogging too though .. been doing this when I should really be concentrating on other things. Will still blog but not quite so much.

I think just a bit of reading and writing in the blogosphere will be good. I know I'd really like to add a couple more on to read .. as I'm eating breakfast and can only read. Have never liked just reading one .. I'm not counting those by people I know .. much more fun to find three or four that I like and read them every few days or so. Shame so many don't stay up for long.

I suppose people just get bored.

I'll be searching for new blogs through the next blog function at the top of the blogs I think. I found me first new one off of Blogger while searching for something completely different but Blogger'll offer some good ones too so might as well stick with them .. I think. Maybe I will go off site though as some of the other sites tend to have more personal ones .. more to do with a persons emotional life. I suppose they're more diaries really. I've read some brilliant ones. Since I've been ill it's not always them that's vanished .. I have occasionally too and haven't found my way back .. have forgotten blog names after not reading for a while. But, lately, it's been people drifting away to other things.

Yeah. I might look round some of the other sites too I guess. Choose 4 or 5 that I really like. Reading them's a good way to start the day.

New blogs

I think I'm going to be happy with my new blog. There's a lot up there and hopefully he'll stay up there for a while .. seems to enjoy doing things on the net and I think I'll settle in comfortably enough.

I'm very curious about the Japanese cat one .. it seems a lot of fun .. and. yes, it is tempting!!! Oh, Google .. sob .. I guess with a bit of effort I could work it all out. And, I might .. well, give it a go anyway.

Though maybe not. It looks a good blog.

I found one about childrens health and dental hygiene too which I liked .. that one was in Spanish. Google translator was my friend. No, I tell a lie .. it wasn't to start off with .. it kept on calling me a robot and refusing to do anything. You could almost feel the hissy fit. But I tried using it from the toolbar and it changed totally .. no problemos and very fast.

There are stacks of great blogs out there. Always are .. shame they often don't last long.

Sleep and meditation

I wish I could sleep better. Generally I sleep for about 5 hours day and night .. if I don't sleep at night I make up for it during the day but, apart from a day here and there when I sleep for hours and hours and hours .. and there's not many of those .. I don't sleep much at all.

So, I guess I have to go back to meditating which is the nearest thing you can do to mimic sleep because of the brain waves it produces.

I used to be able to meditate easily but now I find I start thinking about things and keep on having to banish intrusive thoughts. But I love the feeling of relaxation and calm it gives . I've sighed just thinking about it .. a deep relaxed sigh. Relaxing the whole body.

Hmmm ... lovely.

I know some kinds of meditation don't suit some people .. but I'm not sure if this means that it's just some kinds or if it's meditation right across the board.

I know that when you first start it can be a bit disappointing for the first few sessions because you can be a bit twitchy .. but this is just tension leaving the body as the mind learns to relax.

Fortunately I'm well past that now. Though when I started again that I was going to have to learn again but it was ok .. except that I do get distracted at times .. instead of letting go I find myself becoming deep in thought and have to clear my mind again.

I can go into very deep relaxation though at times. It's a very nice thing to experience. It doesn't necessarily happen through relaxation. W.J Ousby's relaxation method was a good way into it. He learnt it from someone else .. can't remember who .. and I know it's quite a common relaxation technique these days.

Meditation does affect the brain differently from sleep but, apparently, it can rest it and this can help if you haven't slept well.

I do meditate a little and really love it but I'm just not doing it often enough and I do tend to just think .. oh I should do some meditation and go straight into it .. not possibly the best way though I used to find it easy enough to slip into when I wanted to .. maybe I will again but not at the moment .. will need some more practice.

Decided what to do

I'll probably get it sorted out in the next couple of weeks .. once it's done .. it's done. It is a fascinating story and perhaps it would make a good book .. but I'm honestly not sure how I could turn it into a book.

It's not suitable for a blog .. needs to be explained and put into context by people who work in the relevant field.

I've decided who I'll contact now .. some people who are total sceptics. Though to be honest I'm not sure they are actually sceptical about things like this .. more on the entertainment side of things maybe.

All I'll be saying to them is .. it's very strange that this should've happened and it doesn't seem possible that it could've all been by chance. There are only a couple of things that aren't in that line.

And I'll tell people who research these things.

There's lots of information out there already.

And I'll just add my contribution.

I've other things to do and will go back to doing them.

Think that's fair enough.

I'm sure they'll be available in studies etc for people to read if they want to along with other peoples experiences. Mine will be there with other peoples for those who are interested. Just as others are now.

I think that's the best way for things to go.

So, as far as the blog goes .. the subject has come to a close .. as I said earlier it's not suitable to be written about out of context like this .. and it will be up to each person whether they want to learn more .. as I said there's stacks out there.

I do!! And I know there's heaps to read and learn from.

I think NDEs will be a good place to start .. have heard about two peoples experiences from them .. both made them very happy .. and one similar thing that is often documented .. from someone else, along the same lines, when they were very ill.

I've met one person who had things start off much the same as mine did to start off with .. though she went with the flow and didn't utter my immortal words ,, though funnily enough we both reacted by going off to the same group of people .. they weren't really what I was looking for .. though she is very nice and they suited her. I guess this is all that was going to interest me along these lines. Mum was much the same when she wondered about life and the universe etc.

I think most people will agree with me that it's best to look through things that are part of the knowledge out there rather than just a blog.

2

It seems a shame that people are losing interest in science .. but I suppose the list of things to study has grown a lot since I was young.

Languages too have lost their popularity. Apparently politics went out of fashion in the 1990's. I can remember it slowly becoming less and less of a talking point.

I think a lot of spirituality seems to be centred around things like cosmic ordering .. which I've never been interested in .. and don't believe in. I just get on with things .. I'm sure if it did work it would be scientifically validated by now!!!!!! It must be easy enough to prove.

I wouldn't try it. I tried one small insignificant thing along those lines just to test out something .. and .. naturally it didn't work .. lol!! I guess people who advocate this kind of thing would say it was because I had no belief in what I was doing. I would say it was just that it didn't work. I suppose many, many people tried it out .. it was in a magazine and out of the 100s more likely 1000s that tried I think 2 people had written in to say that it had worked which is probably below the level of chance.

I never have believed in things like that though .. have tested it all out twice .. both on insignificant things .. and zilch!!!! Once about 30 years ago and once about 6 months ago.

I've read boards where people started out believing in it but after a while changed their minds.

Things like that don't work for me or anyone I know.

And, as I said, if they did, it would've been big news. My how that would've changed our views on things.

***************

Sometimes Google translate just isn't enuff!!!!

http://hatchan-nikki.cocolog-nifty.com/blog/

blogs, blogs and more blogs

Then .. found a few from Brazil .. and .. THEN .. a vegan cooking one that's just started up!!! Think I'll keep on popping back to have a peek at that one.

Wednesday

Found me new blog. Never got round to reading the list of blogs people liked reading but I think I'll just stick with this new one for now .. there's lots to read .. going back to 2003!!!!! So should keep me occupied for a while!!! Along with the other things he's got posted round the net.

