Monday

Have been offerred a couple of computers to use. It's so nice having people looking after me again. And, it makes me glad that I did go up to look after mum .. was up there longer than I expected .. firstly cause I said I'd stay after she had to go in to a home because her Parkinsons Disease had got to a stage where one person couldn't manage it and then because I became too ill to travel back.

Was out looking at the charity shops at the weekend. Helped out at The Trinity Hospice shop for a year once but I think this tine I'm too ill to go in .. never know though .. worked there just before the Church Commission sold the large shop and it closed for a while. Was there with Robert and Phyliss and Sandra and Marika .. and, ofcourse, Sky, me border collie cross that I'd got from Battersea Dogs Home.


Wasn't well then but nothing like I am now. The steroid drips did my back in unfortunately though, on the muscle side, there's been quite a bit of improvement, believe it or not. It used to be much worse than this.

I couldn't really look after myself but luckily stayed in mum's warden controlled flat even though, technically, I was too young too, at Kinmond Court, until last week.

Shouldn't be here that long . now that I can travel .. but there are things that have to be sorted out .. but I've lots to do to then.

Hi to the people, up there. who said to keep my blog up .. the young people used to talk about what I#d just written. Some said they were praying for me and ... one asked if it was possible if I could be there MP, Was while I was talking about books for schools. and asking people to either get their school vouchers from the supermarkets or ask the person behind if they wanted them .. seemed wrong tp not have them when the schools could do with the equipment. Also thought that schools and colleges should have more after school time both for fun and help in education if people wanted it.


If the country really did help .. guess these things could quite easily be done .. but it'd have to come down from government levels first I guess,

I don't quite know how you start something like that but maybe internet zines that get like minded people together and becoming a pressure group to get things changed from that.

Sunday

She's not had a good couple of days really ..reduced the pain meds much too fast and has found that it's made her feel tired. forgetful and a bit sickly. There seems to be more freedom around the tummy ehich might be making her feel sickly as well.

One of her illnesses became a little worse too .. but its settled down again. Auto immune illnesses are nasty aren't they. They're where your immune system goes into overdrive and starts being a little too enthusiastic .. often as u get a bit older but not always .. anyway she;s decided to slow the pain reduction down a bit.

She's been out though and got food in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway .. hope she's feeling better soon .. she stopped taking all the ibuprofen and reduced some of the rest .. isn't feeling too bad but wants to sleep a lot. Still, shows things are going in the right direction

What

It's so interesting .. and I wish I could say so much more, I sit here thinking about it and come up wiyh questions. The one we don't know the answe to is why.

I mean .. she hardly mentioned the place or what was going on .. so, wouldn't it have been better, to keep what ever they were so desperate to keep secret, and a good part of it has to be that .. they thought she knew something she didn't .. or, she was so clever that she'd find out and broadcast it to her readers .. or that she'd say something. inadvertantly, that would lead to something being found out .. possibly the latter.

She hardly said anything about what was happening there .. I mean .. nothing .. in fact hardly mentioned it at all. Wouldn't've said anything if they'd not started it .. and then only told about a millionth or something of what was going on.

There has to be something strange going on underneath all this .. and hopefully my book will sort it out,

It can only be done that way because the lies will never stop that end and is why I can't really put bits and pieces up on the net.

Another thing I'd like to know // is that there are some kids there who appeared to really love her and look out for her .. trouble was there was no way she really get to meet them. From what I've worked out .. they worked out or knew thwe story behind all this .. and I still think that they thought she was going to find something out, They totally started what went on seemingly for no reason after they found out who was blogging .. she'd hardly mentioned the place trhen .. and whoosah .. a load of rubbish began.

Something had to be going on. She wondered if someone had already told a load of lies and was trying to cover up and totally screwed it up and it just snowballed. I think it's more than that.

Think some of it is drugs related. She thinks some of the people are dealers .. said she'd soon know the answer to that one.

But I think it goes way beyond that .. too much trouble for virtually nothing.

I'm writing quickly but I am stuck on this.


What happened was soooooo over the top just for finding out someone they didn't know personally was blogging that something had to be going on.

Anyway .. it's my baby now and I'm much more curious than she was ...

blogging for u

Wot fun .. I'm someone else!!!!!!!! I know I won't really sound like her .. but I'll do my best .. lol ..well, think I got the lol right ... first of all I wrote ha ha cause that's what I usually say but I guess I'll get used to writing lol now!!!! lol!!!! Anyway we've found a way round all this. I do wish she wasn't leaving but she's said .. no way .. she's said she's moving and she doesn't want to let people down.

Thestory she has to tell is amazing .. for the cool people there as well as the assholes who as someone said saeemed to think they were back in medieval times.

The shitheads thought she wouldn't be able to leave and also didn't know how long she'd lived where she does now. I mean it's very. vbery obvious how ill she's been // christ. if you can't see the difference you're either say a tad forgetful or you're lying.


It is a fascinating story ... I wish I could write morew up here but she says, no, cause she wants it all out at once so nothing can be misunderstood because some people there don't mind where they cause trouble .. and that still means in the town.

That's about issues that aren't already in the media though .. so. I'll say this .. it's not long since a club there had to change it strange.ause it was publicising hard drugs. When she chatted to one person who knew a lot about it she was trold that it was to try to get custom. I think that kinda shows a very strange mind set both in peoples opinions of the town. Very weird .. what would be ok .. and what wouldn't .. if nothing else. Rather saetting up people who might be attracted there too. Really odd attitude. Seems to me whatever your opinion of hard drugs and or the town,this was very, very .... odd to say the least.

I could go on for hours ... and I will.

It'seasy to write about cause it is so weird .. and also she's done so much for me ... lol!!!!!!!'s another story

There's another almost identical story from there .. though this time the place wasn't asked to change it's name .. but iut kinda gave out a rathger unpleasant message which you'd've thought the owner might have felt wise to avoid ..it's possible that this was done for a different reason than was first apparent .. but you'd still have thought the owner night;ve thought it was bad for trade and not humdinging for the town .. it did dhut before the recession,

She was very popular in the couple of places she did go out to now and then. Didn't go so often when it looked as if her health might pick up but, previously, had a nice time out at places there. But these two places just totally flumoxed her She's no idea about the second one ... no one explained it to her,

etc

Think what she desribed was very interesting .. it seems Spirit knew what she was going to think or something. Totally not understandable on this plane of existance. I believe in life after life now too .. she's actually so cautious about going there.. says she can't see any other explanation.

found

I've found other lost posts and they can go up .. just the same twice over though. Guess, probably not so much on the blink as sorting things out.

Hello

I've said ,, go down the library too ..etc .. yeah .. there're all kinds of ways of getting round this. And, yeah .. the pooter's on tre blink ..lol!!! She can talk though .. looks as though saomeone was trying to feed this onwe chocolate .. not recommended. She says .. too true can attract mine. Can clog up the works too.

Pleased to have her back.

Think blogger had trouble earlier on though rather than it being this computer as the earlier posts didn't post. It's ok npw though ... hopefully..

Anyway, I'll be testing the languages .. good way of starting to learn them myself .. lol

etc

This is making me laugh .. it's either that or going up the wall!!! Deary me .. it's probably that I don't know the icon lay out and it has very fast reactions!!!!!!!

I'm glad this is the way it is cause I really do need to learn to draw as I want to and get back on with my languages. Spent too long before on gaming sites etc, Lots oif fun but not what IU should've been doing.
in the oart that gets
Still won't be talking about the esotwereioc stuff .. it was like saying that I was talking about something to someone connected to purple butterflies between us and then I'd see it played out in purple butterflies in a charity shop!!! You tell people that and trhey'll do it themselves.

It seems to have moved on though to something trhat isn't so easy to understand .. but I'm game .. good school this is thiough a bit confusing Whatever .. doubt if it'll confuse them // t6hey seem to h\ave their minds well sorted out. I hope they don't go. I do know that what happened there can't happen here .. not enuff purple buttwerflies or whatever.

Anyway .. have to go now.

Bye fer now.

And, oh, thanks to the lovely people in the place up there who did know, from a long time back, who did know who I was, who never lwet on. Not one word. Including people who can vouch for me in lots of ways. lol!!!!

3

I'm sure it's me .. wish she'd come back. Won't come over very often I don't think even when she's set the pooter up .. too far and I don't really fancy the journey and can't ride tandem /// lol

She's getting a new computer but think I'll say she can use mine til she does .. she szaid thiss one has problems .. and it's either me or I didn't quite understand the word problems,

I won't be here that long and can just do me drawing and languages til I move on again. We were talking earlier and I said there's no way I'm going to get the privacy I want here cause people knew who I was last time I was here after Lemuure appeared on the net .. so they still will unless they're suffering from collective amnesia.

