............................

Really, though, the schooling is just a very small part of the picture .. but there's absolutely no reason why adults out of school can't help, at least at junior school, with schooling. Even if mum and dad can't help, for one reason or another, surely there's someone in the family who can.

If someone has dyslexia or problems along that line then help could be given. It would be a great help, all through education ... nothing like stating the obvious ... if people could really be helped to read well .. and encouraged everywhere from an early age.

Maybe the science results would be better then too ... lol!!!

........................

Have to say I've not had my head in my language books. Will do soon though.

I dunno what the answer is here .. but I do think there should be more help from the family .. mum, dad, older brothers and sisters, gran, grandad, aunts etc. At least in the beginning to get things rolling.

And, I really do think there should be more after class time for everyone at schools and colleges/uni to learn and socialise more if they want to.

Maybe there shouldn't be so much testing either .. in the earlier days at school you really don't need tests to see how a kid's doing and it just seems like an added pressure to me. I would've hated to have had to do what are basically assessment exams until the end of junior school.

Actually, while I haven't had my head in me language books I have done a little language learning from the net ............... come to think about it ... lol!!! Not much though.

Monday

I was reading in the press that kids are having a hard time with English, maths and science in this country even though science is being, as they say, really dumbed down. I believe there had been some improvement along the line but that things are getting worse again.

Thought about it. Surely the schools are teaching the same basics though .. and, I believe we're talking basics here. And, if it's just the basics and the schools are teaching the same that they always have, and, in one case, trying to make it easier.. then it's hard to turn round and say, at this point, that it's the school's fault as far as what they're trying to teach.

So you have to turn round at look at the kids, their families and what's influencing them and how the subject's are being presented to them.

Are the kids that interested or are they living in a fantasy world where there things aren't important in the adult world. Seems to me that they're being encouraged by the media to be more interested in the lives of people they don't know than they are in their own. Refer to people they don't know by their christian names if they appear in the press a lot and possibly know more about what the press choose to present as these peoples personal lives than they do about their friends.

It's always been a bit like that but it seems to ne much more so at the moment.

As for the kids not doing very well at the basics of education .. surely their parents should be checking where their kids are with things like that and if things aren't going well try and find out why and/or help themselves.

I know not everyone has a family who'd be interested enough which is one of the reasons I think there should be after school activities that are both social and educational all through education.

I'm talking to a young Danish woman, 22, who speaks excellent English and she tells me that in Denmark in the schools they have to learn English for 11 years, Swedish and Norwegian for 8 years and a choice of German or French for 6 years .. she chose to do both French and German for three years of each. She can also speak Danish sign language and has learnt a little of Slovenian, Croatian, and Italian.

I've heard that a lot of people are leaving this country if they have worked their way through the education system because it's being questioned if this country will be able to recover well from the recession/depression ... whichever it'll turn out to be, because of the attitude here towards education .. well, just because of the attitude here ... full stop.

Maybe that's just general waffling during the downturn, but who knows, it certainly has a grounding in attitude. It's interesting watching people acting like proverbial lemmings.

............

I think the best thing to do is just wait. Knowing how she reacts it probably would've been the best thing to do anyway .. but, who knows. This other lady has been a bit silly though. One moment going after her because she's so angry .. the next trying to make excuses for her .. I suppose, because she can't believe her friend has turned out to be someone like this and is still hoping somewhere in her subconscious that it's all a mistake.

I think she gave up on that one yesterday though when Ms YANW took down the quote from her profile about I'm not all I seem to be .. what you see is not all of me. I can't remember the quote word for word but it was something like that .. people have saved it cause they have copies of this woman's profile in it's different incarnations and that was put up early on.

I guess she might be thinking it's that which has raised her two old friend's suspiscions. I don't think she thinks it's anything to do with me. Maybe cause I hardly ever visit my old profile, neither have I been listed as visiting her two old friends profiles .. I do. frequently, just under a different name .. but, this doesn't seem to have crossed her mind because she hasn't been following me back to my profile .. well, she could log out and find me on Google and have a look that way I guess then she wouldn't show up on the latest visitors list .. but, I've an idea that she's not bothering to do this.

Interesting though that nobody talked to her about me switching profiles ... lol!!!

Not going to the guvnors yet. I managed to stop the lady who had emailed "Know" to her from emailing "Know ur *****" .. though she was pretty keen to .

Actually, as it turned out, it was really good that she did email "Know" to her cause she emailed back "I'm not *****" when if she wasn't how on earth would she know this person's name as according to her she can't access the site and as, that was the first time anyone was meant to have even hinted to her about it ib email, how did she know anything about it, let alone the woman's profile name. She'd been sending slushy emails nightly uptil then as if she didn't know anything about all this.

Then my friend emails "Know" to her and she emails back "I'm not *****" along with a moan about the woman who sent the email.

So, even though I'd've prefered her to have not sent it to start off with .. guess it was a good job that she did because of the reply she got back. I guess someone had a bit of a tantrum!!!

Sunday

Hopefully it's being slowly sorted out. Neither of these women can really cope with the trouble the other one has caused .. even though they told me that they were going to sort it out .. these are the two ex-best friends .. the other folk are more or less standing on the side lines because, although she'd not been too nice to some of them, they didn't really know her that well.


I'm only involverd in this really cause Ms. "you're a nice woman" sent me that message telling me that she had changed profiles but not to tell ANYONE else.


I'd been over to the old profile pages,saw they were gone and asked one of the friends if she knew why. She didn't know they were gone. I went back to my old profile, logged in, and found this message telling me about the new profile but saying not to tell anyone else.


I was left in a quandry .. had my friend said she didn't know about the old profiles going cause she'd been told not to tell anyone too!!! Or, did she really not know. From what she'd said it sounded as if she really didn't know .. but, ofcourse, I really, didn't know if we'd all been told not to tell anyone else with "anyone else" meaning anyone she didn't know very well. It was difficult to believe that she meant these two women anyway .. the two she called sis.



I told my friend though I didn't lnow if she really already knew!!! Can't quite remember quite how things happened now but I got to find out that she'd been quite nasty to these friends and, later on, found out that she'd been very nasty to one of them a short while back but she'd not said anything cause she felt sorry for her. This friend is very ill physically. Both of the friends suffer from clinical depression.

Ms YANW had told people all kinds of stories about her troubles .. problem was when some of us compared notes they didn't match up though the two best friends had got the same spiel.

Anyway that was how the present situation started really.

Ms YANW is denying that she's the person who has this new profile but people have copies of her message to me telling me that she is .. we also found a message from her out in public long before she knew either of the two friends knew anything about this, where she'd signed thev message with her own real name. Since then she's made a few mistakes including giving out info that there is absolutely no way she could have known if she hadn't been Ms.YANW. She just lost her temper and didn't really think about what she was saying .. something she'd been known to do before a lot.

She's been changing the new profile too trying to make it look less like her. Also found she's been gathering young people who are either ill themselves or have friends who are very ill. The profile page is sugary sweet.

She is doing a spot of new internet grooming again.

That's how things stand at the moment but we have been thinking about what to do.

Saturday.

Well, I spent most of yesterday evening trying to sort the problemo out and then most of today. I was not the most content of bunnies on the planet to be sure but it had to be done.

Unfortunately one of the women is heavily into confrontation .. and, really this just isn't a good idea while ur trying to gather more evidence. She wouldn't even have to wait very long but she is one angry person and, whatever she says, her anger is in the fast lane not the slow.

She's all .. I'm not really angry .. I'm doing whatever I'm doing for you .. even though she's far too angry to even hear what other people r saying about what they think is the best route to take right now.

The woman causing the trouble made another mistake .. and I found it. Also checked out the latest people she'd been around and .. sigh .. they were either ill or had friends who are very ill .. she's going for younger people this time .. in their 20s .. maybe she thinks they'll be easier to manipulate in the situation .. or the new people were people she had known before in her previous profile incarnations .



The sad thing is that nobody .. sorry me friends, I mean nobody I know just from there .. seems the slightest bit concerned about the people she's targetting now .. they're just totally fixated on their own relationship with her.

It is a very odd situation all round.

I have a cold so I suppose today was probably better spent just sitting here .. did sneeze .. felt sick .. but didn't have to go into hospital. Went out around just gone five in the end and got a few bits and pieces in.

Must remember to start the EFT off again .. have had a couple of reminders and I mean to do it .. just get distracted .. after all there are only 24 hours in a day.

Right .. I should be able to fit it in then!!! lol!!!

I'll write that out soon and do it.