Science

The number of people of people taking a level physics dropped 38% between 1990 and 2005. It's as if the interest in science has waned and is on the way out which is strange as the minds behind the creation on line community will be people who were interested in science at school. No scientists would mean no computers which would mean that life as we know it today couldn't exist in the way it does. And it's not just home computing but the running of hospitals and other major institutions that would be so different.

If there's little or no interest in science .. given up in favour of the arts, I suppose, there's no interest in the universe etc or how we got here or anything in that line.

Britain would be worried if the interest waned further as there would be fewer scientists in the UK and we live in a world dominated by science and technologhy in human society. To be honest I thought it would've gone the other way and as science became nore and more part of our lives the more interest there would be in it especially since the 80s as it became more and more obvious that we needed to explore greener ways of living.

Now a days science almost seems to be an archaic word!!!!!!!!! Soooo weird in the middle of a society so dependent on it and one that needs to understand the universe to be able to create a greener life for things like manufacture, travel and heating. for all the expanding population of the world.

As I mention every so often it was two scientists from the UK who fortold climate change way back towards the end of the 19th century if we were to live in an industrial world.

It's not just that side of things but there's a chance to explore the laws of the universe as we know them. And it helps me have an interest in what has happened in the latter part of my life .. just find it something else yo explore .. though it's probably the the thing that's made me the happiest .. being stuck in the middle of this .. gives a lot of meaning to the rest of it .. makes me super curious .. if this could be true what is the meaning behind the rest of it ,, we have no idea because it's something that appears to be unanswerable at the present time. Not the universe and it's laws so much as going beyond that to why anything exists at all .. and how possibly could it.

Everytime someone says this is why this exists there's always the question .. why should anything exist .. any atom .. anything. How come there's a place for this to be.

I suppose science has created a society where other things that have been produced from it seem more interesting. I have to say that the sciences weren't taught in a way that was very interesting when I was at school .. they were very dry and, like a lot of school in those days seemed very removed from real life and work.

Ah, time to do something else ......

......

Ofcourse I said I was only a sort of Buddhist because I didn't go with the reincarnation part but I was happy with atheir philisophical outlook. Didn't believe in life after death then. Am still attracted in the same way that I used to be though.

beliefs

I used to say that I was a sort of Buddhist of I had to align myself with any group and that I belonged to the philosophical side rather than the religious side as I've mentioned in the blogs a few times .. mainly because I was a vegan though have become a vegetarian after a longish stay in hospital when my illness made it rather difficult to eat the bean cuisine offered there.

I found quite a lot to connect me to the religion. I don't know much about the Quakers but have never forgotten the serenity the lady at the hospice shop in Old Town had in the face of a very difficult time ahead .. absolutely amazing.

And now of course, even though I am not totally a part of the religion I still am quite happy to think about and interpret the 7 principles particularly .. well all of them I suppose .. the ones about the eternal progress of the soul which I extend to all life and I've seen enough to know that the religion does too and the one about personal responsibility which I believe in .. we all do things that are wrong .. however small .. but it is up to us to take personal responsibility and to learn from it . Compensation and retribution doesn't include a hell but I'm not quite sure what retribution does entail .. I think it's something to do with having to take personal responsibility after passing over with full knowledge gained through the process of what people have been known to experience in NDEs quite often, I just see those experiences as a bit of a hint .. the going through the review these people often go through.

It's just putting two and two together and possibly coming up with the wrong answer ... lol!!!

Also the continuous existence of the soul .. again applied to all life .. as the church obviously does do going by the actions and beliefs of its members. And the unity of human beings .. and the existence of spirit,

A kind of translation from the Victorian writing they're written in. Lots of people translate them into a more up to date version these days.

I think they're quite a good window to view life from and that they stand well whether you belong to the church or not.

I will probably read through more about the Quakers .. the woman was amazing. And will go back through the Buddhist principles. I don't meditate enough still.

Though I do keep a journal .. lol!!!

http://penzu.com/content/health

Though I don't think I want an increased immune response with the present illness I have!!! Let's just hope for better immune functioning if I look after myself properly by keeping my energy and protein levels where they should be.

A walk on the beach

A friend of mine went to an annual dog walk in Belgium yesterday

http://users.skynet.be/fa507989/zhwinfo.htm

He had a lovely time there .. sounded such great fun.

On me way

I've decided what to do now .. best to be brief and to the point to begin with and just ask if they're interested. I know that on the study side it is interesting and does add a lot of information though as a novel it would be very boring.

I have a list of people to contact both academic and on the general interest side, I also have questions of my own to ask.

It's going to be hard work and, in some ways I'm in two minds whether to actually do it or not. Coming to the end of my life and the people who've helped me along the way have some knowledge .. as much as they want .. as I've said some are just happy to accept it cause I've explained a little and that's enough for them .. probably not as much as has been up on the blogs and the bit that was on Empower for a while .. Feminist board .. now gone .. but usually just about very general things .. more was discussed in private but eventually it faded away. There's been plenty on line.

As, I've said, people work it through their own views on life and get different things out of it.

And there is enough out there .. the more work you put into it the more likely you are to start to find a basis for your own beliefs and reasoning. There are no quick routes. Anymore than you can know anything for real with just one piece of information.

Still, I will get this sorted out .. either meself or one of the people who knows quite a bit about it.

Best to study things that have been documented and then go on from that as a base. And, if you don't want to know .. best thing to do is ignore it just like you would anything else you're not interested in. It is complicated so there's no reason why you should have to make your mind up about it if you don't get involved in the study.

Monday

Ah. the first university is interested in the things I have to talk about and does group them under the psi heading .. it's very different from the psychic things they test though .. that seems to come from the person .. while what I'm talking about is from outside .. from what I see as spirit .. from .. over there.


Have felt a bit too tired to go for healing etc but will potter off soon .. I miss it all because it kinda grounds me I guess to be with people who are meeting because they have similar beliefs.


Got to get things in order and sorted out anyway.

Back to the drawing board

Anyway .. I agree with the quote and I think that it's good to plod on fearlessly in the name of truth and reason. I just 100% disagree with his idea of truth and reason.

And if the stories about his private life are true what he's said makes him out to really have problems. What about his own children.

And not so much of a scholar either .. if he couldn't guess why some people have darker skins and some lighter after seeing peoples skins tanning and losing the tan in and out of sunlight I'd say he was rather slow at making connections.

He was a hupocrite but if you take away this fact .. he said some pretty neat things about freedom etc .. it might just have been a politician's rhetoric .. and speaking to those who would be thinking about colonial freedom and who he needed politically on his side .. it would certainly speak to them.

He didn't apply it through his actions to other people.

Hmmm .. hummph ... hmmmmm

........

And as for the rest .. the first two letters are in the post ... posted last night and on their way

.........

Well, we shall see. I hadn't read that bit before .. had got as far as the amulgamation part and pottered off to other pages cos I was so stunned. I really didn't think that I would hear such utter ludicrous, vile, stupid, etc stuff from someone who is said to be a genius.