I've proved that I can do the journey .. actually it turned out that it seems to have relaxed my muscles some rather than doing what it used to do on long journeys!!!! And the pain wasn't sio bad this morning. Surprizingly so .. going to the doctors on Tuesday to see about coming off as much as I can.

Try this way. The way I access things is slightly differeent on trhis pooter I think .. itr's a bit older than mine.

Right .. just lost my post .. so it's going to have to be a m uch smaller one as me computer's round a friends house which is where it's going to stay til I lewave .. no point in setting up a computer here if I'm lewaving soon .. which I will now, now that I know that I can travel without becoming too ill.

Brrrrmmmm brrrmmm!!!

Four hours to go!!! It's been sad sorting out what I;m taking back .. like looking through a Marie Crleste of a life that was suddenly abandoned. I was obviously still hopeful about things .. just didn't have the energy to carry anything through.

Just got a little bit more to do and then I'm ready to be off. Go and have breakfast now. Didn't sleep last night but will try and dose on the way down. Might get a couple of hours.

Blimey .. hey!!! Not long now.

I won't be getting any sleep tonight I don't think .. well, I won't .. but will try and sleep in the afternoon tomorrow. I'm getting excited now. Just spending me time sorting out so that everything's ready.



I'd hoped to get quite a bit sorted out before I left but it hasn't worked out that way but I know I'll get it sorted once I'm back. I think I'll be doing more than I first planned .. difficult to know where to start though .. so much experience round so many things!!!!!!! I'm looking forward to it all anyway .. will keep me busy.



Really hadn't been well enough before.



Well, that's not quite true, it's not at all difficult to know where to start .. that's been in my head for the past few days. I was sitting worrying about it .. as my brother might say .. the muse had deserted me. Is that just for poetry? I don't know .. I've never been able to write poetry so if it is .. Paddington never arrived .. let alone pottered off.



Oh Paddington where are you ?



Near Ladbroke Grove maybe?



I left you a long time ago



And now it seems you've padded those furry paws



A long way away away from me.



Where are those paws dripping marmalade across the page



Away in Tennessee.



Well, it rhymes with me



And is quite near Peru



So I wonder as you do



If the muse has packed his suitcase and padded off to Aunt Lucee.



Though, to be honest I don't think I could write poetry if I had a thousand Paddington's to inspire me.

??????

People who haven't spoken to me for a while often want to know if I'm still interested in life after death and react happily when I say that I am. Don't seem to need any thing else from me so I guess are just checking that I'm OK with it for my own sake rather than just for their own happiness.

It's nice hearing the happiness in their voices anyway. Sometimes I have my doubts though I'm not sure why cause there comes a time when you have to say that not taking note is pretty silly. It's no stranger not being able to explain that than it is not being able to explain what started all this off in the first place.

It's been interesting discussing the books and learning either through what's been said or people's reactions to it.

I guess it can't really be done if you use a lot of mind altering substances because it's difficult to know what's real or not. Neither is it easy if you're spiteful because that must take priority in the mind. . If you play games and twist things a lot it's hard to react to this kind of thing in a useful way because people twist things so much that the brain seems to just do it by preference. Guess it's something to do with building those neural pathways again.

The exception to this appears to be NDEs but even then it can happen it seems. Though ofcourse these people might not be telling the truth about having had one. I've found two people being caught out in the same way. It seems to be something they can't quite get their heads around when trying to imagine what would happen. I'd've thought that logic would've helped them out here but it seems not and I think it is because while they're very used to twisting things this is so outside everyday experience that they have nothing in their memory to fall back upon that will help them automatically from the subconscious.

The mistake is very odd but I discovered with one guy that some people who appeared to be the same way inclined couldn't pick the mistake out .. or, at least. not to start with, when it was very, very obvious, I thought this very strange.

They make lots of mistakes though which I'd've thought they would be wise to in themselves. But I think some of it maybe that they think you're so unimportant that it doesn't really matter or they think other people are so silly that they won't even notice or won't care.

The Windmill

Was just talking to someone and they started talking about The Windmill .. it's up Brixton Hill .. there's a real windmill up there but this isn't it!! Yeah .. well, I missed them. Doesn't matter. I was told the bands that play there sometimes are on tour and sometimes come to play and pass the bucket round. Sounds really really nice .. and I'm told it is. I don't think I'd go out often for live music now but I'd've shifted me butt up there to see Golden Animal.

How cool that they played there .. guess it was a really neat choice of venue too.

Badgers etc.

I went to get the print of Bath Street that was in the window of the secomd hand shop near Jefferson Gardens this afternoon to give to someone either for themselves or to give to the veggie cafe in Bath Street but it'd gawn so .. um I made do with the book on life after death instead .. fer meself. Well, I'd seen the print almost a week ago .. was it one of Bath Street and one of Regent Street .. can't remember the other one really. Think they were Victorian. Just thought it'd be nice for them to have it .. but it's like the badgers .. a week later doesn't really cut it ... lol!!

Though it panned out ok in some ways with the badgers. Even though I didn't go back for them the next morning like I should've done when I did go back a week later there were two new figures there with black and white striped faces. Didn't buy them to start off with .. but did on me last hospital visit .. I call them me badgerbears .. and they remind me of the badgers I left behind. Teach me not to examine what I'm buying.

Also bought a nice black hooded jacket with green stars on it from Barnardo's to take back wiv me.

Christ .. look at me accent changing already mate!!! lol!!!!

Last visit to the hospital

Had to laugh. The hospital have been treating me and now I'm treating the hospital.. or, at least. one of the staff's friends (though .. and them too, but especially, the friend) Was my end of treatment visit .. just to get my notes rounded off. Was meant to go in yesterday but had cancelled my appointment so was got in today .. lol!!!

There were tears in peoples eyes when I turned up and I thought it was because I was leaving and they'd miss me. Well, they will .. it's been a long time I guess. But, more than that I was leaving without a proper talk about the herbs and they know people who could benefit from what I've discovered. Well, they can tweak it to whatever is needed.

When I was told about one friend I understood .. bit the same as myself. Well, serious underlying health issues .. which. hopefully, the herbs might ease. I hope they do. Really glad I went in.

I'll send some teas too for this person to test out.

That's the second lot of me teas that have gone to a health place.

I need to get in touch with someone else there too but I'll write once I'm back home.

Funny how things work out. I'm very, very glad I went in. I was going to take in samples of the teas before .. when my meds were reduced .. but just never got round to it. Well, I was always late going in .. lol .. could've packed them the night before though I guess.

Anyway, it's sorted. Hope it all helps

Allied Healthcare

I'm just going to give a thumbs up to Allied Homecare!!! Brilliant. The effort they put in to sorting things out for me was wonderful. They're not the people who were looking after me before and I guess I just want to say how good they've been when they were needed.

Tuesday

No. I didm't go to see him. I did wonder whether to go across and see if there were any tickets left but thought it better to carry on sorting things out here. Would've been disappouinted if I had gone to see about the tickets and then found there weren't any left. I hasd womdered if I really should go as I wasn't really going with the hope of getting a message .. just really wanted to experience being there and seeing how things went. Ofcourse, I guess, I would've been pleased if I had got one which was accurate in its detail and where it would've been very, very difficult if not impossible for him to have got the info from any other way than the way he said he was. Well, yeah, that would've been nice. I don't know if you're able to ask questions about his books etc at things like this. Maybe I could just write and ask what I'd like to know. I've still to read his animal book though



Did go to Kenilworth though this afternoon to have a look at the two health stores they have there and was surprized to see that they both carried Organic India's tulsi tea and one had raspberry and strawberry white tea bags with the other one stocking Yogi's tulsi tea with Mint. I decided to go last night .. they also had Yogi's hibiscus with ginger. The shelves were pretty empty as far as these went though so I guess they were having to wait for new deliveries.

The herbs are interesting .. think the hibiscus one has tumeric in it. One of the stores also stocked Jan de Vries Dutch Tea Baga!!!!!! I bought a box ... lol!!! It's just a mixture that's been handed down in his family for generations rather than a new put together blend for a particular kind od problem.

I probably won't go in Wimbledom either really. Well, think I was being overly optimistic as far as the tickets went anyway. Think if I'd really wanted to go should've tried here. Doesn't matter though.

