Actually

...... I didn't answer much on the list really and I guess it might look a bit rude. Still, there you go. It was a bit silly to have done it in the first place. Will probably just have confused people now.

Today

Well, was going out today, but woke up in a bad mood and decided not to go. I'd woken up in the night and had been sneezing and thought it was best just to stay around here. Mood's lifted again, just as well really because it wasn't good this morning, but I'm still glad I didn't go because it's been cold today and don't think it would've been a good idea.

I was kind of quiet yesterday too but I thought that was just because I was tired but it was probably down to having a cold. The inflamation's still going down though and things are much better though there's still a way to go.

Filled in some kind of getting to know you thing on a board too. Wish I hadn't now cause they get to ask you questions and I guess I might have to be a bit creative with some answers if anyone asks me somethings. There're just some things I'm not going to tell people before I feel comfortable. Will have to waffle around and try to avoid answering directly I guess.

Still not reading. Did glance through The Mirror and The Times yesterday. Have done some other things but just don't feel like reading through the papers right now.

I am tired!!

..........

Been in a couple of hours. I'm still getting better but today was a lot easier. Muscles are still very stiff but I felt I was walking at a reasonable pace again and it just wasn't so difficult. Bloody foot is still sore though. But at least the part that's the worst affected is in a different place this time so that means that it healed up ok before I guess.

Tired though. I know I'm not going to feel too good until things are back as they should be. Feeling a bit raw but am taking pain relief for it, it's obviously not going to be very comfortable while this sorts itself out.

Could've fallen asleep on the train back. I started dozing off. Had two seats to myself so spread over them a bit and I started to fall asleep three times. I could feel myself going down into it. Fortunately I heard 'em say when we got to my station, though I didn't want to get off cause I was just too comfortable.

Walking back was ok though. And probably for the first time since I've been back going out away from here I didn't innerly grumble on my walk back from the station. Slower than usual but ok.

Anyway, I'm tired and I'm turning in.

Beetles

I've been quite interested in the beetle jewellry in the Chinese shop. It's quite unusual. At the moment they've got medium size beetle earrings in different colour stones. I think they've got them in red, light blue, light green, and black. They've also got a new tray of small beetle rings. They've had larger ones in a different design for quite some time. They have spider earrings too.

I was talking to one of the women that work there about the jewellry and asking if they were popular in China. And, she said, yes.

I know that you can get beetle jewellry here, in the main stream they're usually prettily coloured small brooches. On the more alternative side I guess there's more of a selection. But that's not main stream at all.

When I first saw them I was quite surprized. There's been quite a selection of flying beetles and other beetles in various forms there. And in just made me think of the differences around the world again.

I quite like them, though I did do a bit of a double take at the medium sized beetle earrings I must admit. They're nice, but just not what I'm used to seeing.

Ofcourse what comes to mind first of all is the scarab beetle from Ancient Egypt which was seen as a symbol of good luck, and possibly what the occasional Western beetle jewellry is related too, in thought anyway. I do have a beetle ring which I wear occasionally and I suppose I connect it to the scarab beetle, though not in it's mythological sense. More in a historical way.

The jewellry in the shop has been really interesting. The rings they've had in recently that must be based on more traditional designs than a lot of the things they have in have been fascinating.

I asked too if people there liked wearing jewellry based on designs of animals and flowers. She said yes.

And this is part of the reason ....

And what I've just written about is why when the home were lied about I was there straight away to help them.

Well, much more than just that.

Saw the article on Friday, went over on Saturday to find a very unhappy situation, was back on Monday to speak to the manager to find out what had happened and what the truth of the situation was. I couldn't believe what I'd read because it was in contrast to what I'd experienced there.

When I was satisfied that the article was wrong I told them what the two options were. Spoke to the owner of the home. And we proceeded from there. There was enough documentation to prove the home was in the right, and infact the area inspectors informed the paper that the article was incorrect. The follow up they printed didn't reverse the damage done so further steps could and had to be taken.

The Press Complaints Commission found in favour of the home and they got their apology, front page leader, retraction and a two page article showing the home in its real light.

The care home and medication

I was reading in the press recently that a number of care homes have a bad record when it comes to medication for their residents. Let me say it was the complete opposite in the home where my relative was.

When she arrived there they looked at the medication she was on and had a talk with me. Basically she had been put on two anti-psychotics while she was in hospital after developing a bacterial infection. One was risperidone and there was another which I can't remember the name of.