He had plenty more to add to .. and contradicted himself on some of the better things he said if it actually suited him to do so .. i.e made his life more comfortable.

I'm still shocked to be honest.

Still. there were very good people around to oppose his views as history has shown

Oh dear

OK .. this guy had many problems about inclusion .. everyone that didn't include him was an outsider in his views.

He wouldn't've liked me. lol!!

E wonted awl that lernin fer imself .. no wimmins eever.

More research

I guess some people who've been following the life after death posts will know exactly what I'm talking about because they'll have followed what I'm saying and will have followed it up .. if you have it's not something you can miss.

I think I'm just going to go on the premis that it's a mistake .. the quote itself is so relevant .. I thought it great when I saw it which is why I went to look the guy up on Wiki .. I just knew the basic facts about him which people know from history lessons .. what a shock .. and it got even worse as I read more and more!!!!

I was left in a kind of stunned shock.

I have more research to do .. and letters to write. This is just something I never thought would be part of this.

It must be a mistake

Lovely day again. Went to sleep down stairs and then slept in to half twelve so I'm not complaining!!!

Thrown me medication out a bit but it's only the slow release stuff really and I don't think that matters too much .. I'll keep on altering the times by an hour or so until it's back to 7/8 o'clock.

Still thinking about that site .. I'm sure it must be some kind of mistake .. otherwise it just doesn't make sense. The quote itself is brilliant .. in context of who said it, it changes though. I though it wonderful until I read his page in Wiki and then it all changed.

Anyway .. there are a lot more organizations on the universitie's lists .. both the academic one and the independent one. I might go to the university anyway .. their field of research might be a bit broader than just psi work. Fraid I'm just not psychic .. lol!!!

I'm sure it'll be of interest to all concerned .. as for the other place .. the quote by itself is great .. unfortunately the person who said it had big, big issues though.

It shocked me so much though .. especially after reading around the net. Shows how strange people can be though. I suppose you have to dismiss the speculation about his private life if there are any doubts about it .. just probably isn't good enough .. but if it is true he is a very cold fish indeed.

Veering towards the psycopathic in personality.

I think that the quote is meant well .. but rather unfortunate in origin.

......................

It makes me feel very uncomfortable but there is the possibility that the person just doesn't know .. people can be lost in their world of academia to the extent that something like this could have passed them by I guess and they would be horrified if they knew. Even though you'd expect them to know .. but it is possible that they don't.

Problems

I;ve been left in another quandry .. this tine I think it might be naivity on the person who did it .. but I'm having trouble connecting to people who used a quote from someone well known, who was a racist. about his studying and learning.

I didn't know .. different country .. knew of the person .. and went to Wikipedia to find out more and was left stunned. First of all I thought there must be a long time between the quotes .. two years!!!!!

But still he is famous for a lot of things and it could just be naivity on someone's behalf. No one knows everything and I'm not sure when all this became big news or who set the website up. It's very complicated as the person the page the quote is from has passed over.

It's all very strange and I'm left quite stunned not knowing quite how to take it. The person the quote is from didn't seem to benefit from all his learning.

I'll ask other people what they make of it. It's very strange and I wouldn't've known if it wasn't for Wikipedia .. well, that led to reading lots more on the web.

I son't know quite what to think .. I'll talk about it a lot and see what people think .. guess it's going to stun a lot of people though.

It's so odd. I mean this is something I do find weird.

Really doesn't make sense.

I would never've known if curiousity hadn't led me to Wiki .. but I'm from a different country which makes it a lot less likely that I would know.

I kinda keep on hoping that this is a mistake .. but I know it isn't.

.......

Went food shopping .. the first time in two days. He's not too well now and not sleeping .. always sleeps as if he's just dozing anyway but it's been worse since he caught this chill. I think your s;eep can often get a lot lighter as you get older though.

I really miss the days when I slept for eight hours on the trot more or less every night regardless.

Someone said You make me happy while I was out.

Ah .. one of "the ten" ... lol!!!

Glad I know.

I know that it's the same people behind all this ... they've come out with some new crap it looks like which means ........ leave em tuned in I guess!!!


I suppose I set meself up a bit .. talking about life after death . At least I can't do that again .. already done it .... lol!!! People can think what they like. I'll take it through the proper channels,

They did, ofcourse, change what they were saying here and there all the time too. If it was just one or two .. OK .. but there were so many of them.

Anyway .. leave it there. There are better things to talk about.

Other things

Anyway .. on to other things now. The rest will be taken care of through the right channels. Obviously there's no choice.

But, I'm getting on with me languages and doing my artwork for lemuure.

Need a new computer though .. this one is totally on the blink and my own isn't much better .. a friend has volunteered to type up my longhand stuff and put it on disc so he's looking through a pile of paper at the moment. Heaven knows what he thought when he saw the muddle .. but still. My handwriting isn't too bad but I have written on a lot of different paper.

He says it's worth it for the laugh.

I prefer to write longhand anyway .. lol!!! It seems to flow better from the mind for me than using a keyboard don't know why. I've heard other people say that too. Guess you can kind of pause and dream more along the way. I think Joanna Lumley is one.

At the moment I'm doing my dutch and arabic and doing manga and other cartoon work drawing animals.

People are suggesting using them for all things.

I hope this is encouragement for other people who are ill.

I guess my belief in spirit helps too. I hope too, if it helps, that you can see through the strength it gives that I must have a very strong reason for thinking it's true. I hope that the strength it gives makes it easier to realise that I'm not kidding.

Legality

Anyway .. will be contacting various people about this. And other stuff too obviously. Nothing more I can do.

Obviously won't be writing about it here cause some of it might be sub judice eventually as things progress.

Anyway .. on to other things now, I know exactly what lines I've got to take and it'll all be done .. well, the first part, within a few days. I do have advice and help

And I'm going by the proper routes.

..........................

And while the way I was treated there was appalling .. it wasn't by everyone as I've said over and over though I was told how unfriendly the place was by quite a few people. But there were some kids who tried to stop it.

It started when I described my tote bag after being out on a walk with a friend .. the blog was all about green stuff and a bit about me. Mainly about mum who I'd been there looking after while she was very ill.

Best to tell the truth. Then you don't catch yourself out.

And I give respect where it's due.

1st port of call

Right I've started doing something to get this sorted out. There are plenty of avenues to take. If it had been left I would have left it too .. but not now.

Everyone had a chance .. cept me .. who's perfectly innocent in all this. So, I've nothing to worry about.

I don't like bullies and two faced people so it can all come out now.

When I arrived in Brixton I was told to fuck off etc by people who didn't know me so obviously some people in Leamington .. those who'd been bullying me for years while I was looking after mum and then ill .. most were nice here for a little while .. then when I said about staying here or not or not and also said that I was going to the universities it all really started up again.

So, I have no choice do I but to get this sorted out as publically and legally as I can.

It's obvious from what I've said that they know it's lies .. gave them that chance but there you go. So now it has to go to other places. Another amazing story. The bullying was very extreme which is why they've behaved like.

But then that's onvious, isn't it .. cause none of it makes sense otherwise.