.................................

When you're in a situation where so many lies have been told it becomes impossible to know who's telling the truth or what's behind anything that's said.

Manipulation, lies, lies and more lies.

I suppose I'm in a situation where I should've listened to what I was told right at the beginning but I thought it was rather far fetched .. it wasn't. Totally contradictory to a point where it's so weird that you really do wonder if you're in the real world figuratively speaking.

Hey, hey .. turned the music off now. That was really nice to listen to. I can feel my brain cells almost pinging with appreciation. Just going to let me tea cool down then off to bed.

Can't quite remember how but I found myself reading about some guy back in Medevial Britain the other day .. after reading it I thought back to what I'd read about the Ancient Greeks and Romans and how it was thought that they saw things differently from people in the modern world because of the way their brains were formed .. that they had a harder time differentiating between dreantime so to speak and reality and this explained their religions. I took this up to what I was reading about this bloke and his life .. well, the end of his life .. then I took it to today and really I couldn't see much difference in peoples behaviour except that laws are different.

All it shows is that the veneer of civilization was very thin in past times and it still is.

It's part of the reason I find it so hard to believe in life after death. I mean .. how can this be so if spirit are emotionally and morally kind and loving. It just makes me wonder if I've got it wrong .. but I have what I have and memories as far as the rest of it goes and I've bothered to study and talk to people to find out what it's all about outside of my own life. Might've been taken in a couple of times throughout it all but kbow, for the main part, that people have been telling the truth when they've spoken about their own experiences.

I do find it hard to connect the seeming reassurance from spirit and the cruelty on this planet.

It has always been a problem for me when I think it through.

Anyway, off to bed now.

Kind of enjoying music that gets into every pore and brain cell

http://www.happypartsrecordings.com/artists/goldenanimals.html

Nice to hear something that makes the mind smile.

Good heavens.

And there's one band on the site who lists Buffy Sainte Marie as one of their influences. Now, isn't that just amazing!!! They're from New Zealand which I suppose makes it all the more surprizing. Thought they'd be from The States or Canada with maybe someone from the native peoples in their band.

I thought she'd got lost through the years. She had a hard enough time back in the day because of the government but she was just so talented as a musician and poet.

I had to look twice at this band's influences after thinking I'd spotted Musical Youth as I clicked away from the page .. they don't sound like Musical Youth and when I went back to have another look I saw Buffy Sainte Marie's name too.

True spirituality

Been a strange day really .. seems summer .. where was that again .. has gone though let's hope September is nice and mild.

We were talking about spirituality and attitude for a little while last night. I said that it seemed sad that New Age spirituality seemed very concerned with material things which I thought wasn't really what it should be based in. I'm not saying that everyone should go and meditate in the desert or anything like that but it seems, in a lot of cases this kind of spirituality revolves around getting what you want.

I overheard a conversation today where someone was talking about cosmic ordering and their lack of success .. surprize, surprize.

Maybe they need to buy the new book I was e mailed about or pay the thousand dollars to do a course on much the same subject that I was also e mailed about .. reduced from 2,000 dollars.

Didn't take them up on their offers.

I just think that spirituality should be kept separate from things like that .. I just don't see the connection.

Maybe it should just be referred to as a kind of religion as it needs faith and belief but not spirituality.

I wasn't surprized to hear the conversation. I'd kept an open mind about how these people related to spirituality and it seems that, at the moment, things like cosmic ordering are very popular.

It's the same with belief in life after life .. which to me is another spiritual thing as it's the belief in the growth of soul .. you have to find your own way there really. I believe spirit will help but only if you help yourself along the path.

Musically, it's said that there's a 60s revival taking off .. West coast influenced .. I've heard a few of the bands and I think they're very good. I think it's the first time I've heard the musical spirit of the age captured so well, I've heard attempts before but this is the first time I've heard people get there .. while still being modern too.

I suspect it'll be the new Indie sound rather than influencing the singles chart too much. Though some Indie bands cross over .. don't know if these will it's so far away from pop as it is at the moment. That's a very broad statement but I think it's quite accurate.

I was just wondering what it might bring with it in terms of thoughts and books and art etc and whether it will have much, if any, influence on society.

Was wondering what had influenced it too. The Vietnam war was a big force behind the 60's hippy movement that produced the West coast music etc. Is it just a love of the music .. a bit like the blues influencing some musicians of the 69's or is there something in soceity bringing it on too.

My younger friends understand the climate problem though they're very cynical now .. not about the causes of climate change but the way it can be manipulated one way or another to further individuals present needs. I was sent a link the other day to a business site that was parading the names and biographies of 10 scientists who dpn't avvept carbon based climate change. If you weren't a no global warming skeptic before I think that could be enough to turn you green over night.

I don't know if that's partially behind the revival, or the Iraqui war, or, maybe a rebellion against a bling/celebrity driven soceity .. or, maybe it's just time for a change and this is the rebellion against the fashions of the past years.

Obviously, I'm not part of it, a diferent generation entirely .. I've lived most of my life on the earth plane now .. these people are much where I was in the 60's in that respect though some of my younger friends seem to think I'm still very much part of the earth plane despite the seeming thining of the veil .. and that I know what's going on and understand etc.

They're me friends though .... lol!!! We're similar, just in different generations. It's not difficult to connect from my side and they understand me too pretty well.

But, back to a more generalized spirituality. If people don't want to be convinced of something they won't be. I forget the % of young people who said they didn't know if the holocaust was real or not in a fairly recent survey but it was high enough to really shock me. So, no learning curve.

So WW11 didn't happen either maybe.

I could say anything, show anything but it still wouldn't make a difference to those with closed minds but I know it will when taken to the right people who are really interested.

It was easy to see how deep and along what lines any spiritual interest went with people, en masse and individually generally. The conversation I overheard today .. disappointing but not in the least surprizing. Think I would've been surprized if it was any other way. Maybe spirit's been around me this way because they knew I wasn't really looking and if I was I'd be content and happy with this.

Gosh, there's some really good music on lp33 isn't there. Not just 60s influenced music but just really good stuff with good musical and lyrical content. Not conveyor belt music at all. Even a lot of indie music sounded very, very similar but there's a good selection of original sounds here that are really good.

Dunno if this is part of a change in fashion. I've been told about other music too but haven't followed it up yet. Some of the stuff taken up by the media that I've listened to I haven't taken to especially if it sounds as if it's been put together to make a quick buck .. especially lyrically .. rather than being innovative.

Love the way the musician's pages are put together too and the site as a whole but I do wish that everyone would complete their profiles etc.

Gud night

Will be doing a bit more packing then off to bed .. doesn't matter what time I go to bed at the moment I sleep about the same .. about 12.30 seems a good time to go to bed at the moment.

You know, if you invented this place people would say it was too far fetched to be real. I remembered a novel that I read in the 60s that reminded me of here .. can't remember it's name now but I'm sure it'll come to me sometime. Don't think it was a very well known book .. but if I Google enuff I might turn it up .. thinks .. Eastern Venture .. well, maybe not!!

I thought that Goofle used to be better than it is now .. but I suppose it depends what results you're looking for. Goofle really was a typing error ... lol!!!! Ofcourse I meant Google. Maybe when I thought it was better it was just that the results I wanted and the results Google turned up coincided.

Anyway .. computer off!!!

Gud night.

Wednesbury

I was talking about Wednesbury the other day. Interested in a way cause of the case Associated Provincial Picture Houses v Wednesbury Corporation where, under judicial review, the standard of unreasonableness was decided for further legal cases.

I wondered if the cinema was still there ... lol!!!

Back in 1948 the local authorities in Wednesbury issued a licence to the cinema on the grounds that no children were to be allowed in on Sundays. I don't know if this was on religious grounds or because it was thought that older people should have the cinema to themselves on one day a week .. I would think it was for the former reason .. on religious grounds.

The cinema, not surprizingly, tried to get this overturned, seeing that children were off schools on a Sunday and they could hope that they would come to the cinema.

I'd've thought that the cinema really had quite a good case .. after all, if adults could go the cinema on Sundays, why couldn't children? But, this wasn't how the court saw it.

The law that came out of this case stated that for the law to interfere with public body decisions the decision had to be so unreasonable that no reasonable person would ever have arrived at it.

Judicial review is when the law reviews decisions made by public bodies by examining them in a court of law and deciding whether they can stand as law as they are.

There were three points to this unreasonableness.