The guy I spoke to said that he didn't think that she needed that type of medication and that they didn't like people being on risperidone anyway as it tended to make them agitated. The home's policy is anyway to try not to let medication infere with quality of life. They prefer to interact with their residents rather than have them heavily medicated.

I came back to the flat and went on to the internet to see what I could fine out something about the medication she was on. What I found appalled me.

First of all I discovered that risperidone was contraindicated in cases of Parkinson's Disease because it can mimic the symptoms of the disease and make them worse.

Then I discoverd that anti psychotics were best not prescribed where people have Lewy Body's Dementia because they can cause further damage and worse.

I was back over the home in ten minutes and they sorted out the problem quickly.

Strange: or, not so strange: Even with Lewy Body's dementia where visual hallucinations are common, she stopped seeing animals and children around the place soon after being taken off the medication and other things improved as well.

I'd hoped that things would improve enough for her to be able to leave, but they didn't. And I'll never know if it was the time she spent on the medication or the infection she developed that caused her to go to hospital that made her worse.

One of the reasons I'd decided to stay was that I'd had to rush up from London one day because she was ill, paramedics had been called and had recommended that a doctor come round to assess her. She was left in the care of someone who had a mental illness and really couldn't cope with the situation. The paramedics had left around 11.00. I'd arranged things because I couldn't get in touch with her one morning. By the early afternoon the doctor still hadn't arrived and from what I could gather over the phone she was very ill and couldn't get off the bed.

So, I rushed to get a train and when I got up here I found her semi conscious and delirious. The doctor hadn't arrived and it was getting on for five in the evening. Phoned the surgery and spoke to the desk and then to a doctor who had no knowledge of the situation. He checked it out and told me that the doctor the paramedics had spoken to had decided not to visit her but leave it until her own doctor came in the following day.

Just as when she had to go into the hospital before going into the home she'd developed a cold which had produced a bacterial infection. This is common with people in her kind of situation and something like this causes greater symptoms than in people who don't have her kind of problems.

The doctor who I spoke to came over straight after surgery and got her into hospital.

I'd been coming up and staying for periods of time. After that I decided to stay and be there for anything else that happened.

Getting ready to go

I know as I sort things out here that I'm going to go through a lot of memories again. Infact it's already started.

I'm surprized, looking back, that I came up here really. I've never looked after anyone in that kind of situation before. Obviously I've been around when people have been very ill. I've lost a lot of people in my life one way and another. Some through long illnesses. But I'd never been involved like this with someone who was so dependent. I mean, in the end I couldn't cope and she had to have the specialised care the home could give her.

She had advanced Parkinson's Disease and Lewy Body's dementia, a type of dementia that sometimes comes with Parkinsons which is different from Altzheimers. She had scoliosis which I believe was caused by the combination of Parkinsons and Lewy Body's and which became very acute. And she had skin cancer.

Parkinsons Disease

http://www.parkinsons.org.uk


Lewy Body's Dementia

http://www.lewybodydementia.org



If I hadn't come up here she would have had to cope with going through this without much support. She was very strong but I know she was very frightened at times. What she was going through was quite extreme. With Lewy Body's dementia there're often times of clarity too. Along with the times when she wanted to arrange with me to go and rescue Anne Frank. And, when she didn't want me to leave because she thought the Gestapo were outside. And other things.

I could have left when she went into the home I guess. But I decided not too because she would've been virtually alone. There was a reason I why I couldn't move her down to London so I either stayed here or left to face what was coming by herself.

Hmmm

Breathing is just so more expansive now!!

Yeah .........

I didn't realise that this was going to be like this at all. It hadn't hurt when the virus caused this in this way. I just thought it was going to gently go down I guess. I wasn't right.

The foot has kept me in check quite a bit. And, I guess I've learnt to pace myself a lot better over the last few weeks. And cope with it all.

Though today I'm probably going out more. See how I am.

Things aren't too bad this morning.

Flip, last night

Now, I know I shouldn't be complaining. I'm not in really bad pain or anything like that, though what's happening is pretty unpleasant, but last night just got to me a bit. I realised that this isn't going to be easy, that it's affected every cell in my body and I'm going to feel it as the inflamation and stiffness goes away. It's happening so slowly.

