Wednesday

This morning was difficult. My muscles had moved a bit overnight again and left me with a lot of back pain. Thank heavens for the oramorph etc. Luckily it was the ind of pain that the pain relief could deal with .. not totally .. but enough. I was taken up to Sainsbury this afternoon and asked the person who took me to walk me out in Leamington first to get a couple of odds and ends cause I really wasn't sure how I'd be .. but I was ok. With the morning's pain you'd think that everything would be sorted out but no it's still just a bit at a time. And I was so tired .. went to check me eyes .. but the irises were fine .. they go very small sometimes when I'm feeling very ill.

Anyway I managed out in town and in Sainsbury so I guess things will be ok. But there was a lot of sharp burning pain as well as the deeper pain .. just sitting up was difficult. Still been here before as me body tries to sort itself out. You just have to go on with things. I've heard enough stories from other people to help and, ofcourse, there's spirit which has been such a help .. just thinking about it all. It's good to know that so many people have them .. I think everyone does .. people don't talk about it much though do they .. and, if they don't .. it could be pushing away by intent or just through not wanting to experience anything like that because of a conflict of ideas and beliefs. I've come to that conclusion just by listening to what other people have said and my own experiences. It's a strange situation though .. but, I expect that every family has it's collection of stories.

I'm happy with my little bundle now. I'll stay with the people I'm with now when I'm back in London .. am very glad that I found them here .. though I wouldn't've thought about going myself I don't think. I'd've said .. not really my cup of tea .. not into things touching on religion .. but it's been good experience. It is certainly the closest to what I'd've liked.

Well, gonna sort some more stuff out .. see how I do .. just taen some more pain relief so that should sort things out for a while. If it's not one thing it's another though .. the cold and now my muscles .. I almost put .. muscles playing up .. there .. but, ofcourse .. it's muscles getting better. But, does it hurt .. but at least the morphine and the rest will help. I was very relieved this morning to find out that it did.