1. That points were taken into account that shouldn't've been.

2. That points were left out that shouldn't've been.

3. Resulting in a decision by a public body that just couldn't be seen as
reasonable.

The court looked at the decision by Wednesbury Corporation, applied these points, and decided that the decision not to let children in to the cinema on a Sunday wasn't so unreasonable that no public authority would not consder applying this as law.

Maybe it could be considered unfair but still couldn't be seen as totally unreasonable.

That was way back in 1948 and things have changed quite a bit since then, though the Wednesday Principles are still seen as good law. Irrationality was defined in 1985 in the GHCQ case for legal reference in regard to the Wednesbury principles as "Being so outrageous in its defiance of logic or accepted moral standards that no sensible person who applied their mind to it could have come to this conclusion" .. or words similar to that anyway ... lol!!!. The Human Rights Act 1998 which came into force in 2000 meant that any decisions should be made within the context of this law so they would be considered both in terms of irrationality and illegality in respect to the GRA 1998.

Also, now, there's the question of proportionality becoming a test in judicial review .. this is where the decision has to be seen as being proportionate to the problem.

It's a softer approach than the Wednesbury priniple .. proportionality states that the outcome must be in proportion to the seriousness or not of the case .. don't use a sledgehammer to crack a nut as one judge put it. And is often used in human rights cases where there are conflicting interests.

I wonder if proportionality would've altered the Wednesbury decision if it had been around in 1948. I think banning kids from cinemas on a Sunday was rather heavy handed and not proportional .. but it was a different era then so my way of seeing it would be different. There was no Sunday opening for major shops then .. infact, Sunday opening was defeated in Parliament in 1986 when Mrs Thatcher's government tried to extend the very limited Sunday opening hours of the time so it's easy to see why the Wednesday decision was made in 1948.

I blogged about all this after coming back from Wednesbury one day after another lovely day there, talking to lovely interested and interesting people of all ages. You get there on the Metro .. which was another adventure for me. I'd gone to have a look round .. mainly because I recognised the name because of the judicial review case and I just wanted to go and have a look round. Well, I did everywhere but, ofcourse, this had just kind of got into my mind, travelling on The Metro, when I'd seen Wednesbury station and thought something like Ooooooh, look .. Wednesbury!!!!

I'd come back and said what a lovely place it is. Went back a few more times. Just testing .. lol!!! And throughly enjoyed myself every time. Lovely charity shops .. at that time .. with lots of hippy type clothes in them.

Had a wonderful time.

Oh, yes, and The Wednesbury Picture House is now Walker's Bingo.

People said that I would like the Black Country and I did. Given that times change and apparently Britain is now broken .. as in Broken Britain, and everywhere apparently has it's problems. All, I can say is that I did like it and they were right.

Picking up the paper

I bought The Sun yesterday to read the front page about that poor kid's father who after what he's done to children insists he's a "good dad." I mean you just have to know why and how this could be, don't you cause, to my mind, unless you are in the middle of some deep, strange psychosis, it would be really impossible to believe this.

I just scanned it but think I got the idea. Is he trying to make people believe he is in the middle of some deep strange psychosis so that he can "recover."

I dunno .. really he's just coming across as someone trying to scam the system on top of akll he's done.

People don't act like that if they have any decency. It's that simple. The things he did he knew he was doing, knew they were wrong so the responsibility lies firmly with him. He just wanted to do them and that was it as far as he was concerned.

Not psychotic .. no .. otherwise he wouldn't've managed to live from day to day the way he did. Just very, very cruel.

I didn't follow the news reports so I have no idea if he was socially manipulative .. i.e. charming in public .. I suppose it might've depended on how much booze etc he had down him and how in control he was. Some of these people can hang on to the charade even after they'ver drunk a lot and still be charming in company.

I just wondered how he could ever say what he did though .. hpw he thought he could explain that one. Guess it really could be that he was aiming for a bit of a psychosis which he could then miraculously recover from. Doesn't pan out though.

Morning

I lay in bed not wanting to get up this morning. Listening to the clicking sound coming from around my neck and shoulders made me wonder if it was going to be really painful .. so I just lay there wondering what to do.

Ofcourse, I had to move eventually .. and to my relief, found it wasn't that bad. I can't wear a pain relief patch cause of my skin but even with that it has to be changed .. but I suppose it could be made to fit round the oramorph as it's every few days rather than every twelve hours.

Was surprized this morning though. I really thought that it was going to be horrendous when I moved to get out of bed .. but, while I was looking forward to my meds very much, it wasn't anything like as bad as I'd been expecting.

Have been feeling tired throughout the day though but guess that's not really surprizing.

So

Anyway, said it now .. so can't take it back ... lol!!! Had written about it a couple of times before .. draft .. delete ... draft ... delete. That almost got deleted too. The background to it will stay private anyway .. but that doesn't really matter if people just want facts rather than want to know more about someone's personal life.

With all the info already out there you have to realize that if people insist that, for some reason, that isn't good enough, and it has to come from you, even though they don't know you, they have an ulterior motive, so keeping part of it private will be fine if the researchers are genuine because the part I will be keeping private doesn't really matter for research purposes.

Anyway .. didn't delete it .. wouldn't really've mattered if I had I guess.

Very glad of the book .. well, I haven't read the book yet, just saw a small except from it in a magazine concerning the author, his partner and their dog and a gravestone which totally threw me .. then I had something verry similar happen to me .. except that it was much easier to verify that it wasn't a trick of the light or mind or anything like that.

It was very different in a way .. if what happened to them had happened to me I'd've found it very difficult to not say it was just a trick of the light or mind .. my experience was kinda different and I did search .. so I know. It would've been impossible to miss in this particular situation .. or they would've been impossible to miss.

I keep on thinking surely I must be wrong .. but, I know, in reality, that I wasn't.

Missed the bodgers!!!

Didn't make it to The Works to have a peek at their books today. I'm so pleased with the books I've picked up there and at the charity shops here. All packed and ready to go .. there're people looking forward to reading the ones that are new to them. Well, there are some I've still got to read!!! lol!!! Thanks very much to the people who donated them to the charity shops .. wish we could've met. As you probably realised there wasn't too much involved discussion where I used to go as the interest really only revolved around one aspect. Though having said that I'm very, very .. very .. pleased that I went. I came away with more knowledge than I went there with.

I have kind of proof now .. though I could've doctored it .. though there is some that I couldn't unless I have some pretty interesting people on my pay roll ... lol!!! I've sent the material proof to a friend for safe keeping. Did mess it up a bit by leaving the badgers in the shop but it still tells the correct story!!! If only I'd checked what it was all about before leaving the shop. Didn't really expect anything so interesting anyway. Should've gone back later first thing before anyone else had the chance to buy them .. they'd all been together as a little group. Still there you go.

Anyway .. they're with a friend now.

Have to say it's been very interesting. The books have been marvellous. Has been so good to have The Works here. Also helped me prove that I really was interested and willing to put time etc into learning rather than expecting everything on a plate.

Hope, if you've read the books .. or similar .. they've helped any interest you have. I've tried to show you how important it is not to be conned. The books I've mentioned that I liked really help .. um .. well, I think so anyway. lol!!

There is one person I would dearly like to meet .. could've done last year but had hoped that I would've left by the time he came here. Read something he'd written and I thought .. oooh .. er .. but. I now know that this can happen ... sigh!!!!

It was just apres flu and my immediate reaction was that I'd made a muistake .. but I'd near enough searched and I was far from having had a temperature of five billion and three if you know what I mean. I would've had to've tried very, very, very hard to make a mistake of this proportion just like he and his fella would've done .. it should've been impossible really. Well, it was boardering on the impossible and I was very taken aback. Wasn't too happy about it cause this time I couldn't begin to explain it in any kind of scientific terms or any other terms.

Um .. er .. just it was.

Anyway .. for those interested there's plenty of reading matter out there to give a good foundation if you have a real, humane and spiritual interest amd are interested in the same things I am. Tried to tell you to be careful and why.

I made the right decision not to say more than I have about my own experiences .. if I'd said more for it to've continued it'd've had to change because people would've tried to alter things and I wouldn't've been sure what was real and what wasn't in some respects. I would've been sad if things had had to change during my time here as far as that went.

It was also cool that I didn't have anything that I could really point to and say .. wow, look at this until now .. though I've messed one bit of it up a little.

Anyway, all that's in the care of my friend. I suppose my stories might end up in research with lots of other peoples. I've still got interesting books to read meself.

Friday

Spent the afternoon doing a lot of creative stuff .. when I should've been doing other things .. but it was a lot of fun.