Last night I woke up as a whole muscle group suddenly moved. Good news I know, but it felt so strange, and there was the usual accompanying pain, though by the time I drifted back to sleep that had gone and had been replaced by a feeling of calm, probably due to the fact that the pain had gone. There'd been more muscle moving as well, but it settled down after a while and I got back to sleep. There's a general feeling of rawness though that's there all the time and is controlled with pain relief. That's due to the fact that the muscles have been in this condition for a while and have started to move again.

When it got bad, as it did for a while, I thought of Noor Anayat Khan and that soon brought things into perspective and I found it much easier to cope with. I thought a bit about the things I'd been through too and realised that I'll get through this. It's just that this is a bit different I guess.

I guess too that I am still the master of understatement. But I'm doing ok here really.

And it strengthens you working your way through something like this. Builds up coping mechanisms I guess. And maybe little neural pathways in the brain.

Considering I'm so freaking tired too, I'm doing fine.

Just another Dutch page in English

This is a link from someone else and there's plenty to look through here about The Netherlands.


http://www.geheugenvannederland.nl/gvnNL/handler.cfm/event/onpage/pageID/1F0667E0-6721-11D6-8F22-0002A508D0B7

Just thought it's a nice link for anyone who's interested.

Leaving

Hopefully I can get the flat sorted out this week, moving the next week, and the furniture to where ever it's going the week after that.

I'd've liked it to go to the woman I mentioned before, but it probably won't. She's grieving so hard and maybe it's not the time to try and sort the furniture out for her. I'll just see where I can give it to. I guess there'll be a lot of people who'd like it.

I've not much to do really, but just haven't felt like doing anything much. I just want to get on and do it now. I know it's going to bring back memories as I'm sorting it out.

I've signed the contract and release form though there's still not a date to go. It's not me either, from what I understand there's problems somewhere else down the line. I've said I'll be out within six weeks (again!!) and I just intend to do that.

I'm still not well, but hopefully my health isn't going to get in the way again.

Yeah.

Well, I am feeling better. Not well, my muscles are still tight and it feels unpleasant at times. When my relative was in the home she sometimes complained about feeling like this and thought it was because she had tight clothes on. It was a different reason but I guess I know how she felt now. It's not pleasant.

There's still pain, but compared to what it was it's not bad. And my head's working a lot better again. Well, it's a lot faster. I wrote something a few days ago and I was staring at it this morning wondering how the hell I'd done that. But this evening there's a lot more free thought going on. And, I don't feel, dare I say it, that I'm thinking through a mess of porridge.

Identities

I just decided to leave one thread as it was. I thought the last post was self explanatory in its own way for anyone who was reading through the thread. And I had said something about that in another one, though this time I was going to add something different. But looked at where the thread had gone and thought that's as good a place to leave it as any. On the last thread a couple of people had come in to add their views but this time seemed to have decided to leave it too.

Anyway, I thought I'd just add a bit here.

There was an article in the book section of The Independent a couple of days ago that's up on the web.

The article upset me a bit and kind of shadowed my day, but in context of the thread it's something to read.

Infact, there are two articles from The Independent to link to. Plus one from Radio Netherlands if I can find it. There's probably loads more in the same context on that site but I'm too tired to search through at the moment.

The first link is about a woman who was a member of the SOE during the war and who died at the hands of the Gestapo.

http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/books/features/article346472.ece


(The SOE)

http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/2WWsoe.htm


Noor's name is one you can click on in the article to read more about her.


The second link is more up to date and is about another young Muslim woman, though here you can't get the full article through the link as that isn't available without membership. But this is the link to the synopsis.

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/article346376.ece


Now over to Radio Netherlands and see if I can search out the article that I want there.

Here we are.

http://www.radionetherlands.nl/radioprogrammes/voxhumana/051111vh?version=1


Just trying to show that people are difficult to categorise.

A few years ago I read about a guy who had killed someone during a time of trouble. He was very young, in his late teens if I remember rightly. At the time he had thought he was doing this for a "religious" reason but he soon became aware that what he had actually done was just to kill another human being.

He devoted quite a bit of the rest of his life lecturing and telling others about what had happened and his intense revulsion, sorrow and guilt when he realised what he had infact done.

There is writing about him on the net, or there was anyway, but I can't remember his name now. Maybe I can find out. It sure was an interesting thing to read.

On the thread that I decided not to write anymore on the last post was a generalization in terms of a group. I had already written about this on another thread, though ofcourse it'd take pages to write about it all properly.