I really don't give a shit anymore and there are people I can contact about this to help out.

And why did things here change both ways so quickly. People are trying to cause trouble and it needs investigating. Couldn't have given any more chances than I did.

I haven't done anything except stand up for myself and other people in the same situation.

..........

It's a lovely day again .. though you can see it's autumn .. beautiful though.

I have lots to do and enjoy doing it .... sometimes it's hard to navigate round the health problem but I've plenty of inspiration and knowing that spirit is with me helps a lot. Kind of puts everything into perspective.

Anyway .. better get on with things.

Slept well?

He's got a bit of a chill now .. think I'm OK. Sneezing used to have me in hospital cause the sneezing set off spasms which got stuck .. agony didn't describe it. But the muscles moving little by little have eased that.

The sneezing still hurts but just for the sneeze because it pushes my ribcage out and that is painful .. well, sometimes .. depends on how big a sneeze but there aren't any spasms any more.

Anyway .. will soon have to hand computer back soon .. will fetch me own now the routers here.

Wasn't going to bother here as computer was having problems and there wasn't a connection for mine but as I'm staying for some time seems pointless going backwards and forwards.

Thought there were more hiccups last night so let my friend sort things out here end .. but turned out they were soon put right.

She's started a blog off too so there you go .. have a new one to read. But I also have a list of ones other people have found interesting which I'll have a look at ,, from the conversation that made me think about finding a couple more .. it's much better reading a few than just one.

She's smart too .. said to leave everything for a few weeks and see how things go. On the skin side .. shame it didn't go quite as I hoped .. but was much better than it could've been.

Better go and drink the protein mix I guess ..as it's just pulses guess I should make sure I have a piece of extra bread or something too. I've been told to eat quite a few calories so that my body has the energy to mend too .. so protein mix .. that's low in calories for the amount of protein and a slice of bread too. The protein drink is now a mixture of soya and pea protein. Couldn't stand the taste of either by themselves but they taste fine as a mix .. well .. there're ok.

Bedankt .. ik hou van jou

Goedemorgen.

Heel van liefs

Thankyou .. I love you

Good morning,

Lots of love



Hoop dat je goed geslapen.

Hope you slept well.

Noise

Should have gone to the police in Leamington shouldn't I really. Well, they are far worse than even I thought.

Wondered if the anti social behaviour reported here was to do with that .. letter through door .. but guess it's just noise from the pub again.

I've written quite a bit about it myself but have other things to do for now. Me friend knows enough to write most of it. Would've just left it .. but ..................................................... changed me mind after leaving .. not surprizingly.

How could they sink so low

http://www.wunderground.com/wximage/viewsingleimage.html?mode=singleimage&orig_handle=BoazR&orig_number=3740&handle=BoazR&number=3746&album_id=548#slideanchor

Back on line

Anyway, that's sorted out now .. just a case of when computers go bad but we're back on line now and the router is here too if I wamt to go back on line he. Thought things had gone wrong again last night but just a blimph. .

Have got to get in touch with St Thomas too and tell them I'm here. They have a speciality unit for my illness there and do know me as I managed to make it down to see them once before the illness suddenly took a turn for the worse and have arranged a couple of appointments when I thought I'd be down before. As I've mentioned before there other treatments but I don't know if I'll have them .. it seems the medication has got my immune system under control but I'm not responding as I should so guess something else is up too. Remember the lady who had MS here .. saw her fella the other day

Maybe I should up the protein again but there's only so far you can go with that .. I'm sure they'll come up with some ideas anyway.

Waves at me brother .. need to phone him today as well as the hospital. Speak to you soon Nigel.

It's the skin version of rheumatoid arthritis .. another anto immune illness .. horrible but that's how things are and I'm not too worried .. as things go .. the illness is horrible but I can cope .. not physically at times but I don't have trouble with knowing my body has gone wrong. There're a lot of auto immune illnesses .. when the immune system becomes over active .. think multiple sclerosis has now been proven to be one too.

OK

With a slight problem but it's alright now.

Goede nacht slappen. Dank u voor alawys wordt er voor mij. Tot straks.

Well, sending the thoughts out as she knows. And, it's great cause I'm learning at the same time.

Good night sleep well

Thankyou for always being there for me.

See you soon

Well, hope I've got it right!!! Helps to translate it just incase. ...... I haven't ... lol!!!

Yippee!!!!

Oh, changing the instructions seems to've solved that problem this time .. didn't last time I tried it. Well, hopefully it has .. lol!!

After the first try will just have to see what happens I guess .. looks as if it will be ok this time though. Tried it earlier on with no luck but looks as if things are ok now.

??????

Before I go could you email one of us if you know how to stop automatic updates installing something it's downloaded. I've changed the settings back from totally automatic updates but after this was downloaded.

Off to bed

Have not been checking spelling etc, Ah, Alan's the neighbout who's been here the longest .. giver of potted plants in his time .. everyone else has passed over.

He used to be interested ..well, I guess he still is, in the history of the area .. and he told my friend who told me that Ferndale Road used to be called Sheep Lane and that they used to drive sheep up it towards Clapham Common. Don't know where from. Think he had the original deeds to the house which was built in the 1860s.

Anyway .. off to bed.

See you soon honey.

part ?

Ah, it was Sid next door. Doll asnd Charlie had a stall down the market but Doll lost both her legs after, she thinks .. can't remember all the details, gangrene set in to one leg .. was an amazing woman though .. used to cook, clean etc .. had very strong arms. They belonged to a family who had a lot of stalls in the market .. the Butchers .. think that;s what she said ... lol!!!! Probably still do.

part 2

Oh and the lady next to the Italian lady who's name I can't remember and the bloke next door .. Jim .. no that was Santley Street .. wasn't it!!! lol!!! Sam? Well, it's getting late and I didn't know these people. Ah, Joy I think was the lady's name .. she said it was one that suited her personality .. though I expect people'll remember.

As far as I know only two people are still living in that bit of the road now from then. She said one family had gone back to Jamaica to retire .. were building their own home.

I think there were more too but I talked about my neighbours too and I really can't remember everyone's name.

But I think I got Joy right .. can't think of another twinkly, laughing name.

History

The book is coming along very well .. and she's getting on with hers too .. two too which is neat. I'm writing about her mum at the moment .. life can be hard but it seems it all works out in the wash I'm pleased to say.

She's sorting her work out and getting stuff ready for the universities. She says that should be for free initially so it's going there first before she writes about it. It is important and therefore it'll be free.

She'll be staying in London for some time .. in her house. It's sad .. most of the people that were there when she moved in have passed over now .. I think only the Italian family moved .. can't remember their names .. but the others have passed over .. except for Marian .. well, it's unlikely as she's a lot younger than me friend. Everyone else has gone except one.. We were talking about them yesterday. She lost her best friend to breast cancer when she was 55 .. then Charlie and Doll from the market .. Emi who married into June's family during or just before the war. Waterboard who worked for the waterboard.