Was in a bit of sharp pain when I last stood up but it eased off .. the pain is usually duller than that these days so it was a bit of a surprize .. didn't last long though .. was on my left side .. sort of tummy region. Only lasted a couple of minutes and from that there's new sensation in my right shoulder and the arch of my left foot. Maybe doctors could explain .. lol .. my knowledge of anatomy doesn't go there. I guess it's from the earlier movement and pain though.

Hadn't taken my pain relief so quickly went and took it.

Am going to experiment with the tumeric too.

I wish that I found it easier to kinda go for the placebo effect but it's been obvious through this that that isn't me. I was reading that for some people, as far as pain goes, that a placebo can even take the place of morphine for a while .. not long because the brain susses it out quite quickly. I could've done with something stronger to have taken the place of morphine at times and I know that a number of people feel like that .. it's not uncommon. I guess that must have something to do with the way you process it .. lets say that even on over a gram of morphine a day I've not needeed movicol.

I was going to look into pain relief after that doc said that no-one should ever need to think about visiting a Swiss clinic because of pain. Never did follow that up. I really would like to know if there was any reasonable truth behind that statement.

Hmmmm

Yesterday morning wasn't very good cause I'd left taking most of the evenings meds. I'd made a phone call after getting in from a lateish trip to Tesco and then wasn't sure if I'd taken them before I went out. I was pretty sure that I hadn't .. and even more so before I went to bed .. but I couldn't really take any risks with that kind of dosage of that kind of medicine .. so decided to leave it. I didn't feel too good when it was time to get up, though not as bad as I was expecting too, going on past experience. But, still, not good.

Anyway, back to normal again this morning, but I think it does take it out of you a bit.

Muscle movement is still very slowly changing how I move and breathe and that is tiring too. Something happened yesterday that made it obvious that something definitely is happening. Unpleasant feeling .. not painful, just unpleasant this time as some throat muscles shifted position very, very slightly. It's odd hearing the noises that go with the movement too .. but slightly reassuring I guess .. click, creak etc. I think it's making me feel extra sleepy too as my body gets use to processing more oxygen .. or I think that's what's happening .. my breathing has changed. Hopefully, a bit further down the line all this will lead to the opposite feeling .. and hopefully, if I can reduce the morphine too .. eventually I won't feel so tired at all.

Hu ... phew!!!

Almost deleted a post I hadn't put up .. just before the one about the nursing home. Just going through click, click, click .. the second click would've been that .. very short but very interesting conversations. I'm quite amazed that the info nestling in my memory hadn't been more to the front cause it's very relevant to a part of my life .. though, have to admit, I didn't really need to think about it and it might've been a bit distracting before.

There were things that could have done what that/those conversation/s did but maybe it just wasn't the right time. Maybe me brain knows wot it's doing as far as that goes ... lol!!! But, maybe there was more emotion attached to this than the previous times. It was different and I do think I know why it was different that time really. There was a slight shock attached to it .. though things weren't quite so off the wall as it first appeared .. almost, but not quite. Or, if they were headed that way they had improved a bit by part 2 of the conversation. Very, very interesting .

Anyway, I'm turning in now. Tea drank .. time fer bed,

The nursing home

Not sure whether to go say goodbye to the nursing home where mum stayed for some time before she passed over. She went there because she was suffering from Lewy Body's dementia .. something that can go with Parkinson's Disease .. and it wasn't really possible for her to stay with me anymore as she needed more than one person to look after her.

Still, she had the freedom she wanted for as long as possible and the nursing home was pretty good on that score too .. though obviously in a different way.

Still, she asked if I would stay here to be with her and I said I would .. did but became ill myself.

Gave the nursing home some money to buy something out of the little bit of money mum left .. they bought occupational therapy huts for the garden where the people could pretend they were going out for a cup of tea etc or to the shops .. something like that anyway. One had sand on the floor so must've been something to do with the seaside.

One woman whose husband had developed early onset dementia said it was these that had made her decide that this home was the one for her partner because it was obvious that they cared .. and, yes, the money was spent very wisely.

I gave the money because of the freedom aspect .. very difficult to manage in the situation.

I see that the ownership has changed hands so maybe I won't go. Was just going to pop in with a tin of chocolates like I used to every now and then to share between staff and residents. It used to make the people there so happy.

Remember the treks to Woolies and Tesco to get tins of chocs .. very good if they had them on special offer ... lol!!! Sometimes one place and sometimes the other. They had a fund you could donate to as well for extra treats for the people there.

Nah, don't think I'll go back.

Memory

I wrote a little while ago around the saying that the more things change the more they stay the same .. this was brought home to me again a little while back. Well, last Tuesday or Wednesday .. probably Tuesday when I pver heard part of a conversation ,, then, later that day, heard part two of it. Glad I heard both parts because it put something into perspective for me.

But it took me back a few years to before mum became really ill and what I knew about here just came from what people told me rather than first hand experience .. well, in the main.

What was said reminded me of two people .. I'd met both of them .. though knew their stories more through my family though did get to know about what had happened through talking to one of them.

Mum had a little more to tell me which I guess I saw confirmed one day so that was good in the way that I had seen with my own eyes and it wasn't just hearsay.

I'd mentioned something about it to someone a month or two back but most of it had gone to the back of my mind .. not forgotten but not really thought about either.

Then this rather unpleasant conversation brought it all back again. I'd not thought or discussed it much until today .. but today brought another piece of information back into the front of my mind. I think that's all I've got in there .. my brother might be able to shed a bit more light on it.

If this had come into my mind a couple or three years ago it would've put something into perspective for me. OK, I hadn't forgotten it but it wasn't something I'd sat and thought about so that I'd remember it in any detail. Well, it was a long time ago, comparatively, for the relevant situation.

But, it is very relevant. Strange that it should have stayed nestling more or less in the back of my mind until I heard someone say something which wasn't about that .. only in attitude amd it brought it all back .. bit by bit. Still didn't sit and think about it .. well, not til today when I uncovered the last bit of info nestling in my memory

..........

Must say it's very different now as far as staying in touch with people goes if you're away because of email though it's still nice to hear peoples voices on the phone. It's nice being able to send the same thing to lots of people and just personalize it where you need to .. and they get oodles of news and chat just as you write it. Some people still say that receiving a letter is nicer than email and that it's really lovely to get handwritten letters. I'm happy with both. Think email is wonderful as far as staying in touch goes.

And blogging too ofcourse .. lol!!! I know a few families who keep in touch partially through blogs and diaries.

A change of docs again

Went down to me docs today to give him the address of the surgery I'd like to join back home .. it's nearer where I live than the one I belonged to before .. was a bit more active when I left to come up here to look after mum. Though, not much nearer really when I think about it I guess. Anyway, that's sorted now. Obviously, it helps with an illness like mine if the new doctor knows about it before I move as I'm very ill.

I'm leaving my bro all tead up .. lol. I saved his life soon after coming up this way .. doubt if the teas will need to do anything that drastic but hopefully they'll ease the way a bit.

As far as the flu goes he does have underlying illnesses but so must've many, many, many, many etc people who've had it who're fine. It was different for me as my immune system is battened down by the medication I'm on so I would've had a harder time fighting back against it .. and I'm on a high dose of the medication too .. but it looks as if I've come through it ok. My brother has three conditions that could be seen as underlying illnesses in regards to this strain of flu so I think he's doing the right thing as regards the teas go.

I'm going to have to check on the liquorice someone's eating .. the sweets have a mixture of liquorice extract and anise flavour ro flavour them. Blimey, I say just drink a mug or two of liquorice tea a day .. and he eats a whole bag of these without checking!!!!!! I have to say though that molasses and wheatflour are the main two ingredients followed by liquorice extract and anise flavour so I guess it's not much. He was fine. But I'm going to check!!!

I wondered if eating a few of these sweets twice a week might help weaken any virus you pick up .. still thinking of the women who apparently got rid of a virus by eating a few sticks of liquorice infused confectionary. You need to check what you're eating though.

Yummy. I would like some Venco katjesdrop sweeties but I tink O've ad the flu so it's too late though maybe I might really prefer soft liquorice these days .. in me aulde age .. lol!!! Maybe I need some for the seasonal flu anyway!!!

I dunno ,, lol.

Anyway .. pleased I've sorted the teas out for my brother .. his favourite medicinal tea is white tea flavoured with raspberry which he brews for 10 minutes rather than 3 which I think is normally recommended for white tea so that he can get the full taste and full medicinal use out of it .. otherwise you feel that you're wasting it.