Writing about the women would have been just a little bit of my response if I had decided to write. But I decided to leave that post as the last one so that it would stand out. No one else has added to the thread.

Maybe they felt that what a few people had added on the last similar thread was enough.

Healthy eating

Hey. To the person who said Thanks for the stuff on healthy eating. Well, I didn't really have much choice, did I.

There was more on the BBC news site yesterday about malnutrition. Seems it's quite a problem. I can imagine it is mainly with older folk in their 70s/80s who lose interest in food. But I'd also think that it fans out quite a bit more than that.

It's not just a problem of not eating. It's also to do with what you eat. I ate. Just ate the wrong stuff that didn't have much nutrition in it.

It helps to find out just what is recommended for the day as far as nutrition goes. I know. I carefully went through it all when I became a vegan because I knew that I had to be careful really and make sure that I ate properly. I've been a vegan for about 15/20 years I guess. Must be about that.

I just got very tired and couldn't be bothered and it kind of snowballs. Not good at cooking and things anyway.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4733278.stm


I guess this could be a place to start looking for information

http://www.nutrition.org.uk/home.asp?siteId=43&sectionId=s

music

The music's back. just as well. I sometimes think it has a lot to do with my creativity, whether it's something in my own head or if it's listening to the music on the outside. I'm listening to the wonderful Grand Theft Parsons soundtrack right now. The beautiful track Parson's Boy is playing at the moment.

On to Wild Horses. Gram Parsons with The Flying Burritto Brothers and then through the next two songs, A Song For You , and then, Hickory Wind. Guess these four tracks are my favourite on the album.

Love Hurts has just played and now on to the haunting Joshua Tree Inn.

You can just drift away on it, and I guess that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to drift away and get some sleep.

This album has some truly beautiful music on it.

Burmese

I've just clicked on a diary because the name interested me. And it's in Burmese. It's all in Burmese except for the title. All the writing's in Burmese. All the comments are in Burmese.

Many years ago when I was looking around for a language to learn I was really interested in Burmese because I loved the script. Didn't learn though and started learning Kannada instead .


http://www.cs.toronto.edu/~kulki/kannada/kanindex.html


http://bangalorebest.com/discoverbangalore/learnkanada/index.asp


Though I have to admit that I didn't learn for that long. When people who could speak the language saw me with my books they'd often speak to me and I got to learn a bit more just by the people who I used to meet.

Most of it's lost to me now. And I haven't the time to go back.

Just going on to that diary and seeing the script reminded me of that. It's a long time ago.

Prudence

I found this article, just a viewpoint from someone, rather perplexing. The author holds out against blaming wild birds for spreading the new strain of bird flu and turns and puts the attention on farming methods instead.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/1/sci/tech/4721598.stm

I'd've thought that care should be taken with both points of view as assessment is still in its infancy. The holdings that have been affected in the main are small and rural, generally the poultry that belongs to one family. One child became sick from cuddling an ill chicken from the family flock. From this I'd presume that the birds have the run of the area outdoors.

So, are domestic birds are catching the virus from wild sources

or

Are wild birds are catching it from coming into contact with domestic birds.

So, in the above case had the family recently been anywhere where there was contact with other infected poultry or had the chicken become infected through contact with other birds around where it lived.

Had there been any way that chicken could've become infected through contact with domestic birds. Chickens die quickly from the disease.

There have been a number of instances now where the virus has been found in wild birds. So for now we know that it is being spread to them and this has to be taken into account. Changing farming methods is not going to happen overnight.


People can only go on what is being found to happen. From what I know the best way of looking at it is to try and confine the virus to wild birds by keeping wild and domestic birds apart from each other if that is how it is spreading. It seems no one is sure yet so care as to be taken about all possibilities. It's thought if the virus is kept away from people and is left in the bird population it will just mutate and burn itself out as human flu does in humans, becoming less and less virulent with time.

I'm not quite sure what was being suggested here over all. Is it that the new virus is mutating in domestic situations from an old strain and is just showing up here and there. Or that the spread is because of crowded contact in markets.

Regardless, wild birds are picking it up and are living long enough with it to spread it. Ducks are asymptomatic. I'd've thought caution would be the way to go here.

Just taken from RN's site

Language skills test for Dutch two year olds.