But for now I have to think of soup, meds and bed.

I've been slightly told off this evening for not writing down me meds, as I take them, while I'm so tired .. and, yes, just for now that's a good idea again. If I forget whether I've taken them or not I have to leave them.

Me brother wanted to know how me languages r getting on .. I have to confess .. and, after all there r only those 24 hours in a day .. but, yes, with 24 of them I should be able to do some.

Now, if there were only 23 and a half I might have a point .. but with 24 I guess there's no chance.

Next time we speak then ...................................

Right time for me meds .. and soup .. and bed.

.....

It is a sad ending to what people thought was a friendship. I suppose I was kinda hoping that this time it might just turn out that things would be alright .. even if it didn't appear that they could or would.



She didn't reply to the email that was sent her off site .. the email was just one word .. "Know" .. not a dicky bird back.

If there was nothing odd to "know" I guess she'd've written back something like .."well u might but I don't cause most of the email's missing ...lol"

But ... silence.

She had got a whole new chapter planned and I think this is why my friend wanted to get it sorted quickly this evening.. though she didn't know this to start off with. I guess she's right but wish, in a way, that she hadn't started it down this route by telling her that she thought she knew who she was a couple or so days ago.

If she'd left it I think E would've just become very complacent and've made one mistake after another. We would then've said .."Know" ..lol!!! This way it's got to go the guvnors with all the paperwork.

I think she's expecting nothing now. There wasn't a "loving" goodnight note tonight either. If she'd just got the first email out of the blue I guess there would have been surprize and curiousity .. and hoping for the rest of it.

Or, whatever .. the loving goodnight should still have followed.

Anyway, I'm off to bed now.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

...........................

I suppose we're going to have to get the guvnors in really. God, she has problems. A friend has loads of stuff saved though. Well, I found and saved some of it .. but, as she's still in touch with her, she had things I didn't that are more recent so I've let her have what I had.. she'll just send it on.

My friend didn't really want the guvnors involved for a variety of reasons .. neither did I .. but she wanted a confrontation with this woman and that's what she's engineered and this is where we've ended up. I would've prefered to have gone down a different route, as would've other people, but there you go .. and here we go.

What's gonna happen is anyone's guess.

Well, looks like someone's gonna be asked why she's contradicted herself by our guvnors.

I said that it looks as if we won't really be bothered much .. cause she has already got what they want.

Will see how it goes.

............

Outpatient's day today .. afternoon visit though so missed a dinner there. Told them that the manuka honey things seem to be helping .. some have, some haven't .. seems to depend on which kind of preparation they come in .. but this one seems to have. They use a steroid cream on me called Elocon which, even with all the pain relief I'm on can break through the pain barrier a bit .. well, I notice it .. but, today was much better. The honey ointment is Mesitran. I was told there were signs of granulation too for the first time in one spot!!!!

The woman is still playing games. Am now in a position to put Plan B into operation though, unfortunately will have to wait for her to catch up .. she's spending a lot of time on there chatting rather than earning points. My ill friend has cut contact with her now I'm pleased to say but people are very curious to know what's going on. Obviously the woman'll do it again. If not there, somewhere else .. but .. still. I don't know .....

I think that the woman might've opened yet another profile on the site cause she hasn't been around on her old one quite so much the last couple of days .. well, since she was asked if she was she.

My friend's feeling a lot better .. but there's still quite a lot of emotion flying about.

What was it about people not bonding on the net????!!!!!

Blimey, if this is "not bonding" .. I wonder what their version of bonding is. Really though, I think they just drew some conclusions that weren't that accurate. Plenty of bonding going on there .. well, not from one person .. but she wasn't there with any intention of forming any genuine relationships .. whatever impression she might've given out.

Anyway, I'm off to sleep now.

............................

Got sent another personal book .. saved ofcourse. They're lovely. Not quite the same as the first .. well, it's one book anf she's kinda done loose leaf chapters with different topics with the experiences in with subjects. And lots of stars .. different coloured stars for different topics .. putting tiny stars into letters as well .. calligraphy!!!! .. guess there're a lot of ways to do it .. I'll be doing animals and flowers for illustrations as I said years ago

Yup, years ago. I know somethings will be lost with the wind now .. don't know who can remember what but I know that I can't remember absolutely everything.

Did start a small one in hospital for my brother .. though didn't really do that much.

I think when I first said about writing books like that, they'd be nice to pass down the family. Depends what people believe though I guess .. but, whatever .. they'd still be nice.

I love them .. and people I talk to have exactly the right ideas ... well, to my way of thinking. Was interested in something someone had to say on Sunday .. it was connected to the passing of his son .. and he's a straightforward guy. And it was Mothering Sunday. Will put it down in my book. Thankyou.

My ADC book is put away now but I have the BBC book .. it looks very interesting.

I have two books about mediumship to read too .. perhaps it's true, perhaps it isn't .. perhaps part of it is .. perhaps part of it isn't. One thing I say about mediums . it's not just watching what you give away during a reading .. but also what you might talk about before, while your waiting .. or even afterwards if you're going to see the same person twice or someone in the same team. Don't stand round chatting about how near it almost was or wasn't and giving family names out right, left and centre in your conversation.

OK .. it's being very careful .. but I think you have to be.

I left an ADC book .. saved from when they had that pile in at The Works for £1.99 .. possibly the best £1.99 I've ever spent on a book .. as I said I wasn't sure about all of it .. just most of it ... lol!! There's quite a dog eaten version over ur way then me book writing friends!! The Works has been brilliant .. I still like that book the best. Think the BBC one came from the secondhand bookshop in Warwick .. a treat after a hospital visit. It's a general look at the subject .. think I saw that it was first published 15 years ago .. guess there was a TV series to go with it .. like the radio one that went with the book I found on synchronicity in the Oxfam bookshop .. another one of those turned up at another charity shop sometime later .. I bought it as I'd given the other one away quite some time before and thought I might like to read it again sometime and/or lend it out.

Haven't raced to read the new book like I used to with the earlier ones .. taking them in, picking them to pieces, wondering this and wondering that.

I'm as convinved as you can be about something that isn't tangible .. it's obviously a personal journey as I've said all along .. Ms. You're a nice woman goes to prove that .. she knew about some people's experiences .. not sure if she'd been interested enough to read any books .. but I doubt it .. and she knew that the woman that she was talking to found this fascinating and important so wouldn't be lying .. and was just relaying things as they'd happened. Doubt if she was really listening though .. had other things on her mind, didn't she. More interested in control freakery than life after life ...lol!!! And possibly always will be.

Reminds me of one of a story I read in a magazine or paper many years ago about a Mafia don who was about to pass over because of cancer and was terrified. The article was something to do with religion, passing over and fear and the doctor being interviewed for this part of the article was asked whether religious people seemed less worried than non religious people .. he said that, in his experience, it was usually the other way round and the most terrified person who he'd met was a Catholic Mafia boss. He was actually frightened of meeting his religious god .. I was very surprized to find out he was religious and believed in a god. I wonder now ....... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ....... have just woken up after an hours sleep .. obviously me body's making sure I get some sleep tonight right .. one hour done ... I suppose another 6 or 7 to go .. I don't usually get xtra sleep these days unfortunately if I miss out on some the night before. I can remember the early days of this illness when I would sleep 13 hours on the trot without missing out on any the night before!!!!

Um .. I wonder .. well, have forgotten what I was wondering cause I slipped off into a lovely hour's sleep. Woke feeling much better for it. Oh, I was wondering if he'd had any relatives that had passed over sitting on the edge of his bed.

Or, anyone else for that matter.

and again

Got a mug of soup cooling. Had to talk to another friend about someone too last night which I didn't enjoy doing because I believe this person is ill rather than just malicious .. whereas I think Plan B .. you're a nice woman woman is malicious .. nothing more to it. She would be guilty in law .. sigh .. how much of that has gone to the back of my mind .. but she has a guilty mind ... mens rea .. the condition of malice aforethought along with her having committed a guilty act .. the actus reus.



This other woman I'm not so sure of though she knows to a degree certainly because she was removing the posts from a bit of her profilr which showed she'd been somewhere she, really shouldn't have if we were to believe what she'd said in good faith. This isn't the same site as Plan B woman ... something totally different. Shows though that she knows what she's doing .. and why I guess .. no guilty feelings or the where I've been links wouldn't've been removed daily. She could actually remove the whole thing so nobody would be any the wiser but I guess she doesn't know how. I've had to tell someone what was happening or she could find herself in a sticky situation.