Then there were the people who moved in .. but the street had lost it's group of people who went back so many years and some who were related to each other and who knew other people rather than the people who already lived there and there was no time spent with each other any more. Like the stories of old.

brixton

I used to live in Santley Street back in the 1970s and then here .. have known Brixton longer than the majority of people here have been alive I'd guess. Expect lots of people will remember Jim and Vicky and the kids.

Will leave it there asked me friend to tidy it up .. spelling etc and post later.

............

I suppose a lot of people know exactly what I'm talking about over the life after death thing. Just wanted their own beliefs and experiences confirmed once more.

I know .. for sure that not everyone who says they do .. does .. usually with ulterior motives .. sometimes unpleasant .. and a lot of people keep it all to themselves but know a lot .. probably more than I do ... generally because it's part of their private personal life.

There's so much stuff out there on the topic though. It's not as if it's hidden away or not being discussed. On the TV. the radio, in books and on the net ..............

People generally have a view on the subject .. though, as I've discovered, it's not always the one they say they have. Ususally they'll say they do when they really, really don't act as if they do at all ..and generally it becomes apparent that they don't. People who really do usually won't lie but will just be quiet about the subject.

Anyway .. it's been out there for a long time and the research has too .. so what I'm saying is hardly new. Just someone else's experiences out there. And, like most people, I've become pleased about them.

Which they will be eventually .. though some of my friends might do most of the work.

Obviously I know people in the science world .. though not this part of it ... lol!! Wasn't really an interest of mine .. though things have changed .. but hopefully the other interests will take up more of my time soon. There just aren't enough hours in the day .. and what seems like 5 trillion books out there.

I do wonder if the learning is available over there too .. it's things like this that perplex me .. music, art, science .. things that I like here .. will they be there too? All this makes me feel like one professor I was listening to who believes the same that I do .. I'm not frightened by death but I'm still a bit apprehensive because it is the unknown. Like me, he wouldn't be at all surprized if there was something.

I don't think about it much though .. more than I used to .. even when I've been close to dying before it's not something that has worried me or even taken up much of my thoughts .. think once or twice I might've spent two or three minutes thinking about it .. but it's generally not something I've thought about.

Think I'll just potter back and see if the people discussing their lost blogs .. the ones they were reading have come up with any new ones. One person had lost every blog she'd been reading since she'd been on the net. Some had gone private .. not sure if you can do that on Blogger .. don't think you used to be able to but I think they changed that a year or so back. That's happened to me a couple of times when I've been reading .. didn't ask if I could read afterwards either time.

More blogs??

I've followed quite a few blogs over the years .. got to know a few people through a diary site .. where I thought I'd set the diary as private .. started it a few months ago .. and hadn't .. someone eventually replied and brought a couple of other people along who now read here as well but we talk on the diary site.

They know a lot about me .. lol!!!!!!!!

Oh dear!!! lol!! Could probably write a reasonable biographical account of parts of my life.

I'm glad though .. it was a nice way to get to know some really nice people.

Wasn't quite what I was expecting but it's worked out very well.

I read other blogs/diaries on the site and had been for quite some time but most I've read over the years, that haven't been written by people I already knew before reading them, have closed. Not surprizingly it turns out .. statistics say that 60% to 80% of blogs are abandoned within a month. I don't think that's surprizing but it can be a bit disheartening if you've been reading for a while and blog after blog just dries up. I don't mind how long they've been going but it can be sad when a blog you like suddenly stops and the person never writes there again.

I don't read blogs I don't like very often .. and usually give up on them after a while .. there're only so many hours in the day and I prefer to spend them with people I like one way or another .. but I've often felt sad when people I like have stopped writing. But life changes and they go on to other things.

I rarely comment on the blogs I read if I don't know the person .. only a couple of times .. and not on this site. One was in a pretty raw situation and we've become and stayed close over the years. The other time she didn't comment back to the people who wrote in her blog .. guess she just lost interest .. it was another one that closed within a month. Don't know why she left comments enabled really .. quite a few people did take the time to write for the first couple of weeks but were never acknowledged and then the blog itself dried up too.

Anyway .. think, when I feel more like it etc .. I'll do a blog/diary search again. Or, maybe someone else'll find someone new anyway .. but it's been a long time since anyone I know has added new blogs/diaries to their list apart from our new friends who read my indepth diary a few months ago .. lol .. and very glad they did too. Lovely people and fantastic blogs.

Bit of a cold

Got a slight chill at the moment .. nothing heavy but I'm not sleeping too well.

Feeling a bit better now so guess it's on it's way out though not quite back to me usually crappy state!!!!!

..Written yesterday.......................

Ah .. there are lots of places to go to .. some are just about research while others are more informal and are there for people who are interested in these kind of subjects.

Ha!! Maybe I should potter off after James Randi .. this is away from research. He's always looking for a challenge .. but that's taking it into the realms of entertainment.

Have only just clicked on the more informal list. I'm not really interested in psychic phenomena as such .. though would be interested to read the results os studies I guess. I'm definitely not psychic. In an on line conversation with quiz I came last when we were quizzed about our beliefs as far as our psychic abilities went .. and this was just an average cross section of people. I was quite surprized by other peoples results .. but there you go ... lol .. looks like I don't have the psi factor going for me.

I don't think I've ever known when the phone has rung .. unless I've been expecting a call .. and, even then I've got it wrong sometimes cause someone else has phoned before the person I'm expecting ... lol .. who's going to be on the other end of the line.

No good at dowsing .. don't remember my dreams.

But .. never mind.

Anyway .. there seems to be plenty of places for people who are interested in things like that.

Having said that there've been one or two places that have made me go a bit fuzzy inside .. though must remember that I definitely don't have the psi factor!!!! lol!!! .. maybe they won't be suitable .. but I did feel the people would be interested even if it was outside of their field of inquiry.

I feel better about it now. I know that other people will sort things out if need be too .. friends who know enough to give the right idea of what it's all about. Not all my friends know that much .. some accepted it hardly knowing anything .. just because I'm their friend I guess.

There are people who certainly don't can't believe in life after death .. and I suppose it's generally not something you think about in times of peace for most of your life. I would think it's something that people think more about over the age of 50 regardless of health .. even with the prospect of many years ahead on the earth plane.

There is a chance that I'm wrong ofcourse .. maybe the planet has decided to practice it's evolution skills on me .. after all I am getting on a bit now .. just testing them out rather than trying to achieve anything ... lol!!!

After all it's more than very difficult to know how the whole process began that ended up with existance as it is .. going back past the creation of the universe. It's all so complicated and, ofcourse far "weirder" for all this to exist than it is for a tiny little extra step to mean there could be a soul.

But, ofcourse, I must've got that wrong ... lol .. it is naturally much more straight forward for creation to seemingly have created existance .. not talking about the universe .. but existance of anything as a whole .. rather than once anything was here to happen at all .. pre .. pre universe etc .. for there to be life after death .. doesn't seem much when you look at what has already happened.

OK .. how does something seemingly exist like this .. why should it etc .. those questions that buzz round and round scientists minds.

Bit more complicated than for things to happen because something is here.