A large group of scientists at the Erasmus Medical Centre in Rotterdam have published a report showing that testing two year old toddlers for problems in the development of their language skills may prevent serious problems at a later age.

The report says that early intervention can prevent one in three children with language problems ending up in remedial education. The scientists expect that a standard language skills test for two year olds will yield about 4,800 children who need additional coaching.

Webroot

I mentioned in one of my earlier posts on one of my blogs that I was having trouble launching Internet Explorer after installing extra software on my computer and was thinking of removing Webroot because it was taking so long to get on the internet after I'd installed their programme.

They were aware of this problem and there's now a new update to download for people who have their anti spyware software installed and free if you are within the first years subscription or have updated your present subscription.

I've downloaded the new version and it does make a difference.

The Radical 2nd Wave

Read the article in the Independent's magazine today. Brought back quite a few memories. 2nd wave feminism was born out of the changes in society in the 1960/70s when women found that they weren't being accepted as equal members in society in general or in their own peer groups and at a time when this came as a rather a shock.

I wouldn't have been seen as a radical feminist, regardless of what on line quizzes tell me, though I did hold some views that veered that way. I was more interested in politics across the board and I suppose the woman I was most interested in here in the UK was Barbara Castle.

Feminism was often separatist by default, in that only women were interested in actually doing anything and that it was born out of a knowledge that in lots of situations women were just ignored on the work and political side.

Unfortunately the different factions in feminism often meant that there was no contact on points that people would have agreed upon. It might have been that which caused the movement to flounder or it might have just been that a new generation of women felt that things had progressed enough not to need a political movement like the 2nd wave.

Spare Rib was very inclusive for its time. I was re-reading some of the magazines at The Womens Library a few years ago and I was quite surprized because I had forgotten what a broad spectrum it covered. Unfortunately this wasn't reflected out in the movement very much.

I was interested to see in the quote about Socialist Feminists that men often marginalised womens rights, and indeed they did, which was why the 2nd wave took off anyway. But the feminist movement itself made people feel marginalised too. This was in the main because a lot of middle class, white, straight women weren't interested in black, lesbian and other social structure politics so it made people feel as if they were being marginalised from the movement.

I would have separated Socialist and Marxist feminism of the time. I saw myself as a Socialist feminist but I don't think I could've been described as a Marxist.

Most feminism around that time revolved around consciousness raising. I remember the joy of discovering the book Our Bodies Ourselves. And a lot of women were just getting themselves out into the new society and figuring out how to do it the best.

I wasn't a separatist but I suppose that some women found that the best way to get to grips with how they were feeling and thinking.


I also wouldn't have been considered very pc by some of these women regardless of how committed I was to womens rights. I have been told that I was letting women down because my interests were too diverse. Well, that I was interested in human rights in general. Some people saw this as not giving enough time and energy to the cause. I saw it as supporting women in different situations.

And my "hippiedom" wasn't exactly a selling point either. I also used to read the magazines that Germaine Greer contributed to. (etc)

Even though I wasn't considered radical in my outlook, I did see women as a class in society, I just thought there were a lot of subsections too.

It would've been interesting to have seen the more radical side of feminism along with other forms. Especially as Socialist feminism was mentioned as not being acceptable to other sections at the time.

A mention of SisterWrite and The Silver Moon, the latter sometimes condemned for not being radical enough, though unnerving enough to be attacked in its early days. Perhaps a comment from Jane Cholmeley. Sue Butterworth, the other owner of The Silver Moon, has sadly died of cancer quite recently.

Spare Rib wasn't radical in comparrison to a lot of things that were written. Well, it was but I feel by virtue of its inclusion at times which wasn't always seen as necessary by some.

Feeling much better

..... though still not fully recovered.

My mood has lifted quite a bit. And my muscles are continuing to relax.

I've been out for a bit of a walk because I just wanted to move again. Not well enough to sort of feel the need to dance but what I wasn't doing was playing out in my head for a while.

And I've found it much easier to read today than I have for quite a while.

The two things combined remind me of a small article I read in The Times sometime during this illness about an apparently unusual gene that has been recently found that is seen as a dancing gene. It's a gene that is related to dance.

And I guess I felt a wave of recognition as I read the article. I've known for some time that it's likely that my brain produces quite a lot of serotonin. Apparently it's one of the things that is one of the factors of the gene and from what the article said is shows itself in being rather communicative and er...... spiritual. Well, I'm certainly communicative I guess. As far as being spiritual goes I guess I'm not really quite sure what spiritual means. But I guess I have my interest in the philisophical side of Buddhism that might come under the term. There was something else too if I remember rightly that I identified with but I can't remember what it is.