..........

I'm not taking all that much with me .. just a few cds amd dvds .. books a few clothes ... and my teas .. I bought quite a few packs of those to start with but haven't been drinking them at the rate I thought I would. Have given some away.

They've been wonderful. I found a herbal book in The British Heart Foundation shop that looks as if it's going to be very helpful .. not a big book but it has a lot of information and anecdotal evidence.

Someone asked me if I was going to carry on blogging once I was back home and when I said I would asked if I'k put up info about anything I found that worked herbally.

As far as the flu went my only regret was not drinking more tea. I did use the star anise but in future I'll grind them up and use a tea infuser like my brother's friend does with his valerian. That must work too cause he's still taking it. His doc wouldn't let him have sleeping pills cause he's on other meds and he drinks alcohol before sleeping. The doc wasn't happy with this combination so refused to prescribe sleeping pills.

I might try camomille tea bags to start off with and see if they have any effect .. just pop one in with the evening tea and see what happens.

I'm very glad that I've learmt more about the herbs and spices. I'm not to surprized that they've helped cause after all a n herbal mixtureslot of medicines are derived from plants. Didn't expect a cure all as I mentioned before but was just looking for something that would flatten down the virus enough to give my battered immune system a chance to fight back and that must've been what happened I guess.

Would drink more though now and make my own blends and grind the star anise up.

Have no idea if that works or not in that form .. possibly not but it's nice .. has a lovely scent.

Anyway, time to turn in. I feel quite strange at the moment because of the muscle movement .. my poor lungs are having to work extra hard in difficult circumstances at times at the moment. But it's what I've been doing the exercises for so I can't complain!!!!


Oh, yes .. I will.

cont .....

Going on from there I read an article about brain imaging and whether it can show links between the way the brain is formed and the way people behave. I've written about this a few times now. It's not the first time this has come up but I really can't remember the conections mentioned before .. it wasn't anything to do with the right frontal lobe.

This report was inconclusive anyway because it's known that we can change our brain to a certain degree by what we do .. what we learn and how we behave and the people doing the study just had the evidence at a certain point to go on and it would be reasonable to speculate about the reasons for the present situation being anywhere along that line from it being a physical condition the people had no input into to one where their behaviour was totally responsible for how things are.

I wrote about how we grow connections in our brain when we learn and do things .. if I remember rightly it takes about a month to grow one. Going by that it would be quite possible for behaviour to be the cause of brain similarities in people around certain types of behaviour.

I think here .. have to admit that I didn't read the last article that closely .. it was connected to having a hair trigger response to things in a way that could cause a lot of problems. What I read wasn't very detailed anyway .. I can't remember any information that would show if it was a hair trigger response accounting for these people being in the investigation or whether it was something planned.

I remember it being suggested one time that this kind of behaviour including both sorts of responses .. planned and tair trigger .. were the result of difficult childhoods which suggested that it was behaviour that would make the difference .. though maybe in childhood.

There is an article in Lemuure's blog about epigenetics that shows that early behaviour can affect how a young person's brain forms rather than it happening through genetics

http://blogginglemuures.blogspot.com/2008/07/why.html

And we know that behaviour and learning in later life can affect how the brain forms too.

What they don't know is whether what they discovered in common with these guys with seemingly the same problem is how and when it formed.

Yawn .. I have to go to bed now or I'll fall asleep here again like I did last night.

The more things change the more they stay the same

We've just had another E in our group .. not for long though .. first real sign of trouble and I blocked her. Really cold person who was obviously a bit of a control freak too. Funny thing with these people their profiles are often really fluffy and warm along with lots of talk about friendship and warnings about what they refer to as pervs and freaks .. was going to put etc there .. but that usually doesn't come into their list.

This woman is vile .. really there's no other word for her .. really cold, a control freak and very manipulative.

Doesn't have any substance abuse problems I don't think. It's possible that E does though I wouldn't say for sure but people I know who know about these things say that it sounds that way. I don't know but she sure has problems .. she's playing games with everyone in her new circle now .. knows just how to lie and manipulate .. picks people she thinks are vulnerable or will protect her once she's manipulated them enough to believe her lies.

As someone said about this latest one .. metaphorically speaking ofcourse .. another one for the garbage heap.

I was really shocked a couple of weeks ago too. I mentioned that I would be contacting the council about something .. and I will because hopefully it'll protect some of the most vulnerable people here .. though will probably wait til I'm back home .. haven't time to do it now. I was asked to try to sort this out so I will.

But it wasn't just this .. which could have caused very vulnerable people problems .. but it also turned out that I'd been lied to. She'd agreed with me about something which was really about not being prejudiced about certain things. It was something which I guess had become a bit of a focal point here. Them, one day, a lorry had driven past us as I was speaking and she didn't catch what I said .. lol .. or perhaps I should say lorra laughs .. though this wasn't funny at all .. and she agreed with what she thought I'd said but this time with such venom in her voice and such unpleasant descriptive language that it really took me aback.

I just said softly that wasn't what I'd said and that she must have misheard me. She went quiet.

This is the third time I've heard views like this in this situation .. just from different people. And away from this situation I've heard similar too.

I hadn't realized for one moment it was that bad,

I have to say that some of the nicest people I've met here are from the group of people being put down though, ofcourse, the niceness is inclusive of all groups .. unless they're a group formed because they have unpleasant views etc. I know the niceness goes across the different groups with that exception.

I was shocked because these people really expected me to agree with them .. fraid not .. and seemed to feel comfortable about it .. Yuk .. to put it mildly.

I was shocked when I first came here after being spoken to by a Jim Morrison look a like in the street who had BNP type views. Shocked by someone who looked liked a 1960's hippy expressing views like that.

Fraid I'm leaving feeling exactly the same including the conflicting ideals expressed through why they were with me and what they were saying.

The vaccine

I had already decided not to go for the vaccine. Was talking about my morphine making me feel tired in my last post .. and it certainly does. It just leaves you lacking in energy.

I'm also on meds, as you know, that can cause tumour growth and also there was a chance that I could've had a reaction to them that would've killed me in a few weeks. It's rare but could still have happened. Also they increase the risk of skin cancer and liver disease .. amongst other things.

Hopefully I'll soon be on a smaller dose than I am now. They have been reduced recently.

Because of the strain my body's already under I've decided not to go for the swine flu vaccine. I think I've had the flu anyway. Someone said to me here, in the street, that the feeling of cold had been a common symptom here .. or words to that effect. And I was saying last night that I'd never felt anything like it before in my life. I've had cold feet before when I've been ill but never anything like what I was feeling that morning.

Guess I'd caught the flu the day before .. I've been told that I would know almost immediately if I did catch it because I'm already feeling ill and I'd just start feeling noticeably different and worse .. wouldn't be infectious just that it would be such an added strain on my system that I'd start feeling very different and ill very quickly. That must've been this incredible total body sensation of icy freezing cold.

I got up and staggered to the bathroom and sat under the warm air heater for a while to warm up. Warmed through again after about quarter of an hour though still felt dazed and confused by what had happened. Got my meds sorted out and bunged down various herbs and spices in different forms and hoped for the best.

Had no idea what had happened .. there was no sign of a new cold and anyway this didn't feel like any cold or bug I'd had before or that I'd read about.

Got breakfast sorted too. Was soon feeling a lot better. Wasn't exactly warm .. had cold feet and was a bit cooler than usual.

If I had picked the bug up very recently .. say the day before because that seemed to be what would be expected in my case because it would just make me feel ill rather than coldy and I wouldn't be infectious at that stage .. was just buckling under the strain of having the flu virus at all.

The virus wouldn't get far with me I guess in that way.

I didn't know at then about going feeling ill very quickly though .. found out about that later when I wondered if I'd been exposed to the virus and phoned for advice. Still don't know as the profession group who should have dealt with this didn't phone me back to let me know what the situation was. I've been advised to complain to the council so that it's not dealt with this way again. They weren't medical people but they still should've had this sorted out. The medical people I know were furious about what happened. I will sort it out but it may take til after I'm home. I did contact the professional group twice .. once to tell them what had happened and then to tell them what my doc had to say about the situation and how it had put seriously ill people at risk and what to do.

Never heard a peep out of them about it but I should've done in the circumstances.

Fortunately I think I've had the virus .. can't be 100% sure ofcourse .. but people think it's very likely.

It's most likely I'd've picked it up from what I'd bought or while I was out the day before and had started to feel ill relatively quickly .. not that I was aware that would happen at the time .. found that out because of this other incident later on.