Even so, it can be difficult to grasp .. whatever happens that this could be the way things are .. especially after a long time believing the opposite .. well, generally speaking .. on a conscious level anyway.

The Quakers

http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/subdivisions/quakers_2.shtml

That's opened on page 2 .. on the beliefs page.

Miss her

I know some lovely people. Was very sad that the Quaker woman who used to work in the hospice shop in Old Town had left. Well, she was ill last time I saw her and I knew there wasn't much chance that she'd still be there. She had a nasty illness too sadly and I loved her so much for her serenity in facing it.

I'm not sure just what being a Quaker entails .. I know it's not just about being a Christian and there's a lot of contemplating and .. I believe .. meditation. I believe the word "God" can be interpretted in different ways as it can in some other religions too .. but I might be wrong on that point as far as the Quakers go. They also believe in peace and freedom of religion.

I believe it in their case because their beliefs are the kind that can easily encompass that .. I've sadly had the experience of sects saying they do but, in reality, this isn't the case and there can be some pretty nasty underhandedness if another person's beliefs are at odds with theirs. I know this can just be the fault of a few people rather than the whole sect but sometimes it does seem somewhat more.

As far as the Quakers go .. knowing there'll possibly be one or two people who don't uphold all the core beliefs in the group .. I believe that they really do believe this.

I will never forget her serenity .. something else I've picked up along the way that's nice.

.............

There are lots of things I want to find out .. lots and lots and lots ... lol!!!!!

I think I know for sure that there's a continuation of the soul .. and that love is the only answer there .. but I've said this before a number of times on this blog.

!!!!!!!!!

But .. there are still umpteen things I want to know. The more I think about it .. the more questions I have.

A lot are more social science type questions .. though I;m curious about research.

I'm pretty sure that I've chosen the right place though there was a slight hiccup this evening but after thinking about it and doing some research I'm OK with my decision again.

Now for people I don't know who are reading this all I can say is go off and do your own research .. it's what I've been saying for ages .. and just like I really mean what I've been saying about life after death .. I mean the same about this .. and if you believe one then you'll believe the other .. if you don't .. go and find something that you don't think is a load of rubbish. Wipe it off your history and spend time reading about music, art, football, clothes, whatever.

I mean one just as much as I do the other .. there isn't any other way round it which is why I've kept on saying it. Don't rely on just one person.

This is about the soul .. not about anything else.

The words spirituality, soul, kindness, open mindedness etc are the keywords. Not that anyone's expecting perfection cause none of us are .. but they are the type of words that should go together along the journey.

And as far as believing just my experiences without finding out about other peoples wouldn't be very sensible really .. just on the say so of one person. It's all out there .. mine was just rather intense I guess.

What I've said I've said to make it easier .. hopefully .. I'm not spirit so what do I know .. lol!!! in my opinion .. for people to have an understanding that could make it easier to find out in a way that they'd feel some sense of fact about it .. if that's what they want.

and onwards

Ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!! All for science .. huh!!! Still on we go. The first part is over for me .. and, sadly, I don't think part two is part of the schooling down here regardless of health or other possibilities.

I do believe from what I've experienced that my suppositions are right about how the feel of things is over there though .. but that is my belief .. everyone formats there own if they believe in the soul I guess .. some are related to religion .. some aren't.

There's one thing I wish I knew .. and there's no way I can .. because I only really have personal reference to my own life .. and, to a lesser degree, to my friends. But hopefully I'll get to know what the scientific community's understanding on this is. At least I have something to start a discussion off .. or one of my friends can if I'm not really up to it.

Anyway .. on to the scientific community.

What was the organization

Have had a look through the Koestler Institute's web pages and it's not quite what I'm looking for. It's not connected to the people I was once interested in contacting with much the same name. They have either closed down, changed name or amalgamated with someone else. I can't remember which country they were in now though I think it might've been one of the Scandinavian countries .. they were just interested in synchronicity from what I can remember so it's possible that they were just a short term set up I guess and might've just been a small study group.

Anyway, after trying to find them again I have decided on at least one reputable organization to contact. Got a bit more reading to do myself .. though think this will be the right one.

It's all very interesting .. and I know, that despite everything, that I still have a lot to find out and learn.

Tuesday

Got up quite late this morning .. don't usually sleep much but last night must've had about 9 to 10 hours sleep. Not going to complain .. lol The last hour or so had just been drifting in and out of a kind of doze but it was still extra rest. The last hour had me dreaming about the Jerusalem lemurs .. don't usually remember any dreams at all .. well, maybe a couple a year so it was interesting to tune in again. It's been a long time since the last dream .. and, even when I do remember them when I wake up, they usually soon slip from my memory.

Anyway .. suppose the rest did me good. Don't want to sleep in like that too often though.

Have meditated this morning as well.

Monday

Today has gone so quickly .. think my cold's on the way out .. or colds .. think it might've been in the plural. They weren't too bad but did leave me quite tired. I was resting up quite a lot of the time.

My muscles are still moving .. it's such a slow process .. but the night before last when I lay down .. which stretches everything out .. I was really wheezing as my lungs got used to breathing in more air. I will be really glad when things have moved on a bit more though it is much better than it was to put it mildly.

Ouch .. just moved some back muscles slightly and it's time for the next lot of pain relief. My doc did mention the Pain Climic so I think I'll ask if she could follow that up.

What is difficult too is having these feelings of quite intense pressure as my breathing tries to move my muscles etc as things slowly loosen up.

I'll be interested to see how far this will change .. it's been such a slow process though does seem to be speeding up a bit now. Still quite a while to go I guess before things get really noticeably easier I guess. On the way back from Clapham the other evening there was a bit of a drop down one side of my body which made getting back rather difficult but I wasn't too far away and things had eased up some as I walked .. not too good for a while though.

Right off to get the meds.

Just have to keep trucking I guess!!!!

....

Now I'm going to make some language cards to go with today's words!!!

Healing

I guess I'll get it sorted one day .. it's just rather daunting .. going into it all especially as I am ill. Going back, the healing thing does bother me .. it's not the first time this has come up in the news .. I remember because it surprized me a bit .. I'd've thought that people who went for healing would be interested in their health and healthy living .. but there you go.

This is the most recent BBC link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/8250320.stm

It's not just healing though .. can be politics too surprizingly. Someone I know knows a young guy who was diagnosed schizophrenic not so long ago and he was encouraged to stop his meds because people said it was "the man's" .. society's way of controlling you. He stopped them and became ill .. is back on them and ok now.

I'll still go to healing but I'll look after myself too. I do believe that the positive effects do hekp the person, where it's possible, to heal .. after all placebos have been proved to help in some medical cases so I'd expect a belief in healing to do so too .. but it helps to follow medical advice as well. Guess I think researching for yourself doesn't do any harm and talking to the doctor about it if you have any worries.

Hello and goodnight

Was talking to her tonight and she'll get in touch with a couple of the universities .. it's the only thing to do really isn't it .. benefits both sides I hope then. Shame that illness has been the catalyst for all this. She says that really, apart from the ilness side which has been dreadful really, it's been mostly a lot of fun .. they seem to have a good sense of humour over there .. well, guess they've found someone to share it with .. lol!!!!