I'm not sure if there is something mentally wrong with this one though. She did something that I had to get someone to have a word with her about because it could have caused mucho trouble .. to her this time. Had to tell her cause this was quite serious. I'm not sure if it was a "cunning ploy" ...lol ... that she hadn't thought through .. sigh .. or if she was just attention seeking and knew that someone would notice it relatively quickly.

She could just be drunk .. it's a possibility.

So, I had to put myself out there yet again .. but better than galloping in like a knightess on her trusty stead once things had already started going wrong I guess.

Rethink

Changed my mind. The woman whose ill and has trust problems was feeling very poorly last night .. this happens a lot but obviously gets worse under stress.



So, Plan B goes into operation. Can't say what it is up here obviously .. but I've messaged it round the place. And it appears to have cheered people up .. well, it's quite funny and will possibly get a bit of justice too. I just hope that people don't find it so funny that they start telling everyone else. It'll have to be slightly out of public viewing for a while anyway cause of the way things are set up but that'll give everyone a chance to practice their ssssssshhhhhes.

It can be spoken about later on. But, yeah .. the idea seems to've brought a smile to peoples faces.

Hopefully she'll delete again .. actually before or after .. it doesn't matter. I wish they'd just block her on and off the site to be honest but they won't which I think is daft .. they want to catch her out in a big way!!!! Personally, as they already have, I think they're just grieving the relationship they thought they had. Sisters must've been a strong bond formed .. but I do wish they'd let go.

I'm included in the bond now but she is very obviously still there in the midst of a lot of emotion being thrown around. I can feel their worry that I'm going to go but I can feel her presense very strongly and I know they would really prefer that all this hadn't happened. Though they like me being here very much too!!! But, they would have prefered to have just added another close friend.

I'm neutral about her .. but I don't want my friend upset and ill .. so Plan B it is ..lol!!

Got to do some tidying and sorting now.

............................

Just going back to bed .. been dozing on and off all evening. Got a bit of a cold I think.

Not involved with all the problem on the other site. Some of my friends are still involved and a couple must've cared very much for her .. because they can't let go yet. Well, I know they did and are still confused and hurting a lot.

Hopefully things'll get easier soon.

I'm off to bed now.

.........................

She found out that she'd been rumbled today. I'd've preferred that it hadn't happened the way it did .. but then I'm not someone who's been one of close friends for the past two years or so.

A friend PM'd her and told her that they knew who she was .. she PM'd a very angry and abusive PM back in reply full of lies asking what made them think she was herself .. though she didn't put it that way ofcourse.

And that's where things stand at the moment.

Afterwards the woman who confronted her regretted it so she's now poised with a print out of the PM the woman sent me incase there's any fall out.

See how it goes .. but, I'm not spending anymore time checking up on her. As far as I'm concerned that's over

I'm turning in now.

Sunday

Seems I can't really ignore what's going on with that woman cause she's still in the other's lives and they want to talk about her .. and they're quite angry now.

I didn't really know her that well .. that's not really true I guess .. I quickly got to know her a lot better than the others it seems but I think that was only cause the others were constantly making excuses for her. One of the women often seemed a bit narky when she was mentioned which made me think that all couldn't be right at t'mill cause she never had a word wrong to say about her other friends there .. yet she saw this woman as one of her best friends there .. seems she'd helped her when she first joined and introduced her to her other very close friend.

And they say that there's no real bonding going on over the internet because people aren't producing oxytocin when they chat over the net .. I wonder if they checked when the people were thinking of their internet friends later on .. maybe there's a delayed reaction if you're typing or something. Whatever .. just goes to show that there's more than one chemical involved in friendship .. and maybe the oxytocin appears when ur not concentrating on getting your typing right too.

These people are hurting.

Guess it's going to go on for a while yet.

......................

It's saved on disc now ... thankyou.

I'm getting really tired of that woman now. OK, she's not in my life anymore .. but she's still causing problems. There's one woman who I think is starting to lose her memory .. well, on the edge of dementia. At least I think that's what it is rather than anything deliberately malicious. Last night she was in a total fug about all this and said some rather silly things .. Ms. you're a nice woman had sent her a lovely kind and caring email .. that was last night's treat for everyone whose email address she has .. so she said she didn't know what to do cause this woman had only hurt her through hurting her friend. This wasn't true as she'd been getting at her since Xmas for upgrading her account .. sniping away whenever she could .. and, had actually stopped talking to her on the site a little while ago though was still sending offsite goodnight emails. It was obvious what she was getting at and then a little while later said something similar though quickly retracted it saying it was all driving her up the wall.

It seems to be getting to people though.. not just her. It's a shame.

Thursday

One of my younger friends showed me his book .. well, some of it .. he's kept some of the more private things to himself .. which is how it should be. He's been keeping it for about three years now .. followed all I've written about NDE's etc and done one brilliant study on what things like that mean to him and what he's found out about them on the TV and radio, in books, on the net etc.

He's also done a private book where he writes down any experiences people tell him about and any personal ones he might have had himself. He's had one experience of his own to write about, the others have been collected from family, friends and friend's families.

He's written a few from the ADC book in it cause he likes them so much and believes them .. and, yes, one is the butterfly one but has sourced them ofcourse as coming from a book rather than from people he knows.

And he's illustrated it .. celtic designs. I bought him a celtic design book from the Oxfam bookshop here for his birthday cause he became interested. Now, I know why!!!! lol!!! The artwork's just in the personal book though. He started the other study long before.

It's lovely. That's a lot of work. I know other people have done them too .. have to admit that I still haven't got round to it .. but I will.

I used to ask them if they thought they were too young to be looking into things like this because surely it's going to influence how they live their lives .. but he said that he could still have a lot of fun and anyway he hoped that things would've gone ok anyway .. though you never know. I wasn't saying that they wouldn't and nobody's perfect anyway .. whatever you study. But he thinks it's just made him more conscious of being in the world in an I think therefore I am way.

It's just lovely.

And he and his friends discovered the Dr King link .. they were really pissed off and sad that it didn't have a better outcome. Thought it good enough to put down in the personal book though as one of my experiences.

Sad that woman's missed out on so much really but there you go with a head full of hate like that she's not going to get round to much else is she. Can't remember if I mentioned that she's sent notes to people signing herself a different name now so there's no doubt that she's definitely pretending to be someone else.

Anyway, I have to head for the hospital now.

............................

Well, she's now sending very sweet and loving emails to some people while still pretending to be someone else when in contact with them on the site we all belong to.

This is so weird. In the usual run of things you'd expect them to notice that she's not contacting them through her usual profiles and that they can't contact her through them now .. go over to them and find that they've been deleted and email her to ask what's happening.

Though maybe she's keeping the emailing up to draw attention away from the missing profiles. Keeping in contact that way.

It's all very weird indeed.

She's back in touch, under her new pseudonym, with the woman who first told me about her and I know she'd not been in touch with her for many, many months .. maybe a year.

I really don't know what'll happen there. Though this is a woman who holds a grudge big time!!!!!

I didn't really expect it to end up like this!!! I'd left my old profile cause I just couldn't be bothered with her, and, for a while, it seemed that no one else was having any bother. This turned out not to be true just that people were letting her get away with it cause of her sick partner and her own health problems .

Til all this .. and now it's all. or most of it anyway, out in the open.

I don't know what will happen. My part in it all is over again as far as I'm concerned. I think they should just leave it to if they're not going to report her .. why let her take up so much of their lives.

As a group, though without me, they've just got over something else vaguely similar. It's a very big site with a big mixture of people on and there seem to be quite a few problems there. The guvnors sorted out the last bit of trouble .. she's been banned. Maybe that's going to be what they're going to aim for here .. I don't know. Let her dig a hole to walk into herself perhaps.

Whoops .. dozed off a little then and typed out lots 'n' lots and lot's ........................................................... of w's!!!!

Who knows how this is going to end up. Anyway, guess that's it until something else happens ,, like she finds out that they know that she is she!!!!!

..............................

What is going on with that woman on the site is anyone's guess but we know now that she's perfectly in control of what she's doing. She's back in touch with the woman she ignored yesterday chatting away .. being very friendly .. not saying who she really is .. this is to her supposed best friend on there who she's known a couple of years I believe .. they used to call each other sister and things like that .. seemed very close.

Her exfriend is going along with it all .. just waiting to see what she has to say .. she really, really doesn't like her at all now and, boy, has she changed .. from being someone who found it very hard to trust people she has been messaging me .. her new friend .. offering to tell her what's what if she turns up on my profile again.