Kept myself covered pretty well in the right spots with the hand gel cause I was doing that anyway and as soon as there were possible symptoms .. sneezes .. stayed in.

Whatever it was it was very, very strange but it seems that there is often a feeling of intense cold attached to the swine flu bug. I've warned people that this could be a possible symptom and that it could possibly come early on ..very early on if you're in my kind of position.

My two friends in London who caught it said they had feelings of chills but not quite like the total coldness that I felt but they certainly had chills that were pretty cold.

Anyway .. that's how things started.

I think it most likely was the flu .. though my symptoms were very light .. amazing comsidering the dose of immune suppressants I'm on. I it was the flu I should've stopped my cellcept at the first sign of symptoms .. but there you go. That is what the drug company who makes them has decided .. at least for my type of illness .. don't know about all illnesses.

Whatever .. I think, in my case, it might not be a very good idea to have the vaccine after weighing up both sides of the situation

Pain and pain relief.

Generally speaking I'm not in as much pain as I used to be in. I guess, as far as the muscle and bone side of things go, things have improved a lot since the days when I could only walk as far as Waterstones without a rest .. though I had to rest because it was difficult to breathe then as well because my lungs were so constricted. But there was a lot of pain too then as well.

In those days the morphine worked much better because my body hadn't become so accustomed to it. I'm on heaps of the stiff now. Don't like it because it makes me feel pretty drowsy during the day while not being able to actually all asleep for long at night.

Once I get home I'll probably start trying herbal sleeping remedies .. I'd prefer to use them rather than sleeping pills if I can. Will try a dose of night nurse first at home to see if that will help .. it has before. If not .. I'll only take two or three dises at the most .. I'll try the herbal sleeping remedies.

My brother knows someone who finds valerian helps him .. grinds it up himself with a pestle and mortar.

As for the pain .. I can't take any more morphine really because I'm already on over a gram a day. I'm hoping that in a few months that the pain from my muscles will be even less and then I can start to decrease the dose I'm on very slowly. Apparently there are herbs that can help you withdraw from morphine .. ginseng is one I believe .. something to do with the receptors in the brain.

Then I can start looking at pain relief for my auto immune illness ahain.

I haven't started my new pain relief tablets yet just incase there's a problem with them. Will try those out when I get home too.

My tummy's been rather troublesome this evening because of the muscle movement but I know it's only temporary at this level. With the muscles there's often about three days during which the muscles move slightly again which, after what happened and the length of time they've been like this, can cause extra pain. Sometimes it's a lot worse than others.

Might try tumeric I guess while I'm waiting to try out the other pain relief I guess. Hopefully the new pain med might help me cut down the morphine too.

Once your body stops being used to taking so much morphine the drug starts working on the pain again for a while as the body loses. it's tolerance to the dose you've just cut out.

It would be very nice to be on a much lower dose of morphine.

Sunday

Found someone else who mentioned feeling very cold too .. this time on the comments on the NHS site .. Livewell on the 23rd July. Describes a very hot face but feeling freezing complete with runny nose and ear and head aches and pain behing the eyes. She went into work feeling like that. She's not been well for a couple of days.

It seems that I should be aware that there was something wrong within 24 hours or so of catching the bug. That must've been my feeling of intense cold because I wasn't aware of feeling any different from usual when I went to bed.

Things were very different when I woke up though. I'd never felt like that before in my life. I had trouble walking to the bathroom because I was so rigid with this freezing sensation. It was very weird and, at the time, all I could think of was that it was some kind of hypothermia brought on by my crappy diet the day before. It hadn't happened before when I hadn't been too careful .. but I guess there could always be a first time.

But it wasn't.

I was ok once I'd warmed myself up .. there were times when I felt a little cold again but not too bad. I didn't have a headache or anything like that or any really noticeable new aches and pains. The back of my throat felt a bit different for a little while but nothing that could've been called a sore throat.

I sneezed a couple of times .. fortunately none painful sneezes and produced some extra nasal gunge so stayed in for a couple of days after the sneezes. Mine was clear too.

Felt a bit run down for a few days afterwards but that was that. Ah, had to charge for the loo at speed once .. but nothing that drastic compared to what I've read and I was left not really that interested in my food for a couple of days .. sort of post viral blurggh.

I'm on 2000mg of Cellcept a day and 10mg of prednisolone both which suppress your immune system. I'd not long had the Cellcept reduced from 3000mg a day.

My doc said to stop taking my Cellcept for a week if I got the flu .. information had come too late I think!!! I'm not sure how quickly the immune system picks up after you've been on these drugs and are ill but I would've stopped them if I'd known. You can't do that with the corticosteroids I take but I'm only on 10mg now cause of the Cellcept so that could've been ok anyway.

All, I can say is that I'm very grateful to the people who put all the relevant information up on the web about the herbs and spices etc. Took a bit of rooting through but we got there in the end.

I don't know if it was the flu .. but I did have flu symptoms and the way it started was very dramatic and uncoldvirus like. And, it's here.

Sneezing and coughing

Anyway, I'm off to bed now. Guess my days as a herbalist as far as flus and colds go are over now. I don't know if I have had it or not but I think so .. I know it's here cause I've been told though I don't know the people who've had it. Guess I probably picked it up off a book or food someone had coughed or sneezed over. I'd've been using hand gel at the time so that would've been the most likely way.

I'm just grateful that something that started off so nastily was so mild. I put it down to the crap I'd eaten the night before cause I knew that my meds could cause a reaction or a new herb I was trying out.

I did know that thinking that I wouldn't catch it was living in cloud cuckoo land though cause of the people I saw coughing and sneezing while they I just kept myself disinfected so that it was very unlikely, if I did pick it up, that I wouldn't pass it on before I knew I had it. Nose, mouth and hands were done if I went out and I decided if I coughed or sneezed while out, which I didn't. that I would cough and sneeze into my armpit area and then get anti viral tissues and gel from my bag and rub down the area I sneezed into to kill the viruses. The tissues are in a bag I spray with that anti bacterial/viral spray. The tissues have something on them that kill the viruses. I'd put the old ones back in another compartment of the bag.

Never had to do it. lol. I'll still be careful though.

Always used to cough and sneeze into me armpit anyway and if I was wearing a jacket under that .. lol!!! Learnt at the South London school of coughing and sneezing .. down the market ... lol!!!

I'm hoping that I've had this flu anyway .. the bug was rather unusual to say the least.

Will still carry on drinking the teas as well obviously.

Could've been

Me friends think it could well have been the flu. Mentioned before that it was followed by a couple of sneezes and a bit of extra gunge so I stayed in for a couple of days to make sure that I was free of symptoms.

I'd been wearing quite a bit of hand scrub too. Still wear it on my hands and round my nose and mouth.

Anyway, that was two or three weeks ago now I guess.

That lady who was feeling very cold had a bad dose of the flu .. worse than anyone I know.

..........

I still don't know if Robert was on the flu pamphlet. Someone I know will ask next time he sees him. He's the one coughing .. guy certainly looks a bit like him. He was hardly ever ill so really hadn't had much experience. Well, not for years. Had TB badly as a child so maybe he could do "swine flu" easily.

Hope he's ok anyway.

Reading that the guy who did the ad on TV showing people how to avoid the flu had caught it reminded me of him again.

Possibly there's a new complacency now too .. someone I know thought the virus had peaked and was slowing down as an illness rather than it just being the end of the first wave.

flu?

I do believe that I could've had the flu.

The article below from The Times is written by a woman who's had the swine flu. She mentions this feeling of intense cold. I'd never felt anything quite like it before when I woke up feeling so cold three or four weeks ago .. went and sat under the warm air heater in the bathroom for about quarter of an hour to warm up. I was frozen and it was summer. OK, I know on that morning there was a coolish breeze blowing through the town but that wouldn't've accounted for how I felt. I thought something like Oh blimey so this is hypotheria but knowing that logically that it couldn't really be.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article6722264.ece

But after reading her description of the feeling cold I think I may well have had it .. though my flu, if that was what it was, was nothing like that.

Lysine

It's the lysine that people are saying works for cold sores and canker sores etc. I did wonder if people were hoping that as it worked for some viral infections that it would for flus and colds too.