My walking's improved a lot again since this morning. Went out for a walk on the common this morning and though things were a lot better they've loosened up even more during the afternoon. I've light purplish marks under my eyes that become very dark if I rub them and I can see there's still quite a bit of puffiness around but I know that things are improving a lot. Well, the limp's almost gone.

Still don't feel like doing that much but the day before yesterday I was looking at some art things and my mind was becoming quite creative again though it soon kind of switched off. I thought then that I must be getting better.

I'm surprized that so much has happened today though. Well, I'd started to wonder just what was going to happen and how long it was going to take to get better. And I suppose I had wondered if there was going to be any lasting damage and what it might be. Well, it had gone through my mind a couple of times.

But it seems that I'm ok again. And I haven't had any trouble with my spine.

Well, I'm slowly getting over the last illness. Yesterday I didn't notice the problem walking when I set off down the corridor. Though it's still there, just not as bad. Someone said I was getting better too, so I suppose I am, but it's just such a slow process.

It happened quickly but getting better is a whole different story.

I'm achy but that's getting better, the localised dull ache in my chest has gone and there's now just a general feeling of discomfort. My back muscles are a bit stingy or something. I'm not taking much pain relief. I don't generally, but I suppose I should when I need it because pain can make muscles tense, though I have noticed that I can relax them quite a bit with on the spot relaxation techniques and meditation. So my few minute meditation breaks are helping and I can get in to that while I'm out and on the move. Just stops the muscles tensing up more and causing extra problems.

I was awake til about three this morning because of changes in my muscles. Couldn't sleep while it was happening. The muscles moved a bit around one of my ears a few minutes ago. Makes noises in my head. Still I did get to sleep eventually and I did have quite a lot of sleep the night before.

See how things go.

Moodgym

Well, after reading about it on a message board I decided to take a peek in here

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/Welcome.asp

Don't think I'm really depressed, just tired and still ill but thought it would be worth a look.

Have registered, it's free.

Though that's as far as I've got.

More creativity

Just carrying on from my replies to the Pottering Beatrices last month. You know you could get some people to write whole chunks of work for you.

You put out a statement like "I'm going down to get a bag of chips". Posted at midday. Two weeks later you have a whole storyline composed for you.

Did you know she was out getting chips late last night. You'll never guess who I saw her with. (I hope it wasn't the spacey aliens). I don't think she went home with those chips you know. I heard she was seen in Solihull at two in the morning. No, she wasn't, I know for a fact that she was in Leicester.

You know, blah di blah di blah.

Latest that I've heard: So that's what the rock n' roll lifestyle does for you.

PARDON?

I blame Cadburys meself.

Snort.

What goes on in the heads of these people man.

Such talent: such a waste: so inventive.

By the way this isn't a dig at where I'm living. But, you know, there are a few. You just wonder how they get there.

Going down

The swelling's going down. When it first happened you notice it happening, don't know why. But getting better's a different story all together. It doesn't happen in a few hours unlike the effects of the illness that caused this, it takes days and days and it's not very pleasant.

I don't think I'll sleep much tonight but I hope that this is going to be the last night where I'm really affected. It might take a couple more I guess til it's really cleared enough to get my sleep back as it was. Not that it's been good for years, but it's very erratic at the moment.

I was out today,in Brum for a while. And, thanks to the guy who came over and said You eat your food and take your vitamins.

Don't worry, I will.

It kinda goes for everyone doesn't it.

Blogger

Things still aren't being posted when you think they are. Yeah, last week not only were they not going up but I couldn't fr*cking take them down when I wanted either cause Blogger wouldn't let me.

Nor edit them once they were up for a few hours because Blogger wouldn't let me.


Bad, bad Blogger.

and yes .........

I am up at just gone four in the morning. Have just had a big sneezing fit. Well, if I can be sneezing like that and feeling this much better something must be looking up mustn't it.

My eyes are all watery, but then they have been for a few days. And I'm a bit on the sniffley side.

Thinks: Oh no. Can this mean another cold.

I think it's one on it's way out.

Flipping hell though, my muscles are pulling against each other as the inflamation and swelling of the last month is going down. Uncomfortable to say the least. And there's the occasional amplified loud noise in my head as they move again there as well.