She hasn't told her off for herself yet but I can see she's rocking with emotion. So much for people not bonding on the net .. both woman are very hurt by this other woman and are very fond of each other. I don't expect to be as close to them as they are to each other now really .. though I've been welcomed in. Think they've been happily chatting about me for weeks now through my friend there but none of us expected things to turn out like this.

Even I didn't, I thought that I knew what she was like .. she turned out to be quite a lot worse than I thought..

We will see what happens.

Arrived at the hospital to find that someone had knitted a nice deep pink fluffy scarf for me. She'd been told that she should exercise her hands so had chosen to do some knitting. She'd also knitted some things for the babies unit there. I'll put it away for the winter. It's really nice.

I fished down into my bag and pulled out an emergency fluffy. She was really pleased as she'd been up to the League of Friends shop in the hospital and there'd been ....NO TEDDIES!!!! And while this wasn't a teddy it obviously did well as a substitute teddy.

Was quite good as she was leaving too. She's not well ... well, obviously and would've had to get off her bus to go the post office to get a letter weighed to send abroad and she didn't really feel like it.

She was telling another woman there .. who I'd just given a magazine that she'd given to me because she wanted to take something to someone in hospital. My friend was a bit concerned that I was giving the magazine away before I'd read it but that was fine cause I had brought in my copy of New Scientist to read over a cup of hot chocolate there.

The lady, who she knows well, said that she lived just round the corner from a Post Office so she could post it .. my friend was umming and arring not wanting to feel that she was putting on anyone even though her friend said it was only two minutes \away from her!!!!

So, I said .. look you've made her happy as she now has the magazine for her friend so let her make you happy by posting the letter. Her friend burst into laughter saying something about having to work for the magazine ............... and ............... then ............... my friend decided to let her take this letter to the Post Office two minutes from where she lives.

She kissed me goodbye for the week

And I pottered off to get a cup of hot chocolate.

...............................

She's ignoring her old friends now but .. who cares. Apparently she used to over react to everything. I didn't know her that well .. though maybe that's not quite the right way to put it, because of her behaviour I got to know her well rather quickly. I think her friends used to let things slide cause she always sent birthday and christmas prezzies and texted if she was away and sent these goodnight messages and stuff. And she was part of a little group of good friends.

There are some very hurt feelings there at the moment .. though they seem to be looking my way .. messaging a lot with hope!!! I guess I've cushioned it all really because I already knew what she was really like and had picked up plenty of proof along the way so that helped get it over quite quickly. Along with the interest, for some, of a new friend to find out about.

Though, having said that, I bet there've been quite a few tears and there'll be raw feelings for a while to come yet while people get used to not being in touch. She was all .. sweetness, love and darling .. sis, best friend, hugs etc, etc.

Still, she's the one who's missing out.

Monday

I was reading something Jimmy Ibbotson said and realised that he'd been given the heads up in his dream so to speak.

The song is still lovely though .. maybe he'll think about the dream some more one day. He certainly has the seeds of self destruction in him in many ways .. he apparently sorted out something that had got him really down through that dream .. was given a tip about some of his views it seems but apparently it didn't sink in.

Still, it's a personal journey for all of us.

Still don't know what's going on with that woman .. seems it was all going on long before I arrived .. they just didn't realise it .. but are comparing notes a bit now. She's in touch with one of them under her new name it seems .. must be interesting for the person she's talking to!!!

There is one bit in her new profile that makes it soooooooo obvious who it is regardless of the fact that she's taken out some important information and put some new stuff in .. about caring for little fluffy animals.. My friend said that they had wondered but couldn't be totally sure because obviously no one had liked to ask if this "new" person had just hiked that from another profile or if it was her. The friendship quotes are quite common on the site so they weren't really that much of an indicator .. except that she used things like on her other profiles .. but this other stuff .. it's just the way she words it .. along with the other similarities .. the odds were it was here .. especially with the avatar she'd used .. um .. just like the last ones.

Maybe she'd written to me rather than anyone else to say that was her was cause she thought I might be the only person who wouldn't recognise her.

lol

Anyway .. I'm waiting for her to "come out" soon and say that it was all a joke.

But .. there's a chance that she won't I guess cause she's in touch with one of her old friends without actually saying who she is .. wondering if she's picking for more information .. though that would be strange too cause she'd be more likely to talk to her in her old personna than this new one.

We will have to see what happens.

..............................

Fell asleep on the sofa again pretty early this evening and have woken up to get dinner and then off to sleep again.

Lots of nice messages waiting for me I guess. I feel that I'm being looked on as a bit of a curiosity at the moment ..people's trust has been lowered a lot on both sites by what has been going on .. and people are looking at me as someone you can trust .. difficult when their trust has just been broken by someone they've known for a long time.

She must've been doing all kinds of things where she could've been caught out though and people just ignored it. A couple of days ago one of the women said that this woman had been quite nasty to her .. but that she'd come round. This was before we discovered the deleted profiles etc.

I'd tried the friendship test on her and she'd come rushing in to be nasty so I wasn't surprized at all. Puzzled when I found the deleted profiles. I think she'd deleted them cause she'd upset someone we don't know on there who had threatened to report her .. and it'd been a panicked response.

Anyway .. it's all over now I guess. Cept she's still sending good night emails to people on there. I guess they'll just block her on and off the site.

I'm off to bed for another couple of hours sleep now.

I'm not looking forward to today really. Don't know what her friends are going to make of what she's been up to. I had a long e mail waiting for me this morning from the woman she'd been chatting to, She certainly has more than a few problems .. not my friend .. her problem has gone ..but this other woman.

Whatever .. she really is a nasty piece of work .. but why, I don't know. Trying to mess other peoples lives up the way she has, spreading lies and gossip and her continuous game playing. I have to a degree, tried to soften the blow to her friends a bit but the truth is that there were elements there all along .. but I really didn't want them to feel too bad over this.

I dislike her very much. One of these two women she had "befriended" is very ill indeed .. not the one who asked me about the profiles. It's impossible that they wouldn't've discovered eventually .. though I did find it a bit strange that they hadn't realised that she'd taken her other profiles down .. and this other one they'd been invited to was hers .. she'd used exactly the same words to describe something!!!!

Anyway found a few more books in The Works .. not interested in auras .. though they do apparently "exist" but not quite as described usually. I don't know if you can see them with the naked eye. I was told that I had a beautiful one the other week but I wondered if that was down to the fact that I'd been welcoming and nice. Auras aren't totally new in my life .. found it interesting that Kirlian photography appeared to pick up an energy field around things. I don't really know much about that or about aura photography though. I've never seen an aura. Well, not 100% true .. though probably not an aura .. I once did see a kind of light around a person .. but I thought my eyes had been affected by the sun. This may or may not have been the case .. though it probably was ..lol!!! It probably is the kind of thing that could happen on a sunny day .. but, then, yet again .......... It's never happened again though .. and it was just that one person.

Who knows!!! It was just a shimmering light though ... no glorious colours. And the person was a total stranger in the street so I never got to know anything about them. I suppose the light would've been round that person because of the way the sun was positioned.

It was a long time ago.

I suspect alcohol is involved around the woman's behaviour. It was round that other woman .. though she admitted she was downing a couple of bottles of wine most nights. Alcohol does seem to make some people act like sociopaths. It was quite obvious by the rest of her recent behaviour that there wasn't going to be a good end to her conversations with my friend .. or, I'd've been surprized if there was. It was quite obvious what she'd thought too ...lol!! .. another way to screw us up and over .. she'd worked out that these were personal experiences .. even if other people were involved .. and that you only had their word to go on .. as I've said on here so many times .. trust your own and your friends .. makes that pretty obvious .. so she KNEW that she could turn round when ever she felt she'd got enough personal info and say ur lying!!! She'd already played enough games by this time to make it easy to know what was next on the agenda. It would've been a toss up between your mad or your lying or a mixture of both. Should've told the other woman about her before I guess.

Anyway my poor friend has all that to sort out now.

...........................

Seem just to be dozing on and off tonight again so having another cup of soup!!! What else, huh!!!