I'd come to it through reading an article on lysin and how scientists are hoping to have a spray on the market in three of four years which will stop middle ear infections developing as a result of flus and colds. Googling to read more about it gave lysine results .. lol!!!!! Unfortunately when I tried to follow up what I'd learnt from reading a couple of lysine results I got a lot of conspiracy theorists medical views which wasn't what I was after really. These results turned up cause a scientist had been reported as saying that he thought the swine flu virus had come from a laboratory rather than from nature .. and some people agreed with his theories. Seems there had been a slight miscalculation around the lysine in the viral particles.

Lysine is everywhere .. there's a lot in pulses but little in grains which is why vegans like to mix their grains and pulses to get complete protein. It works the other way round to with some amino acids being found more in grains than pulses. This brings back memories of reading A Diet For A Small Planet and trying to sort out my diet when I became a vegan.

Anyway I had to change my Googling a bit to find out what I was looking for.


It's amazing if it does work well for problems like herpes, cold sores and canker sores.

Tulsi Tea

Anyway .. it seems to work well for cold sores etc. It was just following the virus trail that made me wonder. Apparently there's been some success with HIV too.

As far as colds and flu go seems it's had some success too.

I know that logically I should've had the flu by now .. but who knows. Will just have to wait and see,

There's this tea .. took me ages to find where the source of it was and other people could only supply a few boxes cause that was all they had. I tried ordering it here and could only get 8 boxes of it .. that was all the supplier could supply the shop with.

I Googled and Googled .. checked the company's sites in other countries but couldn't come up with anything.

But I've met someone who's told me now ... lol!!! Really makes you wonder about Google though!!!!

I do know that some people drink it round here through another conversation.

It's Tulsi tea

http://www.chailounge.co.uk/other/Tulsi23Jul03.pdf

This is the elusive company that sells it here

http://www.eastern-venture.com/

The tea they sell are the teas that are sold in India rather than the ones they sell in America as Organic India which sound absolutely lovely. 18 flavours .. but the ones from India are much better value and they're nice too. I just ordered the ordinary tulsi, the one with ginger and the one with green tea though as there was a slight chance that the others could bring on an allergic reaction. Well, I know the chai one wouldn't as I've used cardamon in cooking like umpteen millions of people .. but with the meds I'm on thought it best to be careful.

This store shows the ingredients

http://www.healthstore.uk.com/p415702/ORGANIC-INDIA-Tulsi-Tea-Holy-Basil-25Tea-Bags.html

The organic india sites

http://www.organicindia.co.in/

http://www.organicindia.com/

Sore throat??

I have a large sore at the back of my throat too .. so a sore throat could've been masked by that and my pain meds to some extent .. it always feels nasty .. though it's not so bad now because it seems that it has started to heal. Possibly thanks to the teas.

I also wondered if the extra gunge was due to the First Defence up me nostrils reacting with me illness .. the stuff called slough!!!!

I was waiting for bad headaches etc.

I don't know but I do wonder.

?????

I'm wondering if I've had the flu .. have been for a while now .. I wear hand gel .. my tissues are anti viral and I squirt stuff up my nose to catch viruses .. hopefully to stop them going in or out and put the hand gel round my nostrils and over my lips.

But I think that I might be more non-infectious than not picking things up to be honest.

I know lots of people have had it here .. and surely I must've come into contact with it by now on books or papers or tins of things. People are coughing and sneezing .. though not quite as much as I noticed a couple of weeks ago. I don't use the hand gel in the flat unless I'm going out .. surely I've come into contact with it now. If I have .. with my meds .. I would develop the illness easily and probably would usually be at risk of secondary infections if that's what it's causing.

There was that time I went very cold .. I did wonder if that was going to turn into something nasty .. and I was more gungy than usual once a while back. No high temperature, cough, sickness, chest problems. very achey muscles or headache though. Just extra nose gunge / then two small sneezes .. so stayed in for a couple of days waiting to see what was going to happen!!

I wonder.

Herbs etc

I have to say that my scepticism has gone. I've sorted out my teas .. well, roughly. I'm realistic about them .. they've done a lot for me and my friends. Obviously you have to spend time researching to find out what you think will be the best for you as an individual. Thinking about the meds you're on etc.

I wisg I could drink loads of liquorice tea everyday for the rest of my life .. but obviously that's out so the best think to do is to try to find something to blend with it that I can use when really needed and other blends to carry me through the rest of the time.

My friends are still feeling a bit whoozy but the bugs gone. I've another couple of people down with it now with mild flu symptoms again .. one is on a small dose of the corticosteroids I'm on. No-one seems to be getting the awful headache people have described .. but are noticing more gunge of various descriptions than they'd expect.

I drink herbal concoctions usually now .. whereas before I just drank tap water. Well, it's a medicine to me. Bung a mixture of herbs and spices into my mug .. some in teabags .. others out of packs of herbs and spices. .. have got some made up at Neal's Yard .. the only really unusual one I've got is mullein I guess. I have a bag of mixed spice too ... lol!!! I don't know if that's different depending on who makes it. Bags of tumeric/ginger and garlic .. oh, and, ofcourse .. culinary star anise .. though I really think that's more use for an upset tummy than for the flu. It used to be used to make tamiflu but they use a quicker process using something else now though Roche are still keeping the method they used to get the Tamiflu ingredient out of the star anise a secret. .

You never know though!!! Maybe when combined with tumeric and mullein it quickly tells the flu where to go .. who knows .. or, maybe a combination of white tea/liquorice and ginger will.

Bung it all down!!!

Add a bit of beet juice and/or an orange.

It's certainly helped my friends. Pretty sure both their illnesses would've been much worse without the teas. Certain with one.

I know there are lots of things you can do .. just have to work to find out what they are I guess. I suppose some people that I don't know have used other things that I haven't.

I've sadly found out, on one board today, that someone was going around lying about the herbs and spices and the flu .. we were led to believe that a person was laid up in hospital on a ventilator or something .. but then, by chance, found out that there was no one in that condition in that hospital with the flu !!!!! Guy had also said that he'd been ill with a raging headache etc .. turned out that he hadn't been ill at all.

Well, I'm off to bed now.

lysine

I had thought that I'd found something else that was different from the usual herbs and spices .. lysine .. not lysin .. but to start with Google only linked to people who believe in things that correspond with David Icke's beliefs and conspiracy theorists rather than herbalists/doctors and scientists . I could see why it could help because of it's use in treating cold sores and herpes so decided to try different search criteria .. and came up with more hopeful results.

This was an interesting discussion and I found more like it too.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x85212

Remember a lot of immune stimulants like elderberry aren't suitable for this flu.

Unlike the herbs and spices I couldn't find any lab reports to support it .. but it does seem as if it could work.

A bit of information .. contraindications etc.

http://www.drugs.com/npc/lysine.html

Even if you've had the version of swine flu that's going around at the moment it's worth remembering all this because of future versions.

Sunday

I'm still looking around the web for things that will help with colds and flus. While I'm on the immune suppressants they're always going to be difficult. The teas have made a big difference to my life. Well, not just mine .. lol!!! I feel better and am off some of the tablets thanks to the teas. Whatever happens they've given me a much better quality of life for the last couple of months or so.

It's interesting .. think I'd be interested anyway even if I wasn't so ill so would be quite happy spending time looking into it all.

Found another book at The Works on synchronicity .. £2.99. A couple of my friends have read it already and I guess I will soon. I liked the one that was based on the radio show that I read before. I have a book on mathmatical probability too though I'll leave that for now cause I know a bit about that but I guess that I should be reading them the other way round!!!!!!

Zzzzzzzz

Well, off to bed again .. just as soon as I've finished my tea. Felt a bit better myself today than I have for a few days which is nice. I've decided that from today I really will stick to a healthy diet. It's tempting not to but it's really not a good idea.

Will try to remember ... lol!!!

Will be doing some more packing tomorrow too .. have the medical side sorted out now. The rest shouldn't take very long.

They're better

Both are well now .. seems there were quite a few people feeling unwell in London in the middle of last month.

I have another friend whose daughter has had it too .. in London again. She's up and about again too. My friend didn't catch it from her daughter .. they'd been with each other just before the daughter's symptoms started .. she stayed away from her mum for a week because her mum's ill though not with the flu.

There are people out coughing and sneezing .. but I guess people are going to get caught out after they thought all symptoms had gone or maybe they know they haven't got the flu.

I believe that the West Midlands was the hot spot for the illness in England .. don't know if that's changed.

My friends have recovered well .. still not quite back to their usual selves but they seem to be over the illness. Flu punches holes in the cells .. obviously minute ones but it's still extra mending for the body to do .. so after you've had it it's still a good idea to eat a healthy diet.