Well, off to bed now.

I agree with her that after talking about it for years people who read the blogs either know what she's talking about because they've been interested enough in what she's been saying to find out for themselves .. or, they're not interested enough to and haven't .. so everyone now knows more or less what they want to know about the subject,

Well, on to the people who study these things I guess .. and hope they'll have plenty to tell her too .. cause that's what she'd like .. lol!!

Healing

There was an article on the BBC news site a few days ago saying that spiritual healing could make things wptse rather than better mainly because a lot of people who believed in it would rely on that kind of healing in place of conventional medicine.

I see it as a kind of placebo .. without the pills ... that you can use alongside conventional medicine. I may not like some of the medication I'm on at the moment .. the side effects aren't exactly a bundle of laughs .. but I know that the meds are necessary.

Even of the level of diet healing, along with the necessary meds, couldn't help my illness however much my belief in it might prime my body to heal unless I ate enough protein to mend the damage my illness has done to my body, It's physically impossible for that to happen .. even if somehow it leached protein from other parts of my body there would still be heaps of problems.

As for the protein mixes I discovered that mixing two different vegetable ones together made it taste reasonable and I managed to drink it this morning without the usual series of "yuks" round the kitchen .. well, I often didn't get past the first one which would happen round about thinking about taking the lid off the container. I should drink it cause it does make sure that I get the protein I need without having to think too much about it.

Anyway mixed two kinds together this morning .. half and half and it wasn't bad at all. I guess I'll start drinking it more often now then .. like every day as I should. It was difficult before because I really, really disliked it.

Anyway, without enough protein I couldn't possibly heal regardless of how much healing I might have.

And as far as the illness as a whole goes I need the medication I'm on.

Healing can just be something nice to round it off .. it certainly seems to work in an emotional level in some circumstances.

Saturday

Well, will talk to people before I decide what to do with it all .. as so many people have these experiences ,, and, in hospital, I did find people who had, they obviously have plenty to be going on with for now .. lol .. so no rush really.

I just want to have more indepth conversations with other people. There're study centres in lots of places and I'll give them my experiences one day I guess.

There's mounds and mounds of work on this kind of thing though but I guess they won't mind a bit more!!!!!

I think I now where I'm headed to find other people to talk to for now though. As someone said to me last night .. you either take this kind of thing seriously .. or, you don't .. if you do then you'll be willing to put time in to understand where research is at the moment.

It's very interesting ... and very comforting. Have to say that I wasn't very interested once and really thought that it was just there to make people feel better .. I've changed my mind.

I do think it's a serious subject and, if you want to study it seriously, you have to make sure that everything is as it seems.

Have to say that the things discussed in hospital were often confidential so they'll stay with me and the people who told me .. but they did kind of confirm things for me. Outside of the hospital things weren't quite so clear as far as other peoples experiences went.

Anyway .. it should be interesting. There're friends who know a lot about mine and maybe I'll ask them to sort things out a bit for me .. if they want to.

But, as people've pointed out .. there's no rush. I want to get to know more people who have a good grounding in the academic side of this ..and then I'll know where to contact.

A few people have said don't bother .. and, to be honest I do feel that I've said enough over the years and I feel that I want to do other things now though staying interested on a personal level.

And. if people really are interested. that and all the work that's already out there should be enough to start their own journey off.

If they're not then ofcourse they won't be bothered. It's one or the other.

I've said where I've found interesting work but other people will know about things that interest them more in other subjects I guess .. because the personal is the most understandable

I've been very grateful for that .. though it'd been better if I hadn't been so ill .. but there you go.

I hope there'll be people to have interesting conversations with on the subject.

What I have found is that there's no quick route to understanding .. if that's the right word .. for any of this.

.....

Well, knew I had to but I've had so much to do and with having a slight chill didn't really feel like doing it.

It's not really the kind of thing that you can discuss on a blog .. needs to go with other research and be looked into by people who have knowledge of this kind of thing to start off with.

Someone told me when I first became aware of the real possibiolity of there being the survival of the "soul" after death that I shouldn't tell anyone other than those who were very close to me or people who researched into the matter to start off with and they explained why.

I guess they were right so while I can't go back to the beginning I can go to the people I should've done earlier on.

.Started

Changed my mind and have written my first letter .. well, would've just sat round thinking about it and never got anything done.

Friday

Lovely day .. glad there've been such lovely days this September. I'd thought that it was going to be a coolish, wet day because it'd not been that nice when I got up. but it's turned out to be lovely.

Got over to the docs on time .. two appointments and've been on time for both of them. It's not a long walk. First of all tried to book in with one I'd found on the net but who wasn't in Acre Lane like it had said but did get things sorted out in time.

Rather tired still .. keep on dozing off very lightly .. hope this'll be better soon.

cont

Have also picked up quite a few free magazines etc which list things like meditation classes to go to and will look through those .. soonish ... lol!!! I'm being encouraged to join a couple of things like that and I guess will get round to it eventually. Have still got to read the magazine I bought on Sunday before I left. I was late .. couldn't find the place at first .. got off the bus too early and, later on, the street signs confused me a bit cause it looked like the street had come to an end before it actually had!!!!

I was going to go today but decided to leave it til another day .. just missed something I would like to go to .. don't know if people from all over South London go there .. or not. Will find out .. if I get round to going I guess.

Haven't really done as much as I should I guess though am on the verge of sorting quite a bit out that I needed to but had kind of drifted away from .. it's just difficult, while being this ill, to get down and do it.

........

I was going to get in touch with Richard Dawkins .. lol!! But I guess that's not really the way to go. I did want someone who would really be digging and delving .. who I'd hope would have an underlying scepticism so that they would try to prove me wrong rather than just investigate so that the criteria used to examine the facts would be very tough, but that's not really the way to go. I now just want someone who is interested in this kind of thing, has a good background of experience and is interested in the truth without trying to prove any beliefs of his/her own which ofcourse means an open mind.

I think I want to do some more reading and meet more people who're interested first. See how things go. I'm very tired at the moment.

Thursday

Had meant to go for healing a couple of times but had been late getting out. Finally got there on Sunday though .. though not for healing. Very different from Leamington where there's a newish building. I've no idea how well attended it is in the evenings though it must've been at one time I guess cause there was a notice saying there was a library of 400 books .. there's not so many now and the ones that are there obviously date back a long time.

It would've been nice if we'd had a cup of tea afterwards .. maybe there aren't the facilities .. maybe they do in the evenings .. I don't know.

Fortunately there are quite a few in the area .. so there're plenty of times to choose to go. I was surprized by the Streatham one .. the name made me think that it would be quite large but there's not much on the net about it at all .. nor is it included in all listings so I'm wondering if it's a different branch from the main one .. and not very large at all.

I did read about a bigger library you can join .. will have to search again and find out where that was. Would like to find out as much as I can.