The owner of the second board of the two that the other woman I mentioned a few days ago was back this morning. She's been banned from that one too. It's really beyond me what she expected to happen. It's been done quietly with absolutely no fuss or any public recognition of her presence there .. except now the owner can say well, after I banned her she went over to my other board hoping to cause trouble because that's just the sort of person she is and why I banned her in the first place. Then point back at the board where people might hardly be chatting but they are there regardless of whether they feel it's wise to give an opinion on the board!!!! A couple of posts saying hi a day seems to keep them happy cause that really is all they want to do. I think a lot of them are old and in considerable pain and the board is just somewhere to go to have a few extra people who they get on with quite well. despite the owner, to say goodmorning and goodnight to. The ones that are there, most of who missed the person I know's last post there, seem happy with the owner and are quite sympathetic towards her and her health problems. I think the woman I was speaking to got it rather wrong .. and they only wanted her to set up another board for them if that one was taken down. Well, that's how it seems.

The strange thing is that she runs such an open and free board on board 2!!! Lots of jokes. You would never think that her other board is the way it is with people seemingly afraid to speak their minds or discuss anything but the weather and wish each other well.

But they seem happy enough their now.

I'm off to bed!!!

Hmmm

Oh well .. she's messed things up right across the board it seems. I can hardly believe this is the woman I was introduced to as a carer looking after her very sick husband who used to give her hell all the time .. who, during the time I knew her, seemed to lurch from one disaster to another. I don't really want to mention the things she told me to her other friends just incase they aren't true because I don't really want to br caught up in the middle of all this.

From what I've heard and something I reasd that she'd left in one of her friend's guestbooks I'd say she's always had problems and if they chose to put up with her, which they did, it's not like a RL situation where things could get a lot more messy and difficult, but behind a computer screen many, many miles away from each other .. where a simple click of the mouse would have stopped her writing to them .. or they could've reported her to the guvnors.

Someone has just gone to bed very hurt. I told her the truth about the deleted and new profiles .. not about any of the rest of it .. that's stayed schtuum this end and my other friend's way .. there'll be enough with this and a few other bits and pieces to have enough brought out into the open and dealt with.

This person is one of two that Ms.YALW used to call sister .. it appears .. that she didn't tell either of them that she'd deleted the other two profiles and created the new one .. though she has been contacting them through the new one to play a game or two but hadn't been contacting them verbally on the site at all. Off the site she'd been sending a goodnight email to them both everynight still .. one that just said ... goodnight. It appears that I really am the ONLY person she's told about deleting the profiles and setting up the new one. She knows quite a few people on there.

The second person is going to be very upset .. much more upset than the first.

I told my friend, out of the two, a bit out of what has been happening the last 2/3 months .. but not much .. just so she knows it's not just been directed at them.

Hmmm

Aspirin

I didn't have any problems with the aspirin. Last time I took an aspirin many, many years ago it caused a lot of trouble. I left out one of my ibuprofens though. Instead of taking them all together for the early and middayish doses I take a small dose two hours after the larger dose .. I was so caught up in the aspirin experiment that I forgot to take the small dose of ibuprofen. I don't take any ibuprofen in the evenings or at night if I can help it.

Will try again tomorrow. Will only take a very small dose of aspirin again though tomorrow.

Just a small dose of aspirin can protect against things as you get older so it might be a good idea to take it anyway .. might even be a slight protection against what some of the other medication is doing.

Most people my age are worried by taking a lot of pain relief .. but I guess it depends on how much pain you're in. I know taking lots of the stuff isn't good for you but to be honest with this type of pain the pain relief has to be the better option.

Hmmm ..

Came back in this evening to find two conflicting messages .. one from the "you're a lovely woman" chick and the other from someone she's been talking to!!!

Now the first one is a total head wreck. I was going to put it another way which I'm sure some of my younger friends will guess straight away!!! lol!! And wonder if I've lost control of my dictionaries but I think head wreck is a good a way as any of putting it without the risk of the pet dog passing out from too much slang.

Comprendz!!!!??!????!

OK.

The other woman has always been on the level with me.

I read the message from the first one ... first!!

Which was all about spirituality and how she believed in spirit and needed to talk about it with me.

I sighed and decided that I'd just leave it as I hardly use that profile anymore.

Went over to the profile I use now to read my other messages and there was a message from me friend telling me she'd had a similar message, had responded and chatted for a while about out of the body experiences and auras and things like that. Unfortunately I hadn't told her what had been going down with t'other person. She believes in both as scientifically proven happenings and is interested in the different interpretations people put on them and Ms "you're a lovely woman" was so into it my friend decided she'd go into talking about things that were really under the heading of personal. When Ms YALW had gotten a bit of personal info out of her she decided to tell her that she thought it was all a load of rubbish and that she didn't believe a word of it.

Well, quite .. if she did she'd have more than enough info from talking to people, reading books, bought or borrowed, and, from the net. Could've joined places for people searching out info .. there must be umpteen organizations of one kind or another out there .. from people interested in UFOs etc to those interested in OBEs. To people like my friend who has the website for people virtually interested in everything .. who I will be contacting ... I guess. Well, if I don't, it won't hurt her cause she doesn't know that I'm sitting here planning to.lol!!!

So .. she's trying to move on to me now.

I'm just ignoring her. It's not even tempting to make up a lot of whimsical stuff .. I'm the 7th child of a 7th child of a 7th child born under a new moon, at midnight, just as the family cat gave birth to the 7th kitten of her 7th litter.

She does know a bit about me .. but not much. As, I said, I did the "ur my best friend" thing quite close into getting to know her .. and the crapolla started in earnest!! lol!!

I don't know what's up with her .. though I know she's on a fact finding mission so she must be about to change her tactics, Suppose she'll be deleting her new account soon. Usually what happens on the site if people have been behaving badly they get banned .. which she may have been .. very, very few people .. if any, delete their accounts because people have been behaving like Ms YALW .. the site owners deal with it all and the problem people have their accounts deleted. They're usually monitored for a little while without them being aware of it and their previous activity looked into as well. There had been a bit of bad behaviour going on but everyone else had got it sorted out. I reckon she just thought it was time to start a new single profile before people started looking too closely into what she'd been doing. Though she doesn't appear to be starting off too well on this one either .. not much of a change of attitude anyway.

I'm actually wondering if she's someone else on the site too .. this person won't accept any messages or leave any but she's roamed around our profiles for years .. sometimes appearing every couple of days or so on some of them .. none of us have had any idea who she is at all .. but I'm starting to feel a wee bit suspiscious.

First woman also let me know that her partner was ill .. the one she was so bothered about, that when I had some important news for her because of my own experiences with the medication he was on, that she didn't read my messages for four days to find out what it was or thank me for the help I'd already given her.

I dunno .. maybe our roving guest is just someone who enjoys reading it all though. Who knows. I could imagine doing that I guess .. though I think I'd soon give in to the temptation to chat to someone!!!! Maybe she suffers from social anxiety disorder but enjoys our company this way .. if that's it she's more than welcome.

But .. I don't know ...........

Hmmm .............................................

Saturday

I've been checking up on aspirin on the net. When I became ill this time I said that I didn't want to take it because I'd had problems with it in the past because it'd affect my tummy. It turned out that could've been because I'd had a bug which caused ulcers. When I was very young apparently there was no way to pick up whether people have this condition or not .. and lots and lots of people do .. but in 1982 a bacteria was discovered that caused stomach ulcers that could be got rid of with a course of anti biotics.

I don't have it anymore so wonder if I'll be ok with aspirin. I could have a sensitivity to it but, even then, as I take medication to protect my stomach from the corticosteroids and ibuprofen I should be ok.

If you're under 18 you shouldn't take aspirin as there is a very slight chance that it might affect you badly. It really isn't worth risking. It can cause a condition called Reye's Syndrome which is why it's not used in children's medicines anymore. You shouldn't really take it if you've been drinking or take warfarin or have diabities, gastritis, asthma or gout or have any form of kidney problems. As with all meds it's best to read the info that comes with it before taking it.

I'm not 100% sure I'll be ok because of the auto immune illness but as I take a tummy protector for the ibuprofen and the corticosteroids I should be fine. It's worked for them.

It's just for while my muscles are releasing a bit round my right side. I reduce and up my pain relief as I need it. Don't like having to take so much but the pain's bad as I guess is obvious from all that's going on, couldn't be anything but.

OK. Well, I took one about half an hour ago and haven't had any tummy pain .. but I do feel as if I'm going to sneeze. Suppose I have another cold .. my eyes were a bit wet when I woke up this morning so it looks like it, doesn't it.

I slept about twelve hours yesterday which was good. Feel asleep on the sofa for a few hours then slept another 8 hours til gone ten this morning.