Quelle fun, huh.

The sneezing ofcourse made me ache as well because there's more movement in my chest muscles. But at least all that flipping pain has gone, it's just some kind of ache there now. Well, it's a bit painful obviously, but nothing like it was.

Just going to get a drink of water because I didn't have anything to drink with my dinner. Didn't eat much of the dinner either. For reason see above. "Thinks: Oh no. Can this mean another cold. Will have some sort of soyary sandwich with the water.

Goes to kitchen ... again!!

Could tell a funny story here but it's someone else's story and perhaps I shouldn't. But it's had me laughing on and off for a while now.

MK!!

Potters off to start new LJ.

Oh me flipping chest man. I've never felt like this before. Strange feeling.

Pleasant

It's a nice board and my initial posting restriction has just been passed. I wasn't quite sure when this would happen but I've got there today.

I do feel a lot better but I'm still so whoozy that I ain't posting much.

To be honest this week isn't one of my better ones and I'm a bit fffffTTTTTTTTTThhhhh. Don't know if there's really the letters in this alphabet to describe it. Perhaps we need some more hissy and gutteral sounds to really get there. Though that isn't bad.

God, I'm irritable and seeing the difficult side in everything. Think it's remnants from those couple of days of depression.

Strangely though through all this I think I'm getting over the last week or so.

Or publishing them

Snort

Oh look

Bloggers not editing posts again.


Well, grumble,grumble,grumble.

Up bright and early

It's not long gone five in the morning here in the UK and I'm up eating my breakfast porridge. I'm actually feeling much better this morning, though my head's still rather whoozy, seem to have quite a lot of energy though. And I'm going to need it over the next week or so while I get moving sorted out.

While I was out yesterday I noticed that a lot of people had colds and I guess that's what's got me down again over the last few days. I have been a bit sniffly.

My mood's a lot better too. Couldn't believe myself yesterday. I was just so irritable. Not that I don't have my moods but yesterday I was on a real mission to grumble and moan about everything.

I'll get into the arts magazines today.

And I'll do a couple of hours of Dutch. Well, I can moan and better in the language again. Last night proved that.

Grouse, groan, groan, grouse.

I'm feeling much better this morning.

Though I'm feeling better I feel a bit tender on the right side of my head. I just guess it's been another cold.

Right porridge almost finished and I better get down to work. Get what I've got to sorted out and then I suppose I better go back to rest for a couple of hours to make up for getting up this early.

OK

Well, have looked at disc and that's alright. Will start tomorrow.

Message boards

The one I was posting on for a while isn't really for me I don't think. I've got to pm someone for the link to her board because I'd deleted it and I can't remember what it was called. It should be cool chatting about things but on the first board there's nothing I really want to talk about there. I realise it generally takes time to get to know the people but at the rate I'd be posting I don't think I'd be any wiser a year from now.

I'm on a board where some people I know from another board post and that's friendly though not very busy.

Another one just has so much to read though is ok and I guess I might head there if I've a bit of time to spare. In fact better go and introduce myself I guess. Perhaps not tonight though as I do really feel a bit irritable. Not like myself at all. I'm sure it's just the illness and tiredness. Just hope I'm soon better.

Off to the kitchen again then.

Brum

Well, downed the painkillers and went to Brum for a while, wasn't out for that long though. Pleased I went because I met someone I should've been in touch with. Anyway that's all sorted out now and I'll get in touch this evening at some point now that we've seen each other again.

I'm in a bit of a strange mood at the moment. I know it's just tiredness and getting though this part of the illness but I've been a little on the irritable side today. Think that's why I headed for Birmingham. As it turned out it was good that I did.

I was really depressed a few days ago and I knew that was the illness too but it just kind of sorted a few things out in my mind for me.

Right I'm going to cook dinner. Didn't last night and just ended up eating a sandwich and a yogurt. So, make sure I get it done tonight.

Wanna go through that disc too but I'm just a little headachy as well as a bit grousey so I might leave it for tomorrow. Though I think I might just have a peek at it.

Got the 3D computer arts magazine this month too which looks pretty good.

Health

Can't say I'm feeling better but I'm getting better. The swelling's all going down but it's rather uncomfortable. Just told to stick with it and get through it. I've been through a lot worse so it's not too bad but it's not very nice.