Haven't got in touch with anyone yet though have read a little about places to go. I see The Koestler Institute is somehow part of a Scottish university now. I will look around a lot of places though .. not just in this country .. and choose the one which appears to be studying events nearest to those that I'm interested in.

Ooooooh .. er .. yuk

Well, still here .. very tired .. Ive got a slight cold .. a lot of people seem to have it. Have been sorting a few things out.

As I said ages ago .. somewhere on the blogs .. I'd hoped to get well enough to travel a lot further. I'd just have to see how things went travelling this far. My trip to Leicester and back kinda confirmed that travelling anywhere wasn't going to be easy though.

I've held out better than I thought I would .. though there've been problems .. but things weren't as bad as they were on the Leicester trip. My skin broke down badly and I dripped sweat the size of large seed pearls on the way back. It took a long time to recover from the journey there and back. As I said I couldn't understand why an easy journey in a car would do that .. but then this illness is hard to understand and I was very fragile at the time. It took quite a while to recover from the journey. I stayed in hospital for about two months while this was going on.

Things are nowhere near as bad this time .. don't know why there either .. but seems I'm still grounded as far as very long journeys go.

I'm eating more protein .. which remunds me .. I haven't had my protein drink !! Best go and get it I guess.

Yuk!!

Tuesday

She's very tired at the moment might be cause she's been walking more than usual and the muscles on her right side have got rather painful cause they've moved round a tiny bit again cause of the walking and her ribcage has moved a bit with them.

I'm not sure how long it is since the steroid drips, must be about two years .. things were much worse back then and she couldn't walk very far at all,

I think it might be a good idea to do bone density scans if someone has been on high dose steroids at her age .. right after the menopause when I believe most calcium can be lost. She says she wasn't taking extra calcium and mightn;t;ve been taking her vitamin pill or going out or eating foods wirh much vit D in them for a while during the early part of the illness and could've occasionally forgot the bone sparing pill .. the Sunday one. Her muscles would still have tightened up though as she's allergic to steroids at that dosage. An allergy but one worth looking out for during the first drip .. it didn't get bad til the second so it's worth lo0king out for.

Anyway, while she can't get totally better .. things can improve.

And always remember that the bone sparing pills should be taken half an hour before food etc and four hours after it. Don't lie down after taking it and take it with a glass of water.

Sunday

Got up this morning .. da daa da da. Sunday's alendronic acid tablet day .. the pill you have to take half an hour before and four hours after eating, taking medication or drinking anything other than water. Best if you don't take it too near dairy products too I believe.

My spine is always rather painful in the mornings as it and the surrounding muscles have been stretched out over night so I don't like waiting the half hour for me meds on Sundays. Anyway that's sorted now and I've done some stretching exercices.

Have been thinking about the life after life thing. I had decided to leave it but I suppose I should do something with it so I've decided to get in touch with the guy in the university who tested Gordon Smith and see if he knows who's investigating this type of thing seriously. I know it's a bit different from Gordon Smith but it's in the same line as that, NDEs, OBEs etc. Connected to the same subject anyway.

Start off again from there.

Coincidence

Pleased to say that the synchronicity/coincidence thing is still going on .. though it has changed now .. well, there was no way it could stay the same .. but I have to say it ended giving me trhe proof I needed that it was for real. Though I must've put the badgerbears in the wrong bag and left them behind. Not to worry my friend has the ornaments I sent down.

Maybe I should write a novel around it .. the real story isn't very interesting really. Well. considering there's been so much written about this kind of thing and how many people are interested.

I find it very strange. I read surveys that said about two thirds of the population have had this kind of experience .. yet, in reality, it seems .. hardly anyone knows about them .. or, so it appeared when I started talking about them.

The two facts together just don't make sense so I've decided to leave it be as fact .. even though it most definitely is. But with two connecting facts differing so much there doesn't really seem any point in getting involved on the factual side cause there's just no sense in it.

Glad, on a personal level that they seem to be continuing .. there has to be something .. it's impossible for there not to be really. An element of doubt seems ridiculous now. I do have to check up on a date for something .. just to be sure.

Fascinating though.

The mouse

Had a little mouse sitting with me last night after my friend had gone to bed. It was so tame .. not scared at all unless I stamped my foot nearest to it .. then it'd run away for a minute or so .. then come back. I was very tempted to pick it up .. it didn't mind me bending over to have a closer look etc.

I was very tempted to keep it as a pet. I know people many years ago used to catch them, clean them up, and keep them as pets, Read about it in a book about keeping mice .. but it's just not practical as things are at the moment.

Guess the little mouse was getting ready to hibernate and looking for food .. but, if you're not going to keep them, you can't encourage them cause of the hygiene problem. Done it .. know about it. And you can't put food down near mouse holes really cause you just end up encouraging more mice .. and more mice.

S/he was quite a plump little mouse so it's doing fine on the food front.

Goodbye from the blogs

Ah .. just rang up to say goodnight and she says she's just going to work now .. no more blogging. Hasn't the time and isn't well enough to do both. Will get in touch with her friends individually.

I hope you find peace.

And

I'm quite happy to blog for Judie ... lol!!! Just so u lot know she's settling in for a while. She's so tired really. Didn't think so when she first moved down but she really is. Illness isn't that good either. But, there's plenty of time to get better.She's got plenty of work to do anyway.

If I'm copying something I'll say hi as her ...lol .. if not .. I'll write as me.

Her book's almost finished too .. been reading it .. has made me laugh .. but, she's leaving it fer now .. says the next few weeks are just to rest and then sort herself out.

Well, she did the journey .. not quite as well as she first thought. Still, there's a few months to rest up and see how she gets on.

I thought she should just travel as much as she's going to .. but I was wrong. It's a rotten illness .. as someone said yesterday .. it comes to us all .. but I think some people have it worse than others. She's being looked after too .. not too much cause she likes to do things for herself ... lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Knowing her .. She's stocked ushe's probably offered to do the cooking .. though knowing her cooking .. that may be a cunning ploy.

Lol!!!!!!

to be honest I'm amazed she's got through it all .. though I know it's her beliefs that have done that. it's been a brilliant bit about being her friend .. knowing that I know her well enough to be able to know she's just saying what happened .. sad that people screwed things up so much that there waqs no where to go It's interesting cause she's been walking a thin line between this plane and (what appears) to be the next for so long now. I just feel pleased that I can know 100% that she's telling the truth through knowing her so well ((((hugs)))) etc. lol.

She said today that it's sad, that whatever she says, it'll just end up in the pile of what other people have said that just sits there.

I'm going to get some rest myself .. not so young either ... lol!!!

Wednesday

Just been looking out the windows at the wind and rain .. seems as if it's followed me do,,,w.....n in the words of the Golden Animals. Forgot I'd been away for a while .. or was still helping out in the shops .. lol!!!! It would be fun to again but I'm not well enough now.

Maybe I was slightly off kilter in what I said about things cxhanging // well, they couldn't be exactly the same .. no way, but who knows .. maybe slightly ... lol!!!

Anyway, I'm rather tired so guess I'll sign off for now.