Next thing I'm going to look into is liquorice .. it's said to help auto immune illnesses .. as well as the liver. It's help as far as liver cancer goes is that there are chemicals in it that help the effect of the medication though, in general, it seems that it can help protect the liver. Apparently the chemicals that scientists have isolated in liquorice that help deliver the medication to where it's needed in liver cancer are more effective than those already used and much cheaper to prepare!!!

Well, I'll give it a try for the auto immune illness. Though need to find out a bit more about it I guess as it can cause a bit of water retention if you eat too much of it. Whether this has anything to do with liquorice sweets I don't know .. well, it has nothing to do with some liquorice sweets these days as a few are artifically flavoured .. or just more concentrated forms of liquorice root sold as medication. Will have to find out I guess. Still it'll do no harm to eat a few liquorice sweets a day I guess. Best to avoid it if you have uninary problems though or ask your doctor or a herbalist about it.

..................

Going to get my soup now then off to bed.

My sleep has been all over the place recently .. some nights not getting any sleep .. sometimes just dozing but being more awake than asleep, sometimes falling asleep on the sofa for most of the night .. sometimes just dozing in and out of a kind of sleep and too tired to get to bed. It's just been all over the place.

Surprizingly or unsurprizingly I think of Jane Goody a lot at night. I hope she has some comfort to help her through what she's going through. I feel empathy with her. I have had more in common with her than some people reading this will know as far as the illnesses go AT TIMES .. more than just the extreme pain which I experience now and then.. I bought some soluble aspirins to add to the cocktail of pain relief today.

I hope there's some comfort for her and that someone spiritually is holding her with love.

She's so young but there has to be someone close to her whose had an experience that will mean a great deal to her.

You don't have to have the experiences yourself it's easy to believe them if it's someone you love and trust telling you about them .. or someone you know isn't lying as far as this is concerned. There wouldn't really be much point me saying anything cause she wouldn't have the slightest idea whether she could trust me.

Looking back at Jimmy Ibbutson .. his dream has obviously given him a lot of comfort .. though I'm not sure how much further you can take that though it certainly appears to be something that happened at a time when he really needed a lot of help. I would like to know if anything else has happened to him or people he can trust etc in that way. It's a nice coincidence. But it's not very, very unusual or accurate if you know what I mean. I'm very, very tired tonight ... very little sleep last night .. so I'm having more trouble pulling words out of my mind than I usually do. My friend just thought that more experiences might mean that he'd see things rather differently than he's been known to. And, it didn't seem to happen after that dream.

Anyway .. off to get some soup.

And ....

Bangs head metaphorically on metaphorical computer again!!!!!! Though I suppose you have to laugh ... maybe!!!

Remember the woman who called the guy who was going into hospital a wonderful woman because she hadn't bothered to read what he'd written and then turned up on my alternative .. yes, folks I have an AlteRnAtiVe profile .. profile without knowing it to congratulate me on getting better when I said that I was getting worse.

She has private messaged me inviting me to her new secret profile that I'm not to tell anyone about. Well, I know why I shouldn't tell me mate on there because I know about the argument they've had .. but I don't know about most of the other umpteen whatever and I don't want to know. Why she thinks she's got a hope in hell's chance of me wanting to be friends with her I don't know after the way she's acted towards me ... but there you go.

Someone else I know is now chasing someone else around the net. She was banned from one of this person's boards .. she has two .. after the board owner was nasty to her and she answered her back. The owner behaves totally differently on both boards .. the person I know is now on the second one waiting for the owner to come back after being away for a few days.

People are going to wonder what she's doing and the board owner can now say that this woman is behaving rather bizarrely. People have started going back to the first board already .. which might not be a good idea as one member said something along the lines that she'd found it better not to express an opinion there!!!!!!!

The woman who is now on the second board is being ignored there possibly because there're a couple of people who belong to both who probably can't believe that this woman has turned up on the second board as if nothing what so ever has happened on the first. You know .."Hiya folks. Sorry I haven't been around for a while."

I'd like to be there when the owner comes back .. and I think I might!!!!!!!

......................................

I have dinner doing now. Have been thinking about last night's conversation a lot .. a lot of the talk was about music .. we have much the same tastes. I told him about my watching The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and he said he's been a fan for years.

We had a bit to talk about that too .. cause there were some serious questions I wanted to ask him. Sad ones really.

It was such a treat to hear my guitar again. He thinks it was an end of the line model and that's why it was so cheap .. they were just clearing space and possibly wanted more room for electric guitars so just sold that guitar off. Gosh, it has this beautiful deep melodic sound though. He thinks that it was probably the last left of a consignment from The States .. wonder if it was one left out in the shop too all the time and had been around a while. Wonders what the others were like.lol!!! Sigh.

We also got to talking about experiences and I said that I have a couple of problems that are tied in with the music and experiences. I'm not religious but I have a respect for what I know about Jesus. I'm aware that Jimmy Ibbotson has drawn great strength from his dream and the song that was written in his sleep.

But I have to say that as a person I have problems with him and have for a while. I prefer the bands music with him singing but prefer the band without him in other ways.

My friend agreed.

This guy has had quite a few experiences quite like mine .. my friend that is .. and thinks Mr Ibbotson's is probably a one off!!!!!lol!!!

I totally believe in life after death now .. well, there's that tiny little bit there that says you haven't actually experienced it but it's now so small that it's just there cause I feel it should be because it's not tangable. I can't reach out and touch it.

I'd seriously like to know what's behind Mr Gill's beliefs .. he sings some beautiful songs. Well, I've heard three so far ..and they're nice. I'm wondering if he has a physical illness. I'd like to know how often that turns up with these experiences. Obviously I know that it does in some ways when someone is very seriously ill ... sometimes and in different ways. Why does he come over as being so totally unafraid of passing over

There is so much that I'd like to read too.

My friend said he'd been longing to get in touch for ages but was worried that I wouldn't be up for talking much cause of my illnesses but that he'd just hoped that I'd be ok.

We have a lot to talk about. I told him about my last experience. Not the Nartin Luther King one though we discussed that later because it tied in with something we were talking about and then something a bit different I wanted to bring up which was to do with that evening. As I said what I was researching that evening wasn't to do primarily with racism though it was to do with Dr King.

........

Well, the googling problem brought a friend back into my life. Years ago I wrote in my blogs about a semi accoustic guitar I'd bought in a sale which, to me, was the most wonderful semi accoustic guitar I'd ever come across .. or, possibly the most wonderful guitar I'd ever come across.

Dunno why it was in the sale ..if I remember right it was half price .. because it had the most wonderful tone I'd ever come across and I never had any problems with it or found any weaknesses.

Eventually, after some health problems, I sold it for charity, to a local musician.

He's been reading my blogs for years ...lol!!! And last night decided to phone me up. I'd said he could have my phone number years ago but he'd never phoned .. then last night, after reading my stance on the quarrel over at Youtube decided to call me to have a chat .. though we hardly talked about Youtube.

He played me some music on"me" old guitar .. to make up for my lack of music on Youtube!!! lol!!!!!


Thankyou

Still not back then!!!!!!!!

Well, last night nothing I clicked on was affected and having just clicked back on previous videos I found the ones I couldn't see were one by Vince Gill when he was singing with someone else. I don't know who it was though I guess I could go to another video hosting site and find out. The other is a David Essex one.

I guess it has dented my interest in youtube a bit though cause I'm not sure when I click on some videos if they're going to be available but in time, if this isn't sorted out, I'll know which is going to mean a lack of interest in the music and Youtube. More a lack of interest in the music I guess cause how long are the other hosting sites going to be able to play these videos for.

Guess a lot of the videos that can't be shown on Youtube will be on the musician's own fan sites.

The Vince Gill one I tried wasn't playable from other sites .. other versions of the song came up even though the thumbnail to click was a picture of the video that Youtube won't play in the UK. He was singing with other people on this video.

It'll affect the musicians the most I guess cause there's plenty of good music out there. I was listening to things on the Universal Music Group page that I usually wouldn't have. Went there because of the Vince Gill video. Though I found another version of the David Essex song on their home page which wouldn't play . Just got the message .. this video is not available in your country. It was a recent live version of the song that I clicked on first that wouldn't play but found other recent videos that would play.

Mum used to like David Essex's songs. Wasn't really my type of music but she loved musicals so I can see why she did.

I don't get the PRS .. surely this won't do the musicians affected any good at all. Youtube is promotion At the moment I'm a bit fed up with the row haven't been over to Youtube as much as I often am though have been playing my favourite songs now and then.

Surely this isn't going to be good for anyone though. If the PRS is marginalised for searches for new bands on the web it isn't going to do UK music any good at all .. infact it's going to create a very weird split in the industry. I think it's a great idea to have youtube involved in finding music .. sort of music by the people for the people with the people who'll be listening giving the thumbs up over the web from all over the world to bands from all over the world. Seems some are going to be marginalized now and it does seem a bit like stabbing yourself in the foot. It's free publicity that's growing all the time and if they become scouts and promotors too the site's going to be massive. Well, anyway, you'd think so.

I clicked on this morning half expecting the music to be back up again and to be told that talks would be back on their way with the hope of soon reaching some kind of agreement. After all Youtube is there for all sides of the equation .. music fans .. the musicians .. other aspects of the business .. and, hopefully, eventually for Youtube itself.

Youtube and the PRS

If you click on the music service that Real Player provides you find that nearly everything you click on in the music news comes back with the message .. we're sorry but this service isn't available in the UK.

Last night I started getting the same message from Youtube as I clicked around some of the videos. Ah .. so the negotiations between Youtube and the Performing Rights Society have come to an end without being able to come to an acceptable compromise for either side would be willing to accept.

Well, I woke up this morning to find out that they are still in the middle of their negotiations as far as the PRS is concerned though Google, the owners of Youtube, are saying that there's no way they can accept the deal that's being offered them because they'd be losing a lot of money.

The Performing Rights Society site

http://www.prsformusic.com/Pages/default.aspx

I don't know if the current economic depression is behind Google's and the PRS's actions. Though Google itself made a good profit last year, Youtube wasn't doing very well comparitively because they weren't making as much from the ads as they'd hoped .. they are trying to find a way of including advertising on the Youtube site which will catch the eye easily without being too obtrusive. I suppose they might go on to having a system that you'll be ad free if you pay to join Youtube but if you want to watch free you'll have to watch an ad before every video or every few videos.

I'm not quite sure what Google hopes to gain from this. I enjoy quite a bit of Youtube content but I don't think I'll bother that much with the site is the majority of the music videos are legally off limits to me cause I live in the UK. Not quite sure what that will mean for Youtube and their UK ads if most people here stop visiting the site much cause they can't watch the music videos they'd like to.

Anyway, we'll have to see what happens. Maybe they'll come to a compromise .. maybe they won't.

It's a bit difficult to see what's going to happen. I believe Google feel the whole problem is down to the PRS uping their fees much, much too much when Youtube is still trying to make a good profit from their service. Google, itself, is still doing well despite the economic downturn, infact beating economic forecasts, but they are having a bit of a problem trying to get Youtube on it's feet financially compared with the rest of the company. Possibly cause the videos are a major distraction away from the advertising. They obviously don't want to make it a paying site, at least, not yet anyway .. and might not if they can ride out the economic downturn. A paying site wouldn't be good as far as their hopes to have things like competitions to find and promote new bands from which they obviously hope to make a big profit from.

I wonder why, if it's a fact, that the PRS think that a company will accept an offer that is a huge hike up in monetary costs and means that Google will be losing money.

We will have to see what happens!!!!!!!!!!

Friends!!!!!!

I was thanked yesterday for something I couldn't remember doing. Well, it was just uttering a couple of lines .. but it meant a lot to someone and did change the way their life went. Things would've been very different for him if I hadn't turned up that day and said what I did .. but I had forgotten. There was a lot more to it than that little bit ... which I did remember .. but that part had slipped my mind over the years .. lol!!!

I was thanked last night again and had to sift through my mind very, very (VERY) quickly to place just where we were during everything that had happened at the time.

Ah .. yes!!!

It had made a great difference ... yes!!!! They'd made a series of blunders which had resulted in some very hard times for this person and which they weren't taking any responsibility for .. even though I'd given them a gentle legal reminder .. and which they were about to make much worse. Someone asked if I would go along and have a word .. which I did .. and minds were changed ... lol!!!

In fact it all worked out very well indeed. The initial mistakes had paved the way to sort things out in a way that made things a lot better all round and it was done without a lot of hassle.

But .. I had forgotten about that little bit. I'm not sure if he knew who'd been responsible either til last week .... ooops!!! lol!!!! Something must've happened for him to have suddenly mentioned it like that .. out of the blue.

So ... friends fer eva!!! or something .... lol!!!!

Sunday

Read in the papers that 900 people over 65 are admitted to hospital every day in the UK through binge drinking. Was talking about that last night and said I thought it might be to do with pain and often having to cope with a lot of hardship by yourself.

But .. having said that .. there must also be a social factor influenced by .. fashion basically .. cause the figure has risen by two thirds since 2002 .. unless the generation of people going into pensionable age just drink more.

Can't tell because the figures weren't broken down into smaller age groups.

My "real life" friends are a mixed bunch but as far as I know there's only one person who has a drink problem .. she's in her 70's and really has drunk her way out of our lives. She's isolated herself with a bottle or two now and no one sees her much anymore .. just by chance meetings in the street. People have tried to help but she doesn't want to know cause she's addicted to the bottle.

Last time I saw her she was not in a good way I must say. It's really screwing her brain up. Shame because, by all accounts, she used to be a very nice person until she decided to flood her brain continuously with alcohol. Now, she's often pretty nasty and doesn't know fact from fiction. When she's not too drunk she'll apologise for the drinking and how she behaves but she obviously has no intention of stopping it. She knows from her old job how to get help and what the alcohol will be doing to her.

I don't know how long she's been drinking. I think things got very much worse while I was going in and out of hospital so I never really got a chance to get to know her well but from what I did know she was so nice and kind. It's a real tragedy seeing what's happened.

Alcohol can cause so much misery. Someone told me about a night out a couple of weeks ago where so many people were just off their heads with booze and, he presumed, pills and were yelling abuse at each other. Lovely night out, huh!!!!!! Just what you'd plan ... not .. I'd think. And, what a waste of money.

One of the problems if you drink a lot is that you never really learn to cope that well in social situations without a head full of external chemicals. Not to mention what it does to ur liver etc.

Still, I guess we're all responsible for ourselves ... however difficult it is. I don't know why the woman I mentioned started drinking. I have a feeling that it might've been when she was widowed. And I can understand how that happened but it's totally wrecked her life. I don't think there's a chance of things improving as she won't get help and she is someone who knows all about what it's doing to her. I think she's just given up .. thinks it's not worth the effort at her age. I don't know if she has any real idea just how bad things are now at times. I really was shocked last time I saw her.

I really have no idea why so many people just a bit older than me and up are drinking like they are now. Or, why the hospital admissions have soared the way they have. Up by two thirds in about 6 years!!!!

900 per day!!!!!

I did wonder how many are repeat admissions .. that wasn't mentioned in the article either, along with the number being broken down into smaller age groups. Even with that the fact that it's gone up by such a lot so quickly is surprizing.

Yesterday ...!!!!!!!!

I must say they're brilliant musicians .. Vince Gill too .. and I love the accents though they did throw me a bit on this song ... lol!!!! But, I've noticed on their songs how well their accents move around the music.

Whoops ... this song!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK3FRZkuwv0


Have to say that Vince Gill's little aside near the end of the clip threw me a bit .. lol!!! I grinned though .. rather than feeling offended by it or thinking he was totally round the bend. Which I guess is a good way to be .. not to be scared.

Um ... Mr Gill????????????????

I still haven't got round to contacting my old friend yet .. but, will I think. It's been a long time .. over 40 years .. but, that's not got anything to do with it .. I can still see her back in those days in my mind's eye. She was a nice person.

I loved the bit at the end with Jeff Hannah and his wife .. they look like they get on well ...lol!!! I wonder if that's where the clip ended or if it went on to show her singing too .. if it did I can't find it on the net.

Friday

I might give her me blog addy I guess .. second or so entry she reads ... U LOOK LIKE SHANIA TWAIN!!!! ... Oh, she has bin discussing meeee!!!!! ... Perhaps I should delete any personal stuff like that. I don't usually write any personal things here about people I think might read it ... with a few exceptions .. on the friends side naturally.

Been washing soft furries today Eventually they'll all go off to their new homes. Had adopted them from the local charity shops thinking they'd make nice presents. I have one orange unicorn to do a teeny, tiny bit of surgery on .. slight case of seam unravellenous .. which as we all know is a very, very minor condition for orange unicorns.

As for me, my health, in some ways, had been getting worse .. walking was easier but other symptoms had started appearing .. one .. very serious. It came on almost overnight .. and, after a couple of weeks, has gone as quickly. I thought that I would have to have surgery in the next three months or so if things stayed the same or got worse. It hasn't cleared up totally but there's no comparrison to how it's been over the past couple of weeks or so. I'll ring my consultant up on Monday.

I started having nosebleeds too .. but they've stopped as well. Not had one for over a week now. And there was some bad breakthrough pain in my chest and down one arm but that has gone too. The difficulty I had getting back from the docs, not helped by the rain .. was down to my ribcage having moved a little so my breathing altered. I walked back yesterday ... and, ok, it wasn't the easiest thing to do but it was much easier than Tuesday.

Well, going to get a mug of soup, sort my next dose of meds out.

.......

Think it's soup time now ... and then off to get some sleep.

M...u...s...i...c

Suppose I'm getting used to Shania Twain's voice or something cause the music's growing on me!!!!! There's a lot of rhythm there in some of the music if you want to dance .. which my friend probably does and I can't.

They don't half look alike though. lol!!!! I'm not sure that she'd be that aware of it or wouldn't be that interested if she was .. she's like me more into the music than the artists. Though her daughter or someone must've pointed the resemblance out ... though knowing her daughter .. maybe not. I haven't ... so. who knows!!! She really likes the whole red shiney lipstick and high heels etc thing .. though more on other people these days .. though she'd probably go for the coat in that video as a dressing gown. Though, having said that .. she doesn't seem to have aged since she was around 40 .. she's 61 now .. and she's had no plastic surgery or anything like that. She's changed the way she dresses though.

It's quite funny though watching the videos .. especially the one I put up cause her hair is that sort of colour at the moment. Reminds me of watching The Rocky Horror Show and collapsing in fits of laughter cause I knew someone, who, at the time, looked very much like Tim Curry. Added an extra dimension to the experience. lol!!!! The first time I saw it was priceless.

Still one of my favourite films. And that still makes me laugh.

But, yeah, as far as Shania Twain goes .. it's not really my type of music but the beat to some of the songs is pretty hard to resist even if ur ill like me and cannae dance no more. I can understand why she likes it.

.......................

I've just had to pick myself up off the floor ... metaphorically speaking!!!!! A good friend of mine is a Shania Twain fan ... the music doesn't really get to me ... but we all have different tastes and us two have totally different tastes in music.

But ... I've just watched the video to That Don't Impress Me Much .. and almost collapsed giggling .. my friend and Ms Twain are almost doubles of each other ... minus a few years .. my friend is a bit older. The similarity is just so striking.

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/2025369/v2148514

I don't even know if she's noticed ... maybe not. She's kinda into all that kinda power glamour stuff that comes over on the couple of Shania Twain videos I've watched and she's probably seeing similarities there rather than in anything else. lol!!!! She certainly hasn't ever mentioned it.

We get on well even though we have very different approaches to some things.

Lol!!!!

Potters off to eye up Jimmy Ibbotson's waistcoat!!!

We have quite a lot in common too though and there's plenty to chat about through the similarities and differences.

Didn't take long

I was reading some of the reasons why some people think social networking (on the net) is bad for your health and why they think a whole generation is going to be infantilized by it.

Now, I think that there should be lots of out of school/college things for people to have the choice of doing .. which includes computers .. but also includes lots of things that might include social activity face to face. Ofcourse there'll always be people who don't want to make use of it but that's their personal choice.

Apparently socializing on line and IRL produce different chemical responses in our brains .. on line there's no cuddle chemical produced .. which considering the amount of hugs going round the net I find difficult to believe .. I mean it's a virtual hugathon with lots of hug smilies just to make it a little easier .. u just have to put a smilie up and hold down to get lots and lots and lots of smilie hugs. Had to smile last week when I was using a rather ornate font to write hug in capital letters with .. it would've been many hugs over and over again .. but with this font it came out looking like BUG BUG BUG because of the way the H was drawn. I changed font pretty quickly!!!!!! But people send so many hugs 'n' cuddles across the net to friends they know through the net that I have to say that really surprized me.

Is something else happening that's helping people bond. Or are we just perfectly capable of bonding with people without the need of a hug chemical ... maybe just that we like them is all that's needed and we don't need a chemical to push us in that direction. I've formed friendships on line where I'm attached to the people .. and I know it works the same with my friends .. cause they tell me. It doesn't work with people who aren't my friends .. u know because they're messing me around .. but it works with time and common sense with those who are. And, just once, without common sense too, the woman with the extreme drink problem .. I was quite attached to her as a friend for a while .. she was ok to start off with .. and it hurt a bit when I realised that I really didn't want her as a friend. If I hadn't got attached to her it wouldn't've hurt at all . There've been other people who I haven't got attached to cause the warning signs have slowed the friendship down and not having them in my life anymore didn't hurt at all. And, ofcourse, there are internetty friends I care for a lot.

I think the vegetarian woman might've had a drink problem too though I'm not sure. I've talked it over a bit with my psychologist fwend .. and he's not sure what's going on there either. I don't miss her at all. Not missing her has nothing to do with there being a bonding chemical there or not .. I just didn't like the way she was behaving.

I have a net friend in hospital at the moment and judging by my worrying about her .. I've bonded there ok!!! I'm better today cause I've realised that she's going to be ok but yesterday I was worrying a lot. She's going to be in rather a lot of pain for a while but other than that should be ok

The cuddle chemical that was mentioned as being missing in response in our brains on line is oxytocin. If it is .. then there has to be other things going on that produce the same or similar reactions. I have friends on line who just so miss their internet friends if they can't chat to them .. and that's friendship and bonding.

And what about friends we've known for many. many years though don't get to see very often if at all .. the friendship and bonding is still there after so many years of not being with each other .. just the occasional phone call and/or letter and now time on line.

Ofcourse, I'm older now .. way past the time when I had a developing teenage brain .. I was a bit worried that teenage brain was often mentioned .. as opposed to young developing brain .. people younger than teenagers socialize on the net. Are they worried that the ability to produce oxytocin might be affected, or, the way the brain is structured more generally to form social relationships ... if younger people socialize in a way that sometimes doesn't promote the production of oxytocin. Young people mix quite a lot generally.


And what difference is there between interacting with a TV screen or with people you actually know on the net as far as developing brains go.

How has TV affected the formation of young brains!!!!!!!!!!! Is there a noticeable difference. There must've been brain imaging done on people's brains who've spent a lot of time on the net as well as those spent more time infront of a TV. What's the difference.

Speaking as an older person .. I haven't noticed any difference in how I react to people. I think I said earlier in my blogs that I tend to spend my time thinking of the nicer people in my life rather than the nasty ones .. they deserve more time after all. Still do.

The first of the last two women I mentioned recently came back into my life without realizing it. The one who called the guy who had to go into hospital "a nice woman" She found her way on to the profile I'd made to see what else she'd been doing. Well, she just followed my new name's link. I'd written on the profile that I was very ill and couldn't spend more time on the net. Think I mentioned it earlier. She messaged me saying how pleased she was to hear that I was getting better.

I, like the guy, just ignored her.

It was also suggested in the article I read about social networking (on the net) that being on the net stops people learning to identify body language and other non verbal methods of communication of everyday life. I guess a webcam would help with that to some degree.

I wondered if computers actually meant that lots of people have more varied communication with lots more people who they'd never otherwise know ... from different communities as well. Also wondered if concentrating on what people have to say without being distracted by other non verbal things will help people relate to what's actually being said which might help in RL

Anyway, I'm getting a mug of soup, me meds and going off to bed.

Today

Been to the hospital and the GP today. Was OK getting to the hospital and walking around but had a bit of movement round the ribcage inbetween getting back from there and setting out for the GP's so I found I was wheezing again. Guess this might be a bit tricky. I'd been having extra pain in my chest and down an arm because of things moving .. slightly .. or that's what I put it down to.

The woman who the cancer ok has a bad back which is giving her quite a lot of pain right now .. she has some kind of alternative therapy which helps for a little while but it always comes back. Mine is more than just back pain obviously but I can empathise with her through it

As for very severe pain, worse than this, I don't think that anyone can understand what it's like until they've experienced it. Someone I know thought her pain was a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 and I couldn't believe what she could do ... but it's all relative. I hope the future will be ok for her and that she never has to experience anything worse.

There are new ways of treating pain in the pipeline which sound very promising though.

Anyway, I'm off to get dinner now .. or, to put the oven on anyway.

Monday

Have a bit of a cold ... sneezed yesterday ... didn't really sleep last night though dozed on and off during the evening.

Off for an early mug